SagaLore
Elite Member
- Dec 18, 2001
- 24,036
- 21
- 81
Don't want to hurt her feelings? Pretend you love her for the rest of your life and marry her. That will make everything better. 
6 months is nothing. If you don't want to be with her, then break up. Don't fall into the trap of "I stayed with you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings even though I have gone to drinking and now verbally and physically abuse you because I can't stand the sight of you - but I did it for you"
6 months is nothing. If you don't want to be with her, then break up. Don't fall into the trap of "I stayed with you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings even though I have gone to drinking and now verbally and physically abuse you because I can't stand the sight of you - but I did it for you"
Originally posted by: MaxDSP
Originally posted by: Ikonomi
Originally posted by: Metalloid
Originally posted by: bR
You better tell her now.
Jerk.
Well I was on the brink of tears anyway, so thanks for pushing me over the edge.
Chillax. Sometimes your feelings just change, and that's the way it is. You have a couple choices. You can give it some time, to see if maybe you were going through a phase, or if maybe there's something that will re-ignite the spark. Or, if you know for sure what you're feeling, do the right thing and tell her that you don't feel the same anymore, and break it off.
Falling in love is easy, 'cause there's a soft girl there to cushion your landing.
But uh... Don't cry. It's unbecoming to an ATOTer.
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.cfm?catid=38&threadid=1276971
:Q
pathetic
yea..falling out of love sucks...but if it's on your end...doesn't really hurt you much, does it?
i dunno...i thought i was in love with someone for a looooooong time...but i started feeling the way you did...getting annoyed and just not really wanting to spend time with them anymore.
::shrugs:: i also understand what you mean about not hurting her and whatnot....but better end it now rather than hurt her later when things get more complicated or feelings (on her part) become stronger.
i dunno...i thought i was in love with someone for a looooooong time...but i started feeling the way you did...getting annoyed and just not really wanting to spend time with them anymore.
::shrugs:: i also understand what you mean about not hurting her and whatnot....but better end it now rather than hurt her later when things get more complicated or feelings (on her part) become stronger.
Maybe it's just time for you to move on. That is a much better choice than carrying on a relationship that has reached a plateau and isn't going anywhere.
Feelings can change and maybe this is for the best for both of you. But do yourself a favour and be honest with her about this, because dragging out the relationship will just make things worse.
I was with my ex-bf for about 2 and a half years before I finally broke up with him once and for all. I knew that I didn't really want to be with him anymore, but it was still hard because being with him was nice and familiar. I think I waited so long mostly because I was too scared of being alone again. Things got better though, and I realized that there's way more out there for me.
Good luck, whatever you do. And smile, it's not the end of the world.
Feelings can change and maybe this is for the best for both of you. But do yourself a favour and be honest with her about this, because dragging out the relationship will just make things worse.
I was with my ex-bf for about 2 and a half years before I finally broke up with him once and for all. I knew that I didn't really want to be with him anymore, but it was still hard because being with him was nice and familiar. I think I waited so long mostly because I was too scared of being alone again. Things got better though, and I realized that there's way more out there for me.
Good luck, whatever you do. And smile, it's not the end of the world.
MrDudeMan
Lifer
- Jan 15, 2001
- 15,069
- 94
- 91
man you guys always say "DUMP HER A$$ NOW!"
maybe HE is the problem...its not always the other persons problem, and we never truly know since we only get 1 side of the story.
metalloid, 6 months may not be the longest relationship in the world, but its nothing to piss on either. who knows what you are going through and how you feel, and the only way you are going to be able to fix this is to either talk to her or just evaluate how you really feel. think about what you made you crazy about her to begin with, and then think about why that may have changed. if it because of selfish interests, then maybe you can change your ways and realize it is a two-sided issue. if you simply are ready to move on, then there is nothing wrong with that, just dont be an a$$hole to her. good luck.
maybe HE is the problem...its not always the other persons problem, and we never truly know since we only get 1 side of the story.
metalloid, 6 months may not be the longest relationship in the world, but its nothing to piss on either. who knows what you are going through and how you feel, and the only way you are going to be able to fix this is to either talk to her or just evaluate how you really feel. think about what you made you crazy about her to begin with, and then think about why that may have changed. if it because of selfish interests, then maybe you can change your ways and realize it is a two-sided issue. if you simply are ready to move on, then there is nothing wrong with that, just dont be an a$$hole to her. good luck.
Relationship = person + person = work
Everything take works and just keep running/bouncing between relationship won?t help your search for the life mate. The best thing that you can do is to take sometime to think about things and base your decisions upon it.
Find out the pro & con.
Can you live with this person & her personality for the rest of your life (don?t expect her to change for you)?
Does she fulfill most if not all of your needs?
Do you have the need to fulfill all of her needs with no condition?
Good luck.
MaxDepth
Diamond Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 8,757
- 43
- 91
It's springtime and you want some new sum-sum. Well, you are human.
Time to shed that winter girlfriend and get you something tanned and thin.
Of course, only a true bastard would do such a thing. A sweet and caring man would try to save the relationship and work on such facile and shallow feelings.
:evil:
Time to shed that winter girlfriend and get you something tanned and thin.
Of course, only a true bastard would do such a thing. A sweet and caring man would try to save the relationship and work on such facile and shallow feelings.
:evil:
BlueWeasel
Lifer
- Jun 2, 2000
- 15,944
- 475
- 126
I disagree. Changing your ways is something you do to save a marriage.
Someone you've been dating for a few months? If it ain't working, just get out - it doesn't matter who the guilty party is. You have made no commitments or oaths; why play as if you have?
wow, a lot of arseholes here with nothing to add at all.
