Friends with benefits: Yes or No?

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SarcasticDwarf

Diamond Member
Jun 8, 2001
9,574
2
76
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: HotChic
I know I'm likely to be the only one espousing this viewpoint, so you don't need to bash me for it. Anyway...

For me, having sex with someone aside from your life partner (married) is having sex with someone beside your life partner, no matter whether you do it while you're in the relationship or before you're in the relationship. This, while it may make no sense to you, makes perfect sense to me, and is my reasoning for not having sex outside of marriage. Even if I don't know my husband yet, having sex with anyone else is "cheating". So no, I don't do the Fw/B thing.

Wow, that's horribly conservative... Noble in theory, but inconvenient and possibly detrimental in practice.

When you get down to it, your ideals are all you have
 

bolido2000

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2001
3,720
1
0
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: HotChic
I know I'm likely to be the only one espousing this viewpoint, so you don't need to bash me for it. Anyway...

For me, having sex with someone aside from your life partner (married) is having sex with someone beside your life partner, no matter whether you do it while you're in the relationship or before you're in the relationship. This, while it may make no sense to you, makes perfect sense to me, and is my reasoning for not having sex outside of marriage. Even if I don't know my husband yet, having sex with anyone else is "cheating". So no, I don't do the Fw/B thing.

Wow, that's horribly conservative... Noble in theory, but inconvenient and possibly detrimental in practice.

Not very practical either if you think the 2nd most common reason for divorce is sex. Sexual compatibility is a must for a relation to work IMO.
 
Apr 5, 2000
13,256
1
0
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: HotChic
I know I'm likely to be the only one espousing this viewpoint, so you don't need to bash me for it. Anyway...

For me, having sex with someone aside from your life partner (married) is having sex with someone beside your life partner, no matter whether you do it while you're in the relationship or before you're in the relationship. This, while it may make no sense to you, makes perfect sense to me, and is my reasoning for not having sex outside of marriage. Even if I don't know my husband yet, having sex with anyone else is "cheating". So no, I don't do the Fw/B thing.

Wow, that's horribly conservative... Noble in theory, but inconvenient and possibly detrimental in practice.

There's nothing wrong with saving yourself for marriage. Assuming she's Christian she's just doing the "right thing". Inconvenient and detrimental to whom, exactly?
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: HotChic
I know I'm likely to be the only one espousing this viewpoint, so you don't need to bash me for it. Anyway...

For me, having sex with someone aside from your life partner (married) is having sex with someone beside your life partner, no matter whether you do it while you're in the relationship or before you're in the relationship. This, while it may make no sense to you, makes perfect sense to me, and is my reasoning for not having sex outside of marriage. Even if I don't know my husband yet, having sex with anyone else is "cheating". So no, I don't do the Fw/B thing.

Wow, that's horribly conservative... Noble in theory, but inconvenient and possibly detrimental in practice.

When you get down to it, your ideals are all you have

Wrong. Ideals are just pie in the sky attitudes that come crashing to earth in the face of human failings. What you really have is your health, your life experience, your curiosity, your desire to personally grow and improve, and your sense of humor.
 

Aquaman

Lifer
Dec 17, 1999
25,054
13
0
All I have to say is ........... remember the Sienfield episode when Elaine & Jerry wanted a friendship & that "other" thing :Q It never works :(

Cheer,s
Aquaman
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0
Personally I'm a person who forges strong emotional commitments. There are not many people I'm completely open with and those I am I cherish.
Quality over quantity in my point of view.

I'm not saying it's not possible, however, in my pretty generous experience, I've never met a person whom I could have that relationship with and it not end disastrously.

 
L

Lola

no. no way...someone always ends up getting hurt. you start off just as friends with the occasional booty call but then it gets to be "more" for one person and someone always ends up getting screwed *no pun intended* ;)
 

chin311

Diamond Member
Feb 27, 2003
4,306
3
81
Originally posted by: ActPrincess
no. no way...someone always ends up getting hurt. you start off just as friends with the occasional booty call but then it gets to be "more" for one person and someone always ends up getting screwed *no pun intended* ;)

 

freegeeks

Diamond Member
May 7, 2001
5,460
1
81
tried it but it always ends messy.

Nowadays when I have no g/f, I just pay for sex, far easier
 

AndrewNF

Senior member
Sep 1, 2001
284
0
0
I've tried to figure out people who save themselves for marriage. Then I read this article. Link. Enough said. :D

You learn to do it better from doing it more, just like anything that gets better with practice! Especially true from having sex with more than one other person, you pick up things and figure out things, and sex becomes more enjoyable. Fvck friends give you the chance to do this without attaching yourself to one person and going through things like a nasty breakup if you change your mind out them.

Just my 2 cents worth.
 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,461
4
81
I was 22. She was 37. It was working fine until she got all doe-eyed on me and I had to cut her loose. it lasted a couple of months.

It is invariably doomed for failure but fun while it lasts.
 

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
35,560
22
81
Hell yeah, the more the merrier!
ATOTer's have one hell of an imagination. A majority of them can't even talk to a girl without posting the initial YAGT for advice from others who have never had contact with a female other than grandma, mom, or a sister.
 

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Originally posted by: AndrewNF
I've tried to figure out people who save themselves for marriage. Then I read this article. Link. Enough said. :D

You learn to do it better from doing it more, just like anything that gets better with practice! Especially true from having sex with more than one other person, you pick up things and figure out things, and sex becomes more enjoyable. Fvck friends give you the chance to do this without attaching yourself to one person and going through things like a nasty breakup if you change your mind out them.

Just my 2 cents worth.

"i'm just practicing with her for us , baby"