Ex-Girlfriend wrote over $3000 in bad checks!

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: merkinofbaphomet
Gee, thanks for all of the free dating advice, fellas!

I should point out that we were together for well over 10 years and a "registered domestic partnership" in our city. The "partnership" allowed us to have some of the benefits of married couples, without being married. I guess girlfriend is an understatement, but "domestic partner" sounds so... so... gay!

I was wondering if I could demonstrate the fact that I was not an active participant through the fact that all checks were passed by the ex. I can literally show this transaction by transaction, as I have a full report of activity on the account. I would think this information might tip the scales in my favor.

I find it strange that she is the one being sued and having her wages garnished, and that I still can't get an account. I understand the Chex system, and the risk of joint accounts, but their must be some kind of workaround.

Awaiting more helpful info!

The banks will be reluctant to trust you again because you put your name on that account which is a way of saying you trusted that person and would answer for her activities. How does a bank know that you won't put another girlfriend on a new account in the future and something similar can happen? Basically, their point of view is going to be, "Why should be trust you when you gave a person access to trying to screw us out of money?"

I do wish you luck with this. I suspect you'll never do a joint account again.

 

[Koing]

Harsh dude

No JOINT ACCOUNT WITH ANYONE...

Good luck with sorting things out.

Koing

 

[Eli]

Wow, lots of paranoid people in here...

What's the big deal about a joint account? lol..

Don't you all trust your significant others? My girlfriend has been on my bank account for a bit now, I don't really see the problem.

Granted, if she ran up a bunch of debit charges without consulting me first(I do the finances), I'd have to lay the smack down, but.....

 

[Colt45]

write a bad cheque
buy a gun
shoot that bitch

 

[merkinofbaphomet]

Originally posted by: Baked
Wait a minute here. So you're gay and my dad plays the female role?

Exactly, son. Exactly.

 

[NFS4]

Originally posted by: Colt45
write a bad cheque
buy a gun
shoot that bitch

Werd

 

[cavemanmoron]

USPS money orders.

 

[rahvin]

As far as the ex goes I would put a fraud warning on your SSN at the credit reporting agencies. As far as getting a bank account have you sat down with a bank manager at a branch and explained the situation? If you have and no bank will touch you then you should consider trying the same thing at a credit union. Basically you need to go up the chain at one of these places and find someone that can override the default policy and get you an account. Heck, start with a savings account with direct deposit of your paycheck wait a month or two then go talk to them about getting a checking account.

As far as the credit cards go you should be able to get a secured card pretty easily, if you need to go get a postal money order or whatever to send them the check to get the secured card. If you hold the secured card for a year or so it shouldn't be a problem getting a legitimate card.

You should also pull your credit report and start getting everything taken off that was your gf and not yourself.

 

[merkinofbaphomet]

The whole "be careful when opening a joint account" thing? I think I've got it!

I'm never going to give another person access to my cash. The next long term relationship I find, we will be keeping our finaces completely seperate.

 

[EagleKeeper]

If your bank is not going to hold you responsible, as them to setup another account for you (in your name only).
Use debit cards until everything is cleaned up.

 

[merkinofbaphomet]

Originally posted by: rahvin
As far as the ex goes I would put a fraud warning on your SSN at the credit reporting agencies. As far as getting a bank account have you sat down with a bank manager at a branch and explained the situation? If you have and no bank will touch you then you should consider trying the same thing at a credit union. Basically you need to go up the chain at one of these places and find someone that can override the default policy and get you an account. Heck, start with a savings account with direct deposit of your paycheck wait a month or two then go talk to them about getting a checking account.

As far as the credit cards go you should be able to get a secured card pretty easily, if you need to go get a postal money order or whatever to send them the check to get the secured card. If you hold the secured card for a year or so it shouldn't be a problem getting a legitimate card.

You should also pull your credit report and start getting everything taken off that was your gf and not yourself.

Rahvin, I am pretty much headed in this direction. I realize I will need to sit down and explain the entire situation and have already put together documentation supporting my claims. I may go to the credit unions first, as they are closer and more convenient.

I just swung by the Anand forums for a little "ammo." Thanks for your help.

 

[merkinofbaphomet]

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
If your bank is not going to hold you responsible, as them to setup another account for you (in your name only).
Use debit cards until everything is cleaned up.

My bank is not holding me responsible, but will not issue a new account until the matter is settled. My debit and cards were through the same bank.

 

[Rudee]

I'm calling shens on this. Nobody is that stupid to have a joint account with a girl whom they are only dating.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: merkinofbaphomet
The whole "be careful when opening a joint account" thing? I think I've got it!