I feel for ya, man. I'm experiencing the same thing myself. My gf and I have been going out for almost 2 years, but lately, I don't know. The passion isn't there anymore. I still love her, but I don't get the thrill I used to when I look at her. I'm just trying to figure out if my feelings for her are diminishing or if it's just a natural flow. I've been starting to think of other girls, but I know I can't break up with her, because I do still love her, just not as passionately as I once did.
Anyway, my advice is give it a little while, see how things go. If you really find yourself being unhappy, well then, I guess it's just time to move on. It won't be easy or pleasant, but it's probably best for both of you. Good luck with whatever happens...
I feel for ya, man. I'm experiencing the same thing myself. My gf and I have been going out for almost 2 years, but lately, I don't know. The passion isn't there anymore. I still love her, but I don't get the thrill I used to when I look at her. I'm just trying to figure out if my feelings for her are diminishing or if it's just a natural flow. I've been starting to think of other girls, but I know I can't break up with her, because I do still love her, just not as passionately as I once did.
Anyway, my advice is give it a little while, see how things go. If you really find yourself being unhappy, well then, I guess it's just time to move on. It won't be easy or pleasant, but it's probably best for both of you. Good luck with whatever happens...
Yeah don't drag it out, it will just get worse and worse. Also, don't jump into the water too fast without testing it.
For this situation, maybe you should take a look at your current relationship and see how you feel and where it stands.
Not all relationships are perfect but they do take time to grow and develop. As for the new chick, please don't just jump into a relationship with her right away. Just take things slowly and see if she is someone special.
Good luck with it all. Yes, falling out of love does hurt.
For this situation, maybe you should take a look at your current relationship and see how you feel and where it stands.
Not all relationships are perfect but they do take time to grow and develop. As for the new chick, please don't just jump into a relationship with her right away. Just take things slowly and see if she is someone special.
Good luck with it all. Yes, falling out of love does hurt.
MrDudeMan
Lifer
- Jan 15, 2001
- 15,069
- 94
- 91
you can disagree all you want, but its not your relationship, so why does it matter whether or not YOU think it is worth it? that was my point. if i was a girl, i would never date you if i really knew that is how you felt about me. "no commitments or oaths"...i would say you definitely have a commitment, maybe not an oath.
edit: oh, and dating her friend is playing with fire.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
love stinks, love sucks, love is the most confusing thing in the world
and then in the blink of an eye it can be the best thing in the world, too.
and then in the blink of an eye it can be the best thing in the world, too.
Cuda1447
Lifer
- Jul 26, 2002
- 11,757
- 0
- 71
Originally posted by: HonkeyDonk
Originally posted by: Metalloid
Originally posted by: bR
You better tell her now.
Jerk.
Well I was on the brink of tears anyway, so thanks for pushing me over the edge.
baby
ROFL you made him cry.
I think you'd be better dating a guy, you're a bit to sensitive.
Man up and tell her!
MrDudeMan
Lifer
- Jan 15, 2001
- 15,069
- 94
- 91
no offense, but everyone handles their emotions differently, and that is pretty immature to make fun of him for crying. maybe if you could find a girlfriend, you would realize it hurts to lose them when you arent sure if it is the right decision. no one is perfect, except you i guess, and being sensitive may be one of his weaker social aspects. i am a bit sensitive sometimes as well, but i excel in areas where others may not. ever heard the saying "real men cry"...? its ok to cry, and its people like you that need to act tough and prove yourself for no good reason.
No, no, it isn't her. She hasn't changed, I have. I will admit that. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm about to go get her, and we will see how I am feeling.
Because as someone who wasted many years on long-term relationships (1.5 years, 1 year, 3 years, 2 years) that were going nowhere (and I damn well knew it), I've got a lot of experience to speak from. Until the day you acquire a government license and declare before god, "I do," you have absolutely ZERO commitment to anyone other than yourself. You are the useless party in the relationship if you aren't happy, and until you are married, there is no reason to preserve such a relationship because you still have time to bail out and find a relationship that DOES make you happy. This is the setup that very often leads to the unhappily couple that got married "Just because it seemed like the next logical step and she insisted on it."
The day you realize that it just isn't working, just get out. The sooner the better. The longer you wait, the more intertwined your lives, friends, possessions, living spaces, etc become and the harder and more painful and greater losses you both will suffer when you try to extricate yourselves.
If you *truly* care about the other person, you will be honest with her and set her free as soon as you can without leading her to believe that everything is OK until you hit the breaking point a year later and the whole thing comes crashing apart.
I made this mistake far too many times. Had I just gotten out as soon as I realized it wasn't going to work, things would have been a lot easier and a lot friendlier for both parties.
I also second the notion no wait awhile before jumping in with someone else. While I myself was lucky enough to find success in doing so, I set myself up for disaster every other time and ended up moving so quickly from one committed relationship to the next that I really had no idea who I was or what I wanted and ended up stringing these girls painfully along while I figure it out.
You can step down from your moral high horse. I've been there. You can call me a jerk if you like, but the real jerk is the guy who sticks it out just because he doesn't have the balls to move on. You'll make her miserable because you are miserable. And all this so you can play like you're married even though you are not.
Don't go there, trust me.
You should tell her how you feel, because it isnt right to strong her along. You definitely should not go after someone who she is friends with. Thats just messed up. I feel bad for her
Sh!t happens. You're not attracted to her anymore. It doesn't make you a dick. It does if you cheat on her or you don't tell her though. Just tell her and get it over with. Prepare for the remorse afterwards.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 22K
-
News NVIDIA and Intel to Develop AI Infrastructure and Personal Computing Products- Started by poke01
- Replies: 384
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
Facebook
Twitter