Funniest/stupidest thing you've heard about video cards

[Pr0d1gy]

Makes sense though. The hammer part is what gives the story away as being true. If you've ever worked in a computer store dealing with the public, you know that these old guys come in all angry and give you sh1t just because they know nothing. Trust me, it is most likely 100% true.

As for the thread topic, saying SM3.0 is a good reason to buy an nVidia over an ATi for the last 12 months was pretty laughable, and still is for awhile.

 

[Parkre]

This lady brought in her comp because of a 'whinnning' sound. When we opened it up, there was a mouse nest in there, filling up almost half the tower. As we were cleaning the nest out, a mouse jump out and on to the work table. It took us a week to catch that sucker.

A little off topic, but the nest was above the vid card level

 

[otispunkmeyer]

i havent heard anything totally daft, i mean i dont just go into consumer electronics stores looking to make the guy on £5 an hour look like a fool.

i have saved some one from spending over £100 on a 256mb FX5200, and pointed them to the equally priced 9600pro (you all know the 9600>>>>5200)

infact once i was completely dumbstruck when looking at TFT's in a Comet near me. the guy was like "can i help" and i was like "yeah sure....erm could i have a look at this LG TFT hooked up to something? i wanna check the IQ". he said "no probs....what are gonna use it for?" i replied with "well im building a new computer, for gaming and stuff", he said "well id save your money and buy a nice CRT, CRT's are still much better for gaming and the moment"

i was :Q

i replied with " yeah i know, but i havent really got the space to keep a nice CRT, so im going for a compromise"

turns out he was a hardware nut! he was building a watercooled FX51 set up! we couldnt talk to long though...he was at work after all.


but either way, if a sales person basically tells me a load of bollocks, then i just nod and agree, and tell him ill think about it. then never come back.

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: jiffylube1024
I loved those jokers rabidly asking for download links to pixel shaders.

I will sell you a pixel shader hardware kit (V4.0)

Contains:
1 roll of duct tape
1 20" x 8" piece of cardboard.

Installation: Take piece of cardboard and hold on top of monitor so that the short side hangs over the front of the monitor about 6". Use duct tape to hold in place.

Now all your pixels are shaded.



<Runs for exit>

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: Marsumane

Originally posted by: n7

Originally posted by: MX2times
http://www.tech-forums.net/showthread.php?threadid=68275

OMGWTF :laugh:

Idiocy to the extreme!

Holy shiat, here's the pic of it: http://img332.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc023761cz.jpg

I hope that thread is shens/photochopped...

OMG! I vote for this one! The price for that card is more than what i paid for my entire tower...

-And now i know why you picked the name EvilRage. You seem a bit angry.

-And my opinion on the sales person topic is basically i dont care what they say, as long as they dont lie. I mean how would u like it if someone sold a relative of yours a pci-e graphics card that they couldnt use in their socket a motherboard and couldnt return and was baught based on the sales person saying "yea itll work with your axp".

this one has to win...its even better than the "can i download a new video card?" one....that is priceless.

but i suppose its one way to make PCI-E compatible with AGP :laugh: surely he must of thought "hey this is pretty hard to cut...maybe i shouldnt be doing it?"

 

[BlingBlingArsch]

the stupidest thing i heard was when a NV guy said that th G70 is a next gen Chip. Sacrificing texture quality and AF quality for higher frames per second results is just plain stupid.

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: BlingBlingArsch
the stupidest thing i heard was when a NV guy said that th G70 is a next gen Chip. Sacrificing texture quality and AF quality for higher frames per second results is just plain stupid.

OK, you win. This is the stupidest thing in this thread.

 

[IceMole]

http://secure.newegg.com/NewVersion/Fee...tRatingReview.asp?Item=N82E16814150108

Customer Reviews Of XFX PVT70GUDF7 Geforce 7800GT Video Card - Retail
Rating + 5 N/A, 8/26/2005 10:39:43 PM
Great Card but...
The X shaped box it comes in does absolutely nothing for performance. The box must be removed from around the board before installation onto the DFI Lanparty motherboard anyway.

