Enjoying the moment ***UPDATE - Court date set, but not good***

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Eli
As for the custody battle, I do not think you need to worry. While it is true that your ex-wife will probably do as you say, you must know that it will not matter. How old is your daughter? Sorry if I missed it.

Your daughter will grow up, and she will make her own conclusions. I think you will find that all the bad mouthing her mother does, will actually turn your daughter against her, with time.. as she sees that they are lies and have no bearing on reality. I know it is extremely concerning in the meantime, but I can almost guarentee you this is what will happen.

Your daughter will always be your daughter, nomatter how far she is away. She is her own person, and once she is old enough to have thought procees of her own(which isn't very old, really), I believe that all will be well.

Do not worry. Hindsight is always 20/20, and you cannot forsee why your life is taking you in the direction that it is.

Yes...never underestimate the capabilities of children.

Last summer, my (now) ex had left and was incredibly bitter and was turning my daughters against me...using them in every way to get back at me. After a couple of months, my oldest realized all of this and started telling me about things she hated seeing in her mom and her mom's family.

It's sad seeing a parent put a child in situations like that.

How old is your daughter? In some states, once they reach the age of 14, they can make their own decision about which parent they want to stay with.

I do wish you the best of luck and offer up the possibility of finding a licensed family counselor and work on shedding that pessimistic aspect of your thinking. And, perhaps, even take your daughter to some sessions, too.

Oh...and I just realized the song playing in my media jukebox while I read this was U2's A Room at the Heartbreak Hotel. :Q

 

[PrinceofWands]

My daughter is 8.

It seems the predominant theme of responses, both here and on other boards, is to discuss it with my friend...which is obvious, but sometimes I overlook the obvious. I think I'll plan some time this weekend to get together with her and talk this through. Thanks loads for all your input and compassion.

As for my pessimism thing, well...I know it should be as simple as just not being one anymore, but somehow I really have trouble doing that...but I'll keep at it as it's become very important to me.

Kristin

 

[notfred]

In my experience, kids hate being moved back and forth between parents all the time. They get treated like property. Kids like to be near their friends. They like to be able to use thier stuff.

If al lthier friends live near thier mom's house, and they've got all thier stuff there, they typically don't want to stay at thier dad's house where they've got no friends, and after school all they can do is watch TV because most everything they own but some clothes is at thier mom's house. The opposite is also true if dad has most of thier stuff.

I think it's better for the kids to live at one place, and not be forced to move every summer, or every two weeks, or however often. The kids lives shouldn't be disrupted for the sake of the parents wating "thier fair share".

 

[emu10k2]

... Bob, that's great. Can you just skip to the end?

'For awhile'

Wow, Bob, that's really deep.

 

[oLLie]

Any updates?

 

[PrinceofWands]

Nothing earth shaking yet. My lawyer was finally contacted by her side; they requested I agree to the move in return for consideration on the new parenting plan. I told them to bite me. So we're off to court sometime soon (haven't got the date yet). I'll be filing for change of primary custody (very little chance but I have to try) in addition to the existing objection to relocation. My lawyer was NOT happy with me. He doesn't believe in right or wrong or justice (obvious given his career choice), he just wants his money and wants everyone to accept society with all it's faults the way it is. Sometimes non-idealists really bug me. 8-(

The 4th of July was the best of my life. Spent the day with my friends and family, and especially with my lady friend in question. Got to kiss again, under the fireworks and stars. Not a bad setting for a second kiss.

I've spent the last 17 days with my daughter (schools out so the visitation changes). Overall it's been really great. We've had more fun than we had in a long time. Tiring of course, single parenting that is. At the same time there's an underlying barb when I think "Is this the last time I'll do this", but it's fleeting. If anything major changes I'll update this post.

 

[PrinceofWands]

Well, small update for any of you who have been following the soap that is my life.

Received notice today that I have a court date on wed july 30th to determine with finality if my daughter moves 3000miles away or not. All our legal maneuverings have failed and we are left with next to no hope. My lawyer places my chances at about 100,000 to 1 to have any place in my daughters life ever again...go american justice system.

I will attend anyway, with the best attitude I, and all the drugs and alcohol in reach, can muster. With this last month being so amazing, and realizing so many life long dreams I honestly do hold out some hope that this will work out.

As always positive energies etc are welcome if you have any to spare. I promise to post the results before I jump off any nearby bridges or single handedly assassinate every judge and lawyer in the 12 surrounding counties.

Peace.

Kristin