Embarrassment?

[gramboh]

I had the same feeling when I started, I'm 5'10 and was about 220 with pathetic strength. I think I started with 85 on bench and it took me forever to get 135 for reps. I felt like I should be able to lift and do more.

The biggest thing that helped me gain confidence was actually having a set program with meaningful structure to follow. For me it happened to be Stronglifts.com 5x5 while reading Starting Strength. Once you start adding weight every week and notice your body getting stronger and looking stronger you won't give a shit about anyone else in the gym. Now I go in confidently knowing what I want to achieve. People look at me funny for doing things like deadlifts (the new University gym I'm at since moving is literally all people doing 6 variations of curls every day and maybe some bench/incline) but who cares.

I've been doing this program since late March and have made quite good progress, although not as much as I've wanted, but that's the best part, you continue to work toward goals and feel good about it.

Good luck.

Edit: Just wanted to say, really commit to this for a few months, don't expect miracle results in a few weeks (although some changes are possible). I'd say find a program you like and do it for 3 months minimum.

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: BeauJangles
I couldn't even bench 95 lbs when I started

i may not have been able to either honestly now that I think about it.

i do remember when i hit 135lbs it was like a milestone heh.

I'm pretty sure I couldn't do 40kg either!

Koing

 

[Scarpozzi]

I never understood why people get embarrassed in the gym. You're there working out to make yourself stronger. Everybody is different and will have different abilities.

I'm 6'4" and do not benchpress on a regular basis simply because my arms are a lot longer. I've seen guys that can lift over 300lbs easy, but they're 5'1" and only have to move the weight about 8 inches to complete a rep.

My advice is to think of the result when you work out and concentrate on what you're doing. You shouldn't be paying attention to those around you in the gym unless she's really good looking.

 

[RagingBITCH]

You all start somewhere. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Just get in there and do it...you'll improve with time.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I never understood why people get embarrassed in the gym. You're there working out to make yourself stronger. Everybody is different and will have different abilities.

I'm 6'4" and do not benchpress on a regular basis simply because my arms are a lot longer. I've seen guys that can lift over 300lbs easy, but they're 5'1" and only have to move the weight about 8 inches to complete a rep.

My advice is to think of the result when you work out and concentrate on what you're doing. You shouldn't be paying attention to those around you in the gym unless she's really good looking.

lol that is the lamest excuse i've ever heard for not bench pressing regularly.

 

[presidentender]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I never understood why people get embarrassed in the gym. You're there working out to make yourself stronger. Everybody is different and will have different abilities.

I'm 6'4" and do not benchpress on a regular basis simply because my arms are a lot longer. I've seen guys that can lift over 300lbs easy, but they're 5'1" and only have to move the weight about 8 inches to complete a rep.

My advice is to think of the result when you work out and concentrate on what you're doing. You shouldn't be paying attention to those around you in the gym unless she's really good looking.

lol that is the lamest excuse i've ever heard for not bench pressing regularly.

I'm 6' tall. I weigh 150; the most I've ever weighed is 160. My arms' span is longer than my height. I have a narrow chest and shoulders. Suffice it to say, I am built wrong for bench press.

I still bench. I can do it regularly. I can still make progress. I just start from a lower place than most. "Can't" do it is a bunch of crap. You're hurting yourself.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: presidentender

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I never understood why people get embarrassed in the gym. You're there working out to make yourself stronger. Everybody is different and will have different abilities.

I'm 6'4" and do not benchpress on a regular basis simply because my arms are a lot longer. I've seen guys that can lift over 300lbs easy, but they're 5'1" and only have to move the weight about 8 inches to complete a rep.

My advice is to think of the result when you work out and concentrate on what you're doing. You shouldn't be paying attention to those around you in the gym unless she's really good looking.

lol that is the lamest excuse i've ever heard for not bench pressing regularly.

I'm 6' tall. I weigh 150; the most I've ever weighed is 160. My arms' span is longer than my height. I have a narrow chest and shoulders. Suffice it to say, I am built wrong for bench press.