 

[hans030390]

Originally posted by: BlingBlingArsch
the stupidest thing i heard was when a NV guy said that th G70 is a next gen Chip. Sacrificing texture quality and AF quality for higher frames per second results is just plain stupid.

huh?

 

[Aquila76]

I was visiting my wife's family in upstate New York last summer. Her uncle owns a small PC repair shop and I offered to help him out with a couple systems on a rainy day. This guy comes in looking for a PC with an MX440 video card. Wife's Uncle informs the guy that the card's about 5 years old and is pretty outdated for today's games and for little more money he could get a 9600 series card from ATI.
Guy comes back with, "I am NEVER using an ATI card. They're made by Canada. When I found that out, I put my PC on a stump and shot it with my rifle."
Wife's Uncle and I kinda look at each other like "WTF!" and very quickly get the guy a PC with an nVidia card and get him out of the store.
I guess he REALLY hates Canada!

 

[secretanchitman]

whoa aquila! lol.

"where can i dl a video card?" - priceless.

 

[DVad3r]

An older guy I used to work with was seeking my advice on computers, he asked me what a good video card was and I told him geforce 6800 GT/Ultra (being an nvidia fan). A few days pass and he comes back to me saying that he spoke with his friend who's a "computer wizard" and his friend said the geforce is not really a good video card because it doesnt have 3Dfx.

 

[keeleysam]

Originally posted by: DVad3r
An older guy I used to work with was seeking my advice on computers, he asked me what a good video card was and I told him geforce 6800 GT/Ultra (being an nvidia fan). A few days pass and he comes back to me saying that he spoke with his friend who's a "computer wizard" and his friend said the geforce is not really a good video card because it doesnt have 3Dfx.

Yes it does.

 

[imported_BikeDude]

Originally posted by: EvilRage
This point of view is kind of outlined in my post. Still, regardless of the situation, you don't have the right to harass anyone. Retail is hard enough without people like you.

I both agree and disagree with you.

The one example of "what core is this? Is it San Diego?" is just meaningless. I know that my old Athlon XP 2500+ was a Barton core, but my new Opteron 244s I have no idea. I know they're stepping CG and 130nm, but what code name they once had? Who cares? Knowing the stepping should suffice, and running CPU-Z (or in some cases it is mentioned during POST) will tell you that.

However, telling someone that a budget PCI-E video card is the best video card ever... Or pushing a Celeron over the full monty... That's actively misleading people. For you and me this doesn't matter. We've done the research and probably own better cards already. Joe Public OTOH is in for some nasty surprises.

What worries me is that the same guy could be trying to sell me a dish washer or a fridge. I know absolutely nothing about dish washers, but I think I'd want one that doesn't waste too much water and electricity (aka the "European disease" -- we try to keep resource waste to a minimum). Hence I depend on the sales person telling me what's what. I don't want to buy the Celeron of dish washers. I can afford (and prefer) the more expensive option if it saves me money in the long run, except I don't want to buy the Intel of dishwashers either; if there is an AMD in the dishwasher world, I'll definitively pick that one.

You see how this works? As a customer I'm (in some places) expected to do a lot of research. If I miss this step, then your average sales person will just tell me a bunch of lies and try his best to screw me over.

Honest mistakes -- sure, feel free to educate the guy! I'm sure you'll both feel better. But rewarding downright lies with pearls of wisdom in return? That is the wrong approach. If the person in question wanted to learn something, he would've chosen a different path.

Teach the guy about PCIe and AGP and you've fed him for a day. Pull down his pants and point at his small wiener and you've hopefully scared him into feeding himself in the future. Maybe then he'll have done some honest research in time for your next encounter.