I'm never going to give another person access to my cash. The next long term relationship I find, we will be keeping our finaces completely seperate.

Think about it this way, you cosign someones loan and they default on it.. your credit gets affected too.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Yeah....woman are like condoms. When they're not on your d!ck, they're in your wallet.

 

[NFS4]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Yeah....woman are like condoms. When they're not on your d!ck, they're in your wallet.

:shocked::laugh:

 

[Reckoner]

A bank may allow you to open another account, but most likely under the stipulation that you do not change it to a joint account in the future.

 

[merkinofbaphomet]

OK! OK! Enough with the misogynistic comments. Remember I'm gay... with Baked's dad!

On a serious note. As much as I would like to kill my ex-girlfriend and bury her in the crawl space, I would much rather be able to have a checking account.

If it helps any of you, most of our mutual friends bailed on her, she is losing her apartment, her job is on shaky ground with the constant collections calls and garnishments against her. If she has to go to court, she will lose her professional licenses and have to go back to a menial, service industry job. A few bad checks could mean a speedy end to her entire career. In short, she is getting her just desserts.

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: Baked

Originally posted by: mchammer187

Originally posted by: cobalt
Why oh why would you get a joint account?

QFT

especially since you are are not married

Even if you're married, I wouldn't get a joint account.

My fiancee and I have a joint account. I trust her, she trusts me, neither of us would do such a thing. If in some ungodly, super bizarro dimension she did do that, then I'd simply have to deal with it. It's called taking a risk in a relationship, if you don't take any ever then it's not a very trustworthy relationship.

Petition the checking system and credit agencies to remove your name, and get proof from your bank that the account was closed before she did this, which should absolve you of any guilt in it.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: Eli
Wow, lots of paranoid people in here...

What's the big deal about a joint account? lol..

Don't you all trust your significant others? My girlfriend has been on my bank account for a bit now, I don't really see the problem.

Granted, if she ran up a bunch of debit charges without consulting me first(I do the finances), I'd have to lay the smack down, but.....

agreed. its not the joint account thats the problem, its their judgement of the womans character. but thats hard for some to see when all they think about is dipping the willy in the pink pond.

good luck op. not sure if this would help you any, buy maybe when you talk to another bank, offer to put some money in a savings or some other type of account to use against a secured debit/credit card? maybe even try that with one of the lesser credit card companies to help start rebuilding your financial worth. im ignorant to these types of things, but it may work.

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: Rudee
I'm calling shens on this. Nobody is that stupid to have a joint account with a girl whom they are only dating.

did you read the fing thread

 

[Cal166]

Good luck man, I am in a similar situation but luckily I have two other accounts at other banks.

 

[rahvin]

Originally posted by: Sphexi
My fiancee and I have a joint account. I trust her, she trusts me, neither of us would do such a thing. If in some ungodly, super bizarro dimension she did do that, then I'd simply have to deal with it. It's called taking a risk in a relationship, if you don't take any ever then it's not a very trustworthy relationship.

Half the people posting haven't even dated a women let alone ever been intimate with one. Keep that bag of salt handy when you see coments like the ones you are responding to because a 14-16 year old boy that masturbates 5 times a day and talks high and mighty about what he would and wouldn't do in a relationship (when he's never even been on a date) is half of what you are reading. I hope that gives you a little insight to the posts you read on ATOT.

 

[BlackOmen]

If you're name is not on chexsystems, you should have no problem getting an account. However, since it was a joint account, experience would lead me to beleive that your name is on chexsystems.

If your name is on chexsystems, you're going to have a very hard time getting an account. Again, speaking from professional experience, if your name is indeed on chexsystems, you are labeled as very high risk. The first step is to get the charged off account paid back. Based on how quickly this is done, your name may be removed before the long cooling off period expires.

If you don't have any luck at a bank, try a credit union. Credit unions usually have less stringent guidelines for opening an account.

Good luck.

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: rahvin

Originally posted by: Sphexi
My fiancee and I have a joint account. I trust her, she trusts me, neither of us would do such a thing. If in some ungodly, super bizarro dimension she did do that, then I'd simply have to deal with it. It's called taking a risk in a relationship, if you don't take any ever then it's not a very trustworthy relationship.

Half the people posting haven't even dated a women let alone ever been intimate with one. Keep that bag of salt handy when you see coments like the ones you are responding to because a 14-16 year old boy that masturbates 5 times a day and talks high and mighty about what he would and wouldn't do in a relationship (when he's never even been on a date) is half of what you are reading. I hope that gives you a little insight to the posts you read on ATOT.

I played Earth:2025 for 6 years, 90% of that game is 12 year olds, and people who act like they're 12. I'm used to it by now.