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FUNNY...Dealing with a Woman - The Point System!!

LemonHead

Golden Member

Don't know if it's a repost, but I think it's worth reading for us guys. 😀



Here is a guide to the points system that women use to rate men on the things they do
.............or don't do.


SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed.......................................................................+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.......-1

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...........................-1

You leave the toilet seat up.........................................................-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.........................0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex..........-1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..............-2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings............+5

in the snow...................................................................................+8

but return with beer......................................................................-5

and no liners...............................................................................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night......................................0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.........................0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..................+5

You pummel it with a six iron......................................................+10

It's her cat...................................................................................-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party.............................................0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
drinking buddy..............................................................................-2

Named Tiffany...............................................................................-4

Tiffany is a dancer.......................................................................-10

With breast implants.................................................................-100

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday...........................................................0

You buy a card and flowers...........................................................0

You take her out to dinner............................................................0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar...................+1

Okay, it is a sports bar.................................................................-2

And it's all-you-can-eat night.......................................................-3

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team..................................................-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal.................................................................................0

The pal is happily married...........................................................+1

The pal is single..........................................................................-7

He drives a Ferrari.......................................................................-10

With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).............................-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie...............................................................+2

You take her to a movie she likes................................................+4

You take her to a movie you hate................................................+6

You take her to a movie you like..................................................-2

It's called Death Cop 3.................................................................-3

Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....................................-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.................-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly..............................................-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it......+10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts............................................................................-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".......................-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding........................................................-10

You reply, "Where?"...................................................................-35

You reply, "no, I think it's your ass"..........................................-100

Any other response....................................................................-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen,
displaying a concerned expression...............................................0

You listen, for over 30 minutes...................................................+5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience........+50

Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her
saying "well, what do you think I should do"..............................-50

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+100

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep...................-200

😀
 
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