The correct way of treating sales personnel

 

[nick1985]

Originally posted by: xTYBALTx

Originally posted by: n7

Originally posted by: MX2times
http://www.tech-forums.net/showthread.php?threadid=68275

OMGWTF :laugh:

Idiocy to the extreme!

Holy shiat, here's the pic of it: http://img332.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc023761cz.jpg


OMFG. I have never laughed so hard in all my life...
I hope that thread is shens/photochopped...

Wow he actually cut it!

 

[MobiusPizza]

Originally posted by: hans030390

Originally posted by: WaxHaX0rS
Probably been posted here before and most have probably seen it, but a kid asked on another forum somewhere if it was possible to download a videocard because he couldn't afford to buy a better one. I felt bad for him.

wow. I'd say thats as good, if not somewhat better than mine...but if you knew this kid, maybe you'd call mine better.

He must have came from year 3050 when teleport technology is built in to the Internet 6 architecture.

 

[EvilRage]

Originally posted by: BikeDude

I both agree and disagree with you.

The one example of "what core is this? Is it San Diego?" is just meaningless. I know that my old Athlon XP 2500+ was a Barton core, but my new Opteron 244s I have no idea. I know they're stepping CG and 130nm, but what code name they once had? Who cares? Knowing the stepping should suffice, and running CPU-Z (or in some cases it is mentioned during POST) will tell you that.

However, telling someone that a budget PCI-E video card is the best video card ever... Or pushing a Celeron over the full monty... That's actively misleading people. For you and me this doesn't matter. We've done the research and probably own better cards already. Joe Public OTOH is in for some nasty surprises.

What worries me is that the same guy could be trying to sell me a dish washer or a fridge. I know absolutely nothing about dish washers, but I think I'd want one that doesn't waste too much water and electricity (aka the "European disease" -- we try to keep resource waste to a minimum). Hence I depend on the sales person telling me what's what. I don't want to buy the Celeron of dish washers. I can afford (and prefer) the more expensive option if it saves me money in the long run, except I don't want to buy the Intel of dishwashers either; if there is an AMD in the dishwasher world, I'll definitively pick that one.

You see how this works? As a customer I'm (in some places) expected to do a lot of research. If I miss this step, then your average sales person will just tell me a bunch of lies and try his best to screw me over.

Honest mistakes -- sure, feel free to educate the guy! I'm sure you'll both feel better. But rewarding downright lies with pearls of wisdom in return? That is the wrong approach. If the person in question wanted to learn something, he would've chosen a different path.

Teach the guy about PCIe and AGP and you've fed him for a day. Pull down his pants and point at his small wiener and you've hopefully scared him into feeding himself in the future. Maybe then he'll have done some honest research in time for your next encounter.

The correct way of treating sales personnel

While I agree that the type of salesperson who lies his ass off to get a sale is scum, I still think that's going about it the wrong way. The writer in the link obviously has lots of free time and no moral qualms whatsoever; in fact, I'm sure what he's doing is borderline illegal. Those kinds of salespeople don't learn or get scared from being "caught" by a customer, because there's always someone else if you're not buying. The fact that you've shown them how moronic they are only serves to fuel the fire, and doesn't do anything except worsen the situation. (Now he's an asshole/moron who's pissed off at ALL customers now because of the one guy who embarrassed him) Think about it. After someone gets "taught" like that, what's the first emotion you think they'd feel. Fear? No. He's angry, and maybe he even wants revenge (petty but true) so he takes it out on everyone else. Like I said, just makes things worse.

I think my argument has merit: treat other human beings as if they were human beings, regardless of what they do or say. Who's worse, the salesperson who lies to get a sale, or the customer who tries to break his display unit simply BECAUSE he's a salesperson?

Originally posted by: EvilRage
This point of view is kind of outlined in my post. Still, regardless of the situation, you don't have the right to harass ANYONE. Retail is hard enough without people like you.

