Emergency Chinese Manners Question! UPDATE: That was SO NICE!

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Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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I am going to have dinner at my neighbor's house... They are from China, very nice people...

Normally, I take flowers and/or a nice bottle of wine to things like this...

Will I be okay if I just take a nice flower arrangement?

Edit: I just got back... Wow, I am really lucky to have a chance to get to know these people! The husband and wife were both doctors in China and they are so warm and friendly, I just love them. She is the BEST cook... I swear I must have had 6 of her dumplings, 3 of her spring rolls, plus all of the other stuff she cooked! And still she wanted me to eat more. :) I babysit their little girl every day after school, so maybe I can learn how to cook some of that stuff soon.

Anyway, they served wine so I know next time I can take a bottle of wine. I took gourmet chocolate cookies and a blooming houseplant over... I think it was ok. Of course, I wish I had done more (I always do) but since I see them every day I can always find other ways to do nice things. :)

EDIT: Here is one of many links I found about my husband's heritage. Even our beloved and sadly departed Lawton Chiles was PROUD to be a cracker. I guess it is just a Southern thing. :)

Florida Crackers
 
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EmperorNero

Golden Member
Jun 2, 2000
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bring them a keg of beer...that should cheer anyone of any race up :D

EDIT: especially for the irish - so if you want to be really polite, bring them two kegs.
 
kranky

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
Oh, come on, not ANOTHER Chinese manners question! Man, this board is getting predictable. It seems like every other, um, millenium, you can count on this thread showing up. ;)

Sorry I can't help, Isla, but here's a free bump.
 
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Wedesdo

Platinum Member
Jun 5, 2000
2,108
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god! why do ppl think we chinese are different? just do what you normally do!
 
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Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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Wedesdo

I like this family very much and I want to show them my respect and appreciation.

Sure, we are all human and have the same basic needs, but you can't tell me that their customs are not different from mine! I am the type of person who enjoys taking the time and effort to show that I am genuinely interested in them as unique individuals.

Heck, I am a Spanish girl married to a Florida Cracker. Our customs and traditions are VERY different and we both were raised in the same city! I want to show respect for people who A) are my elders (the couple is about 10-15 years older than my husband and I am) and are B) inviting me to dinner.

I didn't think my usual wine/flowers would be the right thing, and I am very grateful that I can come here for advice when I need it.

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate it!

:)
 
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thelanx

Diamond Member
Jul 3, 2000
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Don't be so nervous about these matters. Your neighbors will understand that you're not Chinese and do not know all the customs of Chinese people. If someone from another country comes to you house, you cut them some slack, realizing they are not used to American ways. Your neighbors will do the same thing. Like Windogg said, don't bring white flowers, otherwise you should be fine. Don't worry, and good luck!
 
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Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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abracadabra

I'm confused. What word? Is Florida Cracker a bad word? If it is, then why do we have "Cracker Country" as part of our county fair every year? It's a village showing how Florida was settled.

:confused:

Anyway, I'm off. Thanks for the help!
 
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snut

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,415
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just eat what they tell you too eat, my parents get upset when my friends dont eat what my parents offer them.
 
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WalkingDead

Golden Member
Jul 28, 2000
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A bottle of wine will do.

But not the normal red or white napa vally kind. Depends on what kind of Chinese they're but most oversea Chinese families like French Cognac like Remy Martin or Hennessy. No need to buy the expensive top grade. Low grade in small bottle will be fine & relatively cheap. If you feel like getting a Eastern wine, Chinese wine will do but maybe hard to find & get the right one. Japanese sake is probably better and many Chinese like Japanese plum wine.

hope this help,
 
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Tripleshot

Elite Member
Jan 29, 2000
7,218
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Of course, I wish I had done more (I always do) but since I see them every day I can always find other ways to do nice things.


Your husband is a very lucky man to have such a thoughtful and considerate wife.:)
 
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eyor

Banned
Feb 7, 2000
1,641
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<<<Emergency Chinese Manners Question>>>

Okay, just remember, in case of an emergency just dial 911. Even if they are Chinese.

Oh... I'm too late.

Well, sounds like you had a good time, Isla! Was it a *white* flowering house plant, though? ;)
 
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RGN

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2000
6,623
6
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hmmm, first time I've seen the word 'cracker' used here... That is d@mn funny. I've always thought it should be used more. ;)


oh, and I are one :)
 
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Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
7,749
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Supergroove

Get over yourself already! I had no idea I was stepping on such sensitive toes here.

Frankly, I appreciate it when others go to enough trouble to learn about me and my culture and customs to make the effort at understanding and relating to me.

If you ever need advice on Hispanic/Latin customs, you may feel FREE to ask me. I would NEVER be offended by someone who sought to understand my traditions. I will do my best to help anyone in need.

Maybe no one ever taught you manners?

:p

Edit: RGN... Is Cracker a bad word? I didn't think it was because we have Cracker Country at our fair every year. My husband really is one... got the cattle ranch in the family to prove it! :D
 
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Windogg

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,241
0
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Glad it turned out well. I admire your gesture to learn about other cultures. Xenophobia is for the narrowminded.

Windogg
 
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SuperGroove

Diamond Member
Dec 17, 1999
3,347
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<< Maybe no one ever taught you manners? >>



Maybe.


Maybe I don't like it when people start to assume how people with different cultural backgrounds would react. I don't like it when those guests dumb down their english. I don't like it when they start speaking really quickly and quietly so as to make their conversation between themselves private right in front of my parents and I.

I have no sense of manners whatsoever. I'm Asian, doesn't that qualify me as rude in the real world?

Edit: At least you respected them. More editing.


/me cleans off mud from carpet.
 
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Windogg

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,241
0
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Isla was not asking the question because she was going to act differently. I feel she asked because she wanted to be polite. There is nothing wrong with wanted to be a good guest. It's no diffrent than when I asked my Jewish friends how to act in temple when attending a Bar Mitzvah. I;m sure I would have been forgiven if I made a mistake but being prepared shows that you respect your hosts.

Windogg
 
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