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getting married is expensive as hell...how do people pay for it?
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GroundZero
Diamond Member
the brides family is supposed to traditionaly pay for the wedding...
apparently dreaming about something is too much for some people...
and to settle all flames: yes i would like a big fancy wedding. yes i know its not realistic since my parents would have two to pay for (me and my sister) whenever the two of us get married. i also know that if i have the wedding I WANT i'll probably have to save for it myself or get really cheap on it. such as renting dresses or seeing if i could get them made, my aunt is a florist so she can take care of flowers as a present, etc etc.
Koing
Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
I agree with rh17 comments about the things that I have read. First 3 pags. Didn't bother to read the rest.
I'd spend a bit more on the engagement thing as its not a thing you would do many times over. Hopefully only ONCE, and same with the wedding but I don't want to spend much over it. $10k sounds A LOT. I live in UK so it might be different.....
Dam thats funny about the chinese counterfeit money...lol....I'm asian also and have only been to asian weddings and money and the red letter is very popular as is gold and jewellery....
I'd spend a bit more on the engagement thing as its not a thing you would do many times over. Hopefully only ONCE, and same with the wedding but I don't want to spend much over it. $10k sounds A LOT. I live in UK so it might be different.....
Dam thats funny about the chinese counterfeit money...lol....I'm asian also and have only been to asian weddings and money and the red letter is very popular as is gold and jewellery....
alkemyst
No Lifer
A wedding is on of those things most people are conditioned to spend outside 'their means' for.
The wedding should be a substantial cost, as anything once-in-a-lifetime would be, however it shouldn't:
o affect retirement savings
o require the selling off of significant portions of your net worth (cashing in some stock or a few bonds are normal, but not liquidating a portfolio unless that was the purpose of it)
o I feel the honeymoon is the most important part of it all...esp to those worried about the costs of the wedding to begin with. It may be their last long vacation esp if children are planned.
o Should reflect not only on the couple, but also the family in general. If you have all millionaires for relatives you can expect to get back a nice amount in gifts, etc...if most of your family are low-income workers and are also planning on travelling to the wedding, you can't really expect much 'profit'....but that is not the purpose of gifts really any way.
To many people try to plan the wedding that someone who makes 3-4 times what they make would have....You can have a very nice wedding for $20 per head...it won't be dinner and dancing at the Four Seasons, but it will be a nice affair to remember if done right.
The dress and shoes are another place that way too much money is spent, someone making $19,000-25,000 per year has no business wanting to buy a $15-20k gown, yet alone a $5-10k one...yet many salespeople get the girl all tweeked up thinking that without it she will be 'less a bride'.
I had a wedding with about 120 people mostly 60 of them coming from a 2.5 hour plane flight away. Her parents spent about $15-20k total (which was really a settlement she was involved in as a child struck by a drunk driver and she was expecting that money to use later on....since they 'spent' the money we have no idea where some of the money went, except for the costs we were involved in). We ended up with most of the things we needed for a working kitchen and house and about $3000 in cash. So it was a nice fitting event. We could have shaved about $5k off of it also and probably had an identical amount of fun and memories created. You can save a lot also going to non-wedding specialists that are just as capable.
The wedding should be a substantial cost, as anything once-in-a-lifetime would be, however it shouldn't:
o affect retirement savings
o require the selling off of significant portions of your net worth (cashing in some stock or a few bonds are normal, but not liquidating a portfolio unless that was the purpose of it)
o I feel the honeymoon is the most important part of it all...esp to those worried about the costs of the wedding to begin with. It may be their last long vacation esp if children are planned.
o Should reflect not only on the couple, but also the family in general. If you have all millionaires for relatives you can expect to get back a nice amount in gifts, etc...if most of your family are low-income workers and are also planning on travelling to the wedding, you can't really expect much 'profit'....but that is not the purpose of gifts really any way.
To many people try to plan the wedding that someone who makes 3-4 times what they make would have....You can have a very nice wedding for $20 per head...it won't be dinner and dancing at the Four Seasons, but it will be a nice affair to remember if done right.
The dress and shoes are another place that way too much money is spent, someone making $19,000-25,000 per year has no business wanting to buy a $15-20k gown, yet alone a $5-10k one...yet many salespeople get the girl all tweeked up thinking that without it she will be 'less a bride'.
I had a wedding with about 120 people mostly 60 of them coming from a 2.5 hour plane flight away. Her parents spent about $15-20k total (which was really a settlement she was involved in as a child struck by a drunk driver and she was expecting that money to use later on....since they 'spent' the money we have no idea where some of the money went, except for the costs we were involved in). We ended up with most of the things we needed for a working kitchen and house and about $3000 in cash. So it was a nice fitting event. We could have shaved about $5k off of it also and probably had an identical amount of fun and memories created. You can save a lot also going to non-wedding specialists that are just as capable.
Same here. Not because of cost, but that was a factor. We just aren't party people, or like to be center of attention. So, we went to a Bed and Breakfast in St.Augustine and spent a few days there. The husband owner of the B&B (hubby&wife shared ownership) was a notary and was able to marry us. He did a small ceremony in their dining area. It was very nice.
We were going to do the courthouse thing, but, when we went there to register and found out that it's at the counter with all the other things (like divorce papers) it just seemed wrong. We tried planning a small wedding, but, it kept growing cuz we need to invite them and them... bah!
We were going to honeymoon anyway, so, we found out about the B&B and did it that way. Glad we did.
The money we saved by doing it that way, we used for a cruise (already paid for) to happen a few months later.
So, instead of one day of happiness and celebration and $5-7K in debt we had 2wks of fun and no debt. Also were able to get / afford nicer wedding bands that way too.
To each their own, if you want a wedding--go for it. We don't regret our decision, it was right for us.
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