I still bench. I can do it regularly. I can still make progress. I just start from a lower place than most. "Can't" do it is a bunch of crap. You're hurting yourself.

yea i'm 5'11 and i weighed like 150 when i started lifting in college, and my arm span is also a lot larger than others. i can almost touch the side of my knees when standing regularly and have been given the nickname "monkey arms" when playing basketball growing up.

still doesn't hinder progress. sure you have to move the weight over more distance, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to build up size. my shoulders are by far my most dominant muscle in my body, and my chest has built up to match it pretty well.

when i started benching i could hardly probably even do 95lbs. then i remember my milestone at 135lbs. now my goal over winter is to get 315lbs just 1 rep. most i did last winter when i was bulking was 285lbs 1x, and it was pretty damn easy.

 

[Oyeve]

Im 5'10" and 42 years old. Back in senior year in HS I suffered the opposite. I weighed 95 lbs and was teased to no end. I ate a pint of haagen daaz a day for a year and it put on 135 lbs. So now I was 230 lbs. Started working out on heavy weights and got to a point that I was benching 300lbs. I stopped eating the ice cream but I couldnt get the weight off. I managed to get to 220 lbs all solid muscle and played football in college. Then I got into swimming and running and to this day I still swim, run and mountainbike a lot and have managed to maintain my weight to 180-190 and although I am shortish (5'10" is not tall) I look fit and most people are shocked when I say I am in my 40s and weigh nearly 200lbs. Most of my muscle is in my thighs so its not always veiwable.

 

[kalrith]

Originally posted by: presidentender

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I never understood why people get embarrassed in the gym. You're there working out to make yourself stronger. Everybody is different and will have different abilities.

I'm 6'4" and do not benchpress on a regular basis simply because my arms are a lot longer. I've seen guys that can lift over 300lbs easy, but they're 5'1" and only have to move the weight about 8 inches to complete a rep.

My advice is to think of the result when you work out and concentrate on what you're doing. You shouldn't be paying attention to those around you in the gym unless she's really good looking.

lol that is the lamest excuse i've ever heard for not bench pressing regularly.

I'm 6' tall. I weigh 150; the most I've ever weighed is 160. My arms' span is longer than my height. I have a narrow chest and shoulders. Suffice it to say, I am built wrong for bench press.

I still bench. I can do it regularly. I can still make progress. I just start from a lower place than most. "Can't" do it is a bunch of crap. You're hurting yourself.

Same here. My bench press is the weakest exercise for me, but that makes me want to work on it MORE rather than less.

And OP, you need a good dose of self confidence and caring more about what you want for yourself and less about what others may or may not be thinking. Not going to the gym because you don't think you can lift enough is a paradox that will never get you anywhere. You have to go work out on a regular basis to be able to lift more.

 

[oddyager]

Originally posted by: TallBill
When I first tried a few times in my teenage years I felt worthless in the gym. Not necessarily embarrassed but just incredibly weak. When I started in my 20's I didn't give a shit about others.

That pretty much sums it up. OP, don't look at the other folks in the gym and compare yourself. More than likely these people have been going for months, YEARS. Your focus should be only on yourself. Your goal is all about you wanting to get better and feel better but that is going to require some work, dedication and perseverance.

When I started I could barely bench more than some of the women in my gym (I had two 10 lb weights on both sides). Obviously it felt a little embarrassing but it served as motivation. There was absolutely no way I'm going to lift that for the rest of my life. Now I'm doing sets of 10 with 245 (it took me about 2 years to get to that weight level).

 

[M0oG0oGaiPan]

just don't be the guy that does curls in the cage and no one will care. most people are either totally focused on their workout, focused on a hot piece of ass, or don't know what the hell they're doing.

there was a guy in the gym the other day and he was doing what was pretty much handstand pushups on the pull up bar. that was pretty bad ass. i'm pretty sure that's something i'll never have the balls to do.

