Found out a "friend" is doing something pretty underhanded

[b0mbrman]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: b0mbrman
Wow, it sounds like he is not being very much of a friend to her, and not to you either.

In situations like this, I think you have to just put everything out there and it sounds like you already have your heart in the right place. What you should do is cry to him. That is, let him watch as you literally cry about your feelings so that he understands in no unclear terms how important this girl is to you.

Good luck

Are you joking/kidding? This guy knows I care for this girl. He is the type to do it anyways. I didn't realize that till recently after getting to know him better. I knew him in HS, and he is a friend of a friend, but we were never close. I thought he still was a better guy than this.

I think the problem is that the face you're showing him is an angry one and he may believe you are trying to keep her for yourself rather than protect her.

You need to show him a tearful face so that he knows you only have her best intentions in mind.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Record him saying what he wants to do to her (which amounts to date rape, BTW) or any IMs or emails where he says it, and play or send it to her so she can be forewarned. How can you live with yourself knowing he plans on taking advantage of her and not let her know? You are supposedly her friend.

That is not a good thing to do, but if I get the chance to talk to her, I will warn her to be careful around this guy. That is all I can do at this point. I don't know if it will do any good though.

I think it's better if it's in the guy's own words because if you just tell her in your words, she might think you're just jealous or lying and he's some poor innocent guy.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: her209
From the other guy's perspective: Why am I going to let DaShen get with her when I can?

I see that, but I would not do that to a friend or anyone I respected. The guy claims he is a decent guy, but the more I get to know him, the more I am seeing that that was just a front.

I have backed away from this girl because she seems to not know what she wants now (her previous SO seemed to have really messed her up with what she wanted). I was really trying to just be a friend. With any of the girls that are my friends, I would have a problem with any guy being an ass to them. I am protective of my guy friends too, but not in the same way. It is just the way I am. My close friends know this about me and know that I would be their for them in a tight spot. There are some people that I have hung out with that have said to my close friends that they wished they had friends like me (I found out from my friends that they said that and some of those guys have become good friends of mine too).

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
I think it's better if it's in the guy's own words because if you just tell her in your words, she might think you're just jealous or lying and he's some poor innocent guy.

Doing it either way is not a good idea in my opinion. One says you don't respect her decisions enough to let her judge these people, the other says just what you are saying. If the chance arises, I may just tell her to be careful around this guy and leave it at that. If she wants to know more, then that is her decision, but I won't press the matter. It is her life even if it sucks if this guy tries to hurt her.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: b0mbrman
I think the problem is that the face you're showing him is an angry one and he may believe you are trying to keep her for yourself rather than protect her.

You need to show him a tearful face so that he knows you only have her best intentions in mind.

I have come to know this guy pretty well now, and let me tell you, that will not stop him. Some guys just don't really care, or they deny that what they are doing is wrong. I tend to not associate myself with these type of people, but I guess I didn't judge this guy well enough.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Pacfanweb
Bottom line: Your friend is doing what he thinks will get him some leg. Whether anything is wrong with that is really up to the girl. She's the one who will either put out or not.

Yeah, that is true. Writing this stuff was therapeudic. I won't worry about it too much. But just letting you know, this girl is not the type of girl that will loosely sleep around before marriage. More than likely if he were to take advantage of her, she would have to be extremely drunk for that to happen, so I guess I shouldn't worry, but you never know what a guy might resort to sleep with a girl.

Never think that a supposed "good girl" doesn't put out. Some of the freakiest girls are ones you think are goody-goody and are saving it for their honeymoon.

 

[faenix]

growwww up