Favorite Simpsons Quotes

[cowsclaw]

Bart: My ovaries!

 

[loic2003]

"Well if you're going to get mad every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll have to stop doing stupid things!"

 

[gw186]

"Jessica, you want some buffalo wings? Sorry I don't eat buffalo."

 

[rocadelpunk]

The goggles, they do nahhhthing! r.w.

"ah stupid flood pants..they they're working, my feet are wet, but my cuffs are bone dry...everything's coming up millhouse!"

"best death ever" comic book guy
"but aquaman you cannot marry a woman without gills you are from two different worlds..oh how i've wasted my life" comic book guy

"I just realised that the cat and the dog haven't had a wedding, they've been living in sin!" marge

and a billion others.

 

[jjzelinski]

Originally posted by: Iron Woode

Originally posted by: jjzelinski
Peter: Oh dont worry I read about this in a book.

Brian: are you sure it was a book? are you sure it wasnt nothing?!

Can't you read the thread topic?

why are you posting family guy quotes?

Oh I'm sorry I could've sowrn I saw "funny"quotes" with "the simpsons" , so I figureed it was a mistake

Peter: I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

 

[dudeman007]

Originally posted by: jjzelinski
Lois: Peter, why would they make you presidesnt?
Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - NYAH!
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.

*SIGH*

 

[rocadelpunk]

Originally posted by: jjzelinski

Originally posted by: Iron Woode

Originally posted by: jjzelinski
Peter: Oh dont worry I read about this in a book.

Brian: are you sure it was a book? are you sure it wasnt nothing?!

Can't you read the thread topic?

why are you posting family guy quotes?

Oh I'm sorry I could've sowrn I saw "funny"quotes" with "the simpsons" , so I figureed it was a mistake

Peter: I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic." homer


"I could pull a better cartoon outta my aaayyyy, kids!" Krusty

"i wash myself with a rag on a stick"

"hey mah, get off the dang roof!"
"here you go off to a woman with less discriminating tastes"



(voice from the crowd): I'll vote for a third-party candidate!
Aliens: Go ahead! You're just wasting your vote! Mwahhhahahahah

 

[quizzelsnatch]

Originally posted by: jjzelinski

Originally posted by: Iron Woode

Originally posted by: jjzelinski
Peter: Oh dont worry I read about this in a book.

Brian: are you sure it was a book? are you sure it wasnt nothing?!

Can't you read the thread topic?

why are you posting family guy quotes?

Oh I'm sorry I could've sowrn I saw "funny"quotes" with "the simpsons" , so I figureed it was a mistake

Peter: I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

okay? go make your own thread.

 

[rocadelpunk]

Mr. Burns: What is this? Some kind of force field around these vegetables!
Homer: That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get salad or sneeze on stuff.
Mr. Burns: Hurl this (pudding) at THAT (lenny)
Homer: At Lenny, but he's a war hero!
Mr. Burns: Well lets decorate him, then.
Homer: No!
Mr. Burns: Not even for... four dollars!?
Homer: :hurls it:
Lenny: Ow! My eye, the doctor said I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
Mr. Burns: Ahaha, that was capital! My lung is aching.
Homer: I like when I threw the pudding!
Mr. Burns: Do it again! I'll make it an even eight.
Homer: You're the boss :hurls another:
Lenny: Ow! I'm in hell!
Mr. Burns: Let's keep the laugh's coming eh, Simpson? Let's say I make you my executive in charge of recreation. No, better yet.. my prank monkey!
Homer: Will you keep giving me money?
Mr. Burns: I can't have my little monkey running around in rags!
Homer: Woohoo! :hurls another pudding, at Carl:
Carl: HEY!
Mr. Burns: What are you doing, man!? That's Carl!





"I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer!"
"I am so smart...S-M-R-T. I mean... S-M-A-R-T"

"the denver broncos...ahhhh"


and the ones below me are hilarious.


especialy racoon, my fav ep.

 

[Wadded Beef]

and can someone explain this one to me? its the quote where they unveil a statue of jimmy carter and a random guy in the crown yells "He's History's Greatest Monster!" i guess this was either before my time or it did a flyby on me

 

[UncleWai]

Wiggum: Well, well, well. This place's got more pirated tapes than a ...

Lou: A Chinese K-Mart?

Wiggum: Well, that'll have to do. [to Milhouse] Uh, these yours, son?

Milhouse: No, sir. We're just exhibiting them for profit without permission.

Wiggum: Fair enough. But the owner is in more hot water than ...

Lou: A Japanese teabag?

Wiggum: Why don't you lay off the Asians, Lou?

 

[xEDIT409]

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

 

[chrisms]

Homer: To Alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

 

[bootymac]

"I get a practice stab!"

 

[rgwalt]

Peter: Oh... Oh my God... Its everywhere!!! Its in my racoon wounds!!!

R

 

[xEDIT409]

Skinner: For Privacy's sake, lets call her Lisa S...Wait thats to ovious. How about L Simpson

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!

Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story.

Homer: I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
Mrs. Krabappel: We need names.
Homer: Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson."

 

[anxi80]

Lionel Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'.

Lionel Hutz: It's a thorny legal issue, all right. I'll need to refer to the case of Finders v. Keepers.

Lionel Hutz: Milhouse baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer..., er keeper awayer.

Lionel Hutz: Now Apu, Mrs. Simpsons claims she forgot she was carrying that bottle of... delicious bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors. What's that? You want me to drink you? I'm in the middle of a trial.

 

[Anubis]

"Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odor. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson"

 

[Anubis]

SHELBYVILLE MAN "Bust in here and take it? You must be stupider than you look."
HOMER "Stupider like a fox!"

 

[Anubis]

HOMER "Ooo! Punch!"
LISA "Ugh! Dad, this is blood!"
HOMER "Correction! Free blood!"

 

[Anubis]

MARGE "Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it"
GRANDPA "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I acknowledge Missouri!

 

[inspiron8200guy]

mmmm, doughnuts.

 

[SSP]

Macbain: Real aaacid?

Teh goggles! they do naaaathing!

 

[Wadded Beef]

Originally posted by: inspiron8200guy
mmmm, doughnuts.

lame quote, find something clever

 

[cjgallen]

HOMER: Alright, everybody in the pool!

AMISH FARMER: ?Tis a fine barn, but sure ?tis no pool, English.

HOMER: D?oh-eth!