 

[rasczak]

when I was in high school, i went to our gym regularly. I was so embarrassed that i couldn't bench 85lbs that I stopped doing upper body exercises altogether. OTOH, I absolutely loved squats, and at 16 was able to squat 305lbs. I wished I had stayed with the bench as I defintely would have gained strength. The point I'm trying to make is don't make the same mistake I did and let embarrassment hinder your productivity. Just focus on the things you want to get better at and eventually you'll find yourself looking at a whole new person.

 

[imported_EmreNU]

I'm 6'5" and 210lbs with a developed lower body due to running and basketball but pretty much no upper body, except broad shoulders. When I finally decided to hit the gym seriously about four months ago I found that I was only slightly embarrassed about my lack of strength. I had a 12-week plan ready and knew exactly how much I should lift. It was more important to me that I saw progress than how much I could lift initially.

You'll gradually gain confidence and feel like you "fit in" after a few weeks. I didn't feel like I looked noticeably more muscular until about 8 weeks in when a couple people took notice. Now about 16 weeks in I can easily tell upper body differences. Keep at it and don't worry about what other people may think. If anything, if they see you in the hitting the weights regularly they'll respect you for your commitment.

For encouragement: I wanted to be able to easily bench 135 (45s on each side) because I thought it looked badass to have the large weights on the bar. In about 12 weeks I was able to do that and damn it felt good. I've had little goals like that and it's kept me motivated. Also, the longer you keep up a regular workout the easier it will be to maintain you motivation.

Btw, I'm 24 and like another poster said, unlike in my teens, now I don't give a shit what others think

 

[nixium]

I never felt embarrassed, but I did get psyched out a bunch of times. Like this once - I was at the gym using the bench press machine and felt happy at hitting 140 (a 45 and a 25 on each side). Then this guy build like an ox comes up when I'm done, and removes the 25 to put another 45. So I'm happy - hey, looks like I'm pretty close to what he was lifting. It was a warm up set, and he added 2 more 45s.. then kept doing it till he had like 5 x 45 on EACH SIDE.

I knew he could pull more than 180, but I'd no idea how much higher he would go to... but I figured he's doing that after years of body building. Still, it made me realize how far I'd to go...

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: presidentender

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I never understood why people get embarrassed in the gym. You're there working out to make yourself stronger. Everybody is different and will have different abilities.

I'm 6'4" and do not benchpress on a regular basis simply because my arms are a lot longer. I've seen guys that can lift over 300lbs easy, but they're 5'1" and only have to move the weight about 8 inches to complete a rep.

My advice is to think of the result when you work out and concentrate on what you're doing. You shouldn't be paying attention to those around you in the gym unless she's really good looking.

lol that is the lamest excuse i've ever heard for not bench pressing regularly.

I'm 6' tall. I weigh 150; the most I've ever weighed is 160. My arms' span is longer than my height. I have a narrow chest and shoulders. Suffice it to say, I am built wrong for bench press.

I still bench. I can do it regularly. I can still make progress. I just start from a lower place than most. "Can't" do it is a bunch of crap. You're hurting yourself.

How is he hurting himself if he doesn't BP that often? I hardly ever BP and it's probably the least exercise I have done in the past 8yrs of training. Weighted dips to a full ROM are a great exercise.

Any of you guys ever BP on a cambered bar? The bar's handles are lower then the middle so you can go deeper in the BP. Cool exercise.

Koing

 

[thetechman]

When I first started I was at a college gym as a freshman. I always just tried to leave my ego outside of the gym. No one is going to judge you. Trust me. If anything you get more respect for showing up. Just keep going and you will see the results and you will be hooked. Good Luck.

 

[yelo333]

Originally posted by: M0oG0oGaiPan
just don't be the guy that does curls in the cage and no one will care. most people are either totally focused on their workout, focused on a hot piece of ass, or don't know what the hell they're doing.

there was a guy in the gym the other day and he was doing what was pretty much handstand pushups on the pull up bar. that was pretty bad ass. i'm pretty sure that's something i'll never have the balls to do.

Woah, need more info on this. Didn't happen to be one of the things on beastskills, did it?