Like it or not, the majority of salespeople are put in front of customers to make money for the company they work for. While some can be counted on for reliable information, it really is up to the consumer to do the research. Personally, I research all of my purchases thoroughly before I spend a dime, for these reasons: It's my money, I've earned it, and I'm sure as hell not going to spend a huge chunk of it on something I know nothing about, because I owe it to myself to learn about what it is I'm buying.

 

[VIAN]

you don't have the right to harass ANYONE.

And they don't have the right to mislead me.

 

[imported_BikeDude]

Originally posted by: EvilRage
Think about it. After someone gets "taught" like that, what's the first emotion you think they'd feel. Fear? No. He's angry, and maybe he even wants revenge (petty but true) so he takes it out on everyone else.

Well, if he takes it out on everyone else by being angry or similar, he probably won't make many sales... If OTOH he decides to lie even more, then it'll only be easier for others to detect his BS. (less sales that way too)

The writer in the link obviously has lots of free time and no moral qualms whatsoever

You're not familiar with the BOFH stories? BOFH archive for this year

 

[BGuardian75]

Back in '98 I went into BB needing a comp for just internet browsing and a little gaming. I knew next to nothing about hardware then so I figured if I got the latest intel processor that would be enough. Anyway, they had these two Packard Bells for around a grand, one was labeled "Celeron A 333" and one with "MII 333". Neither label specified the cpu brand so I assumed the MII must have been a Pentium II of some kind. Like a dumbass I never asked a salesman why it was MII instead of PII or Pentium, so I took it home all happy and excited. LOL.

I hooked it all up and tried out some quake 1 and MechWarrior 2 and couldn't understand why it was slower than my P160. I was suspicous, so I searched the web and found it was a Cyrix and not only that, but the worst CPU on planet earth for gaming at the time. Pure self-ownage right there.

 

[Yuriman]

Read some reviews on this card:

http://secure.newegg.com/NewVersion/Fee...tRatingReview.asp?Item=N82E16814145121

I'd expect a card like that to be reviewed by a lot of idiots, but some of the things said are completly rediculous.

"Ok to clear this all up in simple words. The performance of the geforce 6200 512mb is great better than the 6600. But The gefore 6600 128mb has better grapics but slower fps speeds."

"Adding a video card to your computer is like adding HP to you car. You can go the budget route and add the new intake manifold, and catback system (6200). Add a turbo charger (6600), or dropping a 500Hp crate engine with a supercharger in it (6800)!

This card (while limited) still gives good performance with added advantage of being able to OC it it also adds the NOS.

This card is running just as good as my ATI 9600, HL2 is running excellent with no slow down, Still have some slow down in Halo (Though it's manageable) I believe this card can be a great alternative to the higher end cards out there, but racing for pinks againist the 6600GT will more than likely leave you riding the bus home."

"I hd upgraded from a geforce FX 5700 (128 MB) to this card, and i noticed all my games running better. i could turn up the resolution higher and the high settings looked much better. the BF 2 demo looked very nice with it. however, my only gripe was the drop in aquamark score.\, but i dont care as long as the games look better. but if you care about that kind of stuff, just get a 6600 with 256 MB."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

 

[aka1nas]

Originally posted by: bdoople
I work at Best Buy, and we all know at least a decent amount about PCs. I guess our store is few and far between when it comes to knowledge. Most of the guys in our PC department are A+ Certified suprisingly.

I worked at a Best Buy for 3 years, and yes, your store is rare. It's nearly impossible for a place like BB to keep people who know anything as they will be constantly pursuing better opportunities elsewhere. Most of the guys who stay there for any length of time are slimy sales types. I remember one of them trying to get a customer to buy a service plan for their new computer by telling them that the "recoiler crystal" in their computer might go bad. The worst thing is, I don't know for sure that he knew that he was full of BS.

 

[Munky]

LOL, I should have known there'd be a lot of stupid comments from the ppl who bough a 512mb gf6200. :laugh:

 

[theMan]

hahaha, recoiler crystal. that reminds me of THIS. lol