Finding closure with a bully high school teacher

[Texashiker]

<serious thread>

This may sound trivial, but a certain public high school teacher has been on my mind for the past 27+ years. The guy was a coach and biology teacher. He used his teacher status to promote his religious and personal beliefs.

Example 1 - he once showed a video about abortion. The video was rather disgusting as it showed a fetus being torn apart into little pieces. I decided not to watch the video, put my head on my desk and took a nap.

When the video was over and the lights came on, the teacher told me I got a zero for sleeping through the video.

My thoughts on the video then and now, I should not be forcibly subjected to someones religious beliefs. Since I could not walk out of the class taking a nap was my way of opting out. To be forced to sit and listen to someone spew their religious beliefs was not acceptable to me then or now.

The video was not shown as part of the biology class, it was him trying to promote his christian anti-abortion agenda. He made that very clear when he was talking to the class.

Example 2 - this was harmful and still hurts my feelings 27+ years later, I overheard the teacher telling a buddy of mine he needed to stay away from me. My buddy and I were friends outside school, and are still friends to this day. I am 45 years old, he is 44 and we still go camping and fishing together.

Last weekend I found the teachers email address posted on a church website. I sent him an email asking if he is the same guy and he said yes.

Before I send the guy an email telling him how much of an asshole he was and getting closure, I thought I would ask advice here.

Let this go, or send the teacher a venom filled email telling him exactly how I feel?

 

[CZroe]

I believe a child should be a protected human life even in the womb for entirely non - religious reasons. It sounds to me like you are attempting to dismiss it as "religious" just because the man is also religious. The point stands alone. Now, whether or not it was appropriate subject matter for you at your age is a relevant matter. Also, I disapprove of all the indoctrination that teachers who disagree with him espouse, unchallenged, daily.

 

[Genx87]

Get over it.

 

[z1ggy]

This is not the best place to ask for advice.. Have you not learned that yet??

Do whatever you think is going to make you feel best.

 

[JimKiler]

<serious thread>

This may sound trivial, but a certain public high school teacher has been on my mind for the past 27+ years. The guy was a coach and biology teacher. He used his teacher status to promote his religious and personal beliefs.

Example 1 - he once showed a video about abortion. The video was rather disgusting as it showed a fetus being torn apart into little pieces. I decided not to watch the video, put my head on my desk and took a nap.

When the video was over and the lights came on, the teacher told me I got a zero for sleeping through the video.

My thoughts on the video then and now, I should not be forcibly subjected to someones religious beliefs. Since I could not walk out of the class taking a nap was my way of opting out. To be forced to sit and listen to someone spew their religious beliefs was not acceptable to me then or now.

Example 2 - this was harmful and still hurts my feelings 27+ years later, I overheard the teacher telling a buddy of mine he needed to stay away from me. My buddy and I were friends outside school, and are still friends to this day. I am 45 years old, he is 44 and we still go camping and fishing together.

Last weekend I found the teachers email address posted on a church website. I sent him an email asking if he is the same guy and he said yes.

Before I send the guy an email telling him how much of an asshole he was and getting closure, I thought I would ask advice here.

Let this go, or send the teacher a venom filled email telling him exactly how I feel?

I recommend you write the email but not send it. He could not only not give you closure but make it worse. You could write him in the most positive way possible and he might treat it objectively but chances are that would not happen.

 

[Texashiker]

Do whatever you think is going to make you feel best.

What would make me feel the best is to drive to his house, drag him into the front yard and beat the living hell out of him.

But there is this whole calling the police, getting arrested, court, probation, criminal record thing.

I would probably feel better all that, but getting ass raped in prison would make me feel worse. Then there is the hep B, HIV issue while getting ass raped.

What would make me feel best right now could have long lasting negative effects.

 

[dabuddha]

I'd send him an email but not a venom filled email. If the teacher was a shitty teacher, feel free to let him know. But don't let your anger show in your email cause that just lets him win. Just be matter of fact in the email detailing how shitty of a teacher/human he was and then ignore any emails from him and consider that chapter closed. If you can't do the later, then don't even send the email.

 

[sourceninja]

i suggest therapy.

 

[Howard]

What would make me feel the best is to drive to his house, drag him into the front yard and beat the living hell out of him.

You're messed up.

 

[Mixolydian]

I've been known to hold a grudge or two, but this is taking it to a whole new level. You definitely need to find a way to get over it.