 

[M0oG0oGaiPan]

Originally posted by: yelo333

Originally posted by: M0oG0oGaiPan
just don't be the guy that does curls in the cage and no one will care. most people are either totally focused on their workout, focused on a hot piece of ass, or don't know what the hell they're doing.

there was a guy in the gym the other day and he was doing what was pretty much handstand pushups on the pull up bar. that was pretty bad ass. i'm pretty sure that's something i'll never have the balls to do.

Woah, need more info on this. Didn't happen to be one of the things on beastskills, did it?

I was actually looking for that site a few weeks ago. Thanks! This would be the closest thing I could see to what the guy was doing. This guy was basically grabbing the pull up bar and flipping his legs up into a handstand. And then he would do pushups. Everyone was like wtf. It's pretty freaky considering I have to jump up to reach the pull up bars so I could just picture the guy getting fatigued and just falling off the tower.

It's a similar station to this one: http://www.pro-fitness.com/pho..._crossover_machine.jpg

 

[Sad Clown]

People go to the gym for so many reasons. A lot of those reasons don't even have much to do with fitness in general.

I started lifting when I was 19 and I was a total fatass who had never touched any weights but was naturally strong. I spent the first year in the gym doing every exercise immaginable wrong. While I didn't hurt myself too badly, I never really grew either. I would get angry and frustrated after my workouts because I wasn't getting stronger or bigger or losing any fat.

During that first year I spent a lot of time watching others train. I really focused on their technique. I began to make friendships with people and we talked about lifting weights. A lot of these guys were "old timers", 40+ years old but in awesome shape. A lot of them did steroids too when they were in their 20's and the first thing they told me was to not go near the stuff.

Going into my second year everything changed for me. For the first time ever, I looked at my diet and made a conscious effort to change my eating habits. I started from scratch on all of my workout routines and totally rebuilt the way I work out and how I work out.

It was also during this time that working out became a totally new experience for me. Gone were the days of frustration, gone were the temper tantrums. Instead it became a truly soul cleansing experience and I would walk out of the gym feeling rejuvinated every time.

I am now 27 years old and have been lifting on and off for close to 8 years now. The best way to describe my workouts these days are like a yoga session on the weights. My mind is totally clear and I move around like I am in a trance not really paying attention to anything around me but the exercise right in front of me. I consistently lift a lot more weight then everyone else in the gym on every exercise. But I could care less about that. What matters to me is that for the most part I have great technique and I will always step down the weight if I feel my technique is hurting.

These days people come up to me and congratulate me on the stuff I do in the gym. I could honestly care less as I don't do it for them and I always reply that what I do doesn't matter if my technique isn't what it should be. I also tell them the amount of weight you are pushing is not an accomplishment, atleast not for me. I am more proud of being a professional who is good at what he does at work then being able to lift a bazillion pounds.

The thing that I am personally most proud of, is that I can say without any shadow of a doubt that when I am in the gym lifting, I am loving it more then anyone else in there. Not because I am moving weight, not because people look at me, but because the act itself gives me so much pleasure. I never get bored on the weights and actually move around quite slowly from exercise to exercise so I can easily burn 2-3 hours on a session.

I understand that you are trying to change yourself. But I ask that you learn to love lifting if you ever want to get true satisfaction from it. It wont happen immediately, but if you go in with the right attitude you will find that it can be one of the most satisfying things in the world to do. I know that some of the highs I have felt after walking out of the gym has felt better then any orgasm, drink, or jackpot I have ever won in my life.

I don't go out friday nights or saturday nights because I want to be in the gym at 7 in the morning the next day. I love it that much.

I also suggest you go in there with a friendly attitude. While some people will be d*ckheads no matter what you say or do, most people are pretty cool once you get to know them. The best people to get in with first are the older folks in the gym as they are pretty comfortable with themselves and will always be more then likely to give you a helping hand when you need it. Stay away from the young turds who go in there looking for something to prove.

I wish you luck in this, as I feel that it can be one of the most satisfying things in the world to do if you do it with the right intentions and the right attitude.

Good luck!

 

[EGGO]

I remember back when I could only bench with 25 lbs. on each side.