• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Family Guy quotes

O

Orsorum

Lifer
'K, inspired by the Simpsons quotes thread, here's one for that show that we all know and love...

"Of course a man made it, it's a commercial, Lois, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner."
 
"fat chicks need lovin too, but they gotta pay!"

"name's patty tanager the caddy manager, yeah it rhymes. big whoop, wanna fight about it?"

"dennis you jealous douche!"

"youuuuuu....?"
"actor?"
"youuuuu....?"
"person?"
"youuuuu....?"

"are you sure it was a book peter...are you sure it wasn't...NOTHING?"
 
my favorite one is when he gets his first welfare check in the mail after loosing his job. it goes something like this...

"...hey look, our first welfare check, quick son lets spread used car parts over the lawn"

-bob
 

"Cut my milk!" <-- Stewie


"Hey Bob, ya remember the other day you were asking me what the definition of irony was and I said...AARRHAHHHHAHGGHH" <-- Random guy being attacked by mutant squid Stewies.
 
"I sometimes think to myself, are all women this difficult, then I thought, wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual" - Stewie
 
"Brian look! There's a secret message in my Alphabits! It says 'oooooooo'!"
"Peter, those are Cheerios."

"Now heres the plan. youll enter through the air conditioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches above the floor so youll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin."
"Can i buy some pot from you?"
 


<< I loved that episode when he kept hitting his knee and was like "ahh..." for like 2 minutes. >>



haha.. the beer factory spinoff of chocolate factory.. GREAT ep..

I also like the one where peter falls down from something and spider man whips out a net for him and says "everybody gets one" or something to that effect.
 
"Dear diary...Jackpot!"

Lois: For me? Please?
Peter: All right, all right, but you owe me. Later, under the mistletoe, open mouth, no matter how drunk I am.

Stewie: I needn't fear this Santa. If he were truly omnipotent he'd have the testicular fortitude to show himself!

Peter: The deep south? Isn't that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy?

Stewie: Oh, I feel so deliciously white trash. Mummy, I want a mullet!

Brian: Look over there! It's a newly married interracial gay couple burning the American flag!

Vacuum repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake.
Peter: Oh. Well, did you save it?
Vacuum repairman: Uh, no.
Peter: You bastard.

<some spoof of that scene in american beauty plays where the guy is filming that bag blowing in the wind>
God: It's just some trash blowing in the wind! Do you have any idea how complicated your circulatory system is?!

<family is about to go to a baseball game and chris made a sign to bring along that reads "John 3:16">
Brian <opens a bible and reads the passage>: And the Lord said, Go Sox.

Chris: Dad, what the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

Stewie: "Remind me to ask the doctor when my other testicle is going to descend."

Adam West:I love this job more than I love taffy... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

Stewie: "Yea, and God said to Abraham, 'You will kill your son Isaac.' And Abraham said, 'I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry, is this better? Check, check, check. Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here.'"

 
"If you could have sex with any women in the world, excluding your wife, who would it be?"
"Taylor Hanson!" (if I remember correctly)
"Taylor Hanson is a guy"
"....HAHAHAHAA! Pulled one over ol' Quagmire!"
"No, seriously, he's a guy"
"... But... But it can't be! I have all these magazines!... Oh god! Oh god!..."
 
Not really a quote but they had a comercial making fun of those Diamonds are forever comercials that just show an outline of a man and women facing each other.
In their version the man and women are facing each other and then the announcer comes on a say "Diamonds she' ll pretty much have too" and then the womens outline starts going down 🙂.
 
"My name is uh, pea...tear...griffon"

A big toxic waste truck rolls over in the yard and in big bold letters it says TOXIC WASTE

"I wonder whats in it, maybe it's candy!"
 


<< Chris: Dad, what the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
 >>





ROFLMAO 😀
 
"Change me, i've leaked through my ski pants and i won't face him wet."

"Maybe we should set him up with another lemon snow cone huh? "
"No thanks, the last one you gave me didn't taste like lemon at all, it tasted like........oh you guys are asses!"

"So you want to dress me up and trot me about like a circus poodle hmm? Well let me consult my agent, Mr. Irving R. PointyStick!!!!!!!"


"Let me out of this stinkfilled courderoy dungeon!!!"


"That was even funnier than the one where Anus got the hamster stuck in his mouth."
 
Stewie: If you're so good at reading lips, read this *Mouths a word*
Brian: I'm telling
Stewie: No WAIT! I said VACUUM!

Gotta love that show 😀

Gawd I even tried it 😀
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top