 

[Nintendesert]

This is a much better troll thread than Texastard's usual schtick.

 

[JManInPhoenix]

I recommend you write the email but not send it. He could not only not give you closure but make it worse. You could write him in the most positive way possible and he might treat it objectively but chances are that would not happen.

This. Write whatever you need to - warts & all, then delete it. Forgive him and then let it go.

 

[brandonb]

The video is what should be played to everybody regardless of their personal beliefs. Abortion clinics should be required to play them before the woman says "Lets move forward with it." I think if people knew what abortion was, then they are less likely to use the procedure.

I have viewed abortion videos and they made me think the practice was despicable, and it has nothing to do with my religious beliefs. I've been pro-life through my religious and non religious times of my life mainly because of that video.

That said, get over it. There is nothing wrong with the teacher.

I had my chemistry teacher tell me once that I was a waste of skin. This was during the time period when he quit smoking after 30 years. He was a cool teacher before he quit, and an irritable and miserable soul after he quit, like many people who quit nicotine. I'm 37 now, and I still remember him telling me that, and it bothered me then. I realized now that he probably regret what he said to me that day, even if he didn't apologize. I'm ok with it. I've been called worse.

 

[Texashiker]

This is a much better troll thread than Texastard's usual schtick.

Not a troll thread. I never use the <serious thread> tag on troll threads.

I feel this teacher was a bully towards his students. Especially students who did not listen to his religious rants.

 

[Nintendesert]

Not a troll thread. I never use the <serious thread> tag on troll threads.

I feel this teacher was a bully towards his students. Especially students who did not listen to his religious rants.

I still think you're trying to trick me.

 

[PhlashFoto]

There are many jerks out there in the world. Are you going to tell off each and every one of them via email? I, too, have had many share of dealing with horrid teachers. I just chalk it up as a learning experience to know what types of people are out there.

 

[Zivic]

27 yrs this has been eating at you? Holy sh!t you must not have anything else worthwhile in your life to be concerned with. thinned skinned much?

 

[brandonb]

Yup. Grin and bear. Realize that people are different than you. That they have their own values, morals, and interests. Sometimes they conflict, sometimes they don't. Sometimes you are at their mercy.

A part of living.

 

[festa_freak]

You need to find a way to forgive him for subjecting you to that. Forgivness is for YOU and not him. Reconciliation is for both parties.
Forgive him deep in your soul and allow yourself to walk in that freedom.

 

[Texashiker]

I still think you're trying to trick me.

This is probably part of my excessive compulsive disorder. 20mg Lexapro daily helps, but I still obsess from time to time.

In the grand scheme of things I see teacher as a stumbling stone rather than a helping hand.

27 yrs this has been eating at you? Holy sh!t you must not have anything else worthwhile in your life to be concerned with. thinned skinned much?

Married, 4 kids, divorced, remarried, went to college,,, yea, I have a lot of stuff to occupy my mind.

 

[AViking]

27 years? It's probably time to see a counselor. That's a long time to let something bother you. I'd tell you to get over it or something but I think we're long past that. You should spend a few hours talking to a professional about this.

 

[Zivic]

This is probably part of my excessive compulsive disorder. 20mg Lexapro daily helps, but I still obsess from time to time.

In the grand scheme of things I see teacher as a stumbling stone rather than a helping hand.




Married, 4 kids, divorced, remarried, went to college,,, yea, I have a lot of stuff to occupy my mind.

If you are still that worked up about it after 27 yrs, you have issues. I am not saying you should have completely forgotten it ever happened, but the way you are talking about it now is not normal

 

[DaTT]

I say write the e-mail. Obviously post it here and also his response.

 

[tynopik]

when you say 'bully' I think 'inflicting pain for the pleasure of inflicting pain'

nothing you have mentioned reaches that level. He had a video he thought was important and he was trying (in his mind) to save your friend from your toxic influence.

you might find it offensive/inappropriate/uncalled for, but I don't see anything malicious about it.

 

[z1ggy]

27 years? It's probably time to see a counselor. That's a long time to let something bother you. I'd tell you to get over it or something but I think we're long past that. You should spend a few hours talking to a professional about this.

For real. Everybody gets made fun of as a kid for one thing or another. Kids these days don't understand how to deal with being bullied and leave all their pent up emotions around for years.