Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Dude, sorry, but it truly sounds like you both need to grow the fvck up. You're just in a better place than her to gain custody because you CAN stop smoking weed and find a PERMANENT job. SHE likely will not give up the affair, and may even go so far as to not want custody of your daughter.
Either way you need to do a few things ASAP!
- Clean up. Quit smoking, drinking, etc. whatever you do that is illegal or seems immoral (even if it's legal, i.e. drinking) just stop it until this is over, and the illegal sh1t forever.
- Get a lawyer. Find out the laws about posessing those emails stat. Someone above mentioned earlier that you obtained them illegally and I think they are wrong, but you need to confirm with an attorney. As long is that computer is your personal possesion, or even a joint possesion, you have full rights to access anything on it as does she. I know this because I've ghosted hdd's for wives who suspected their hubby's of cheating and it's held up in court because the wife could prove partial ownership of the pc.
- DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT....this should be listed first actually, but these aren't in order. Get a notebook, start a word document, hell start a blog. I don't care how you do it, just do it, starting TODAY. Trust me, it will serve you well in the future to take ten minutes out of your day every evening and write down what's going on, where your daughter is/was etc.
- As for custody, a judge determines who gets custody by deciding who the better fit parent is, right now that ain't you my friend. Without a steady, taxable job the judge will default to your working wife. So get something STAT. Try to get something that is flexible around your kids childcare needs, that will help you a lot.
- Last but not least.....don't be stupid. Let me repeat that, DON'T BE STUPID. Don't try to get even, don't get high or drunk and start begging or threatening her or the boyfriend. Just live your life as if she's already gone and you have custody of your daughter.
This is your one and only chance at winning custody. If she gets it, even temp custody until a final custody hearing is arranged, it is going to be damn near impossible for you to get your daughter back.
I won full custody of my son, so take my advice for what it's worth.
Good luck my friend. If you need to feel free to pm me.