Embarrassment?

[thecoolnessrune]

I'm 19... I'm 205lbs. I'm overweight, but still have a decent amount of muscle to make up for that thank god..

What did you guys do when you started seriously training?

When everyone around you can lift more than you can, curl more than you can, bench more than you can..

When they can run farther than you can, and when you try to train your damn asthma stops you.

I'm tired of "saying" i want to be better.. I want to BE better.. I dont want a rippling six back or deadlifting 400lbs..

But I want to be able to run a mile and not fall out half a mile in.
I want to be able to lift like my peers do.
I want my SO to have a man she can be proud of.

I'm working on the calories thing. I'm cutting off about 400 calories a day from my food intake. But that does me little good if I dont have any muscle there..

How did you guys feel about it when you guys first started? I wish I could say "meh, i dont sweat it" But I've always had a twin brother who's 30lbs. less than me (he's also an inch shorter, arms are 3 inches shorter so on and so forth). But I've gone my whole life with us being separated by "pudgier cheeks". And now people call it "fatter cheeks" I'm tired of it. I dont say it hurts but anymore it really does.. I'm tired of being compared to my brother like this.

I realise I can never be as small as him, but at least let me have something else to compare us by than my damn cheeks.

To prepare for a workout, is there any supplements you guys tend to get to aid things? I have a muscle that a tore in my neck from K5, it bugs me to this day (these past couple of days it "pops" there a couple times a day). Is that going to limit some of the things i can do..

Is this embarrassment normal? How can I overcome this.. I'm sick of the person I am.. They always say just be "you" but I'm tired of the physical "me". I want to be better.

 

[coldmeat]

I just started lifting seriously recently as well. I am 6'1 200lbs (no muscle) and know what it's like to be embarrassed about not being fit at the gym. It makes it easier for me to just think that at least I'm at the gym trying to make things different. I think most people there have gone through it once as well.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: coldmeat
I just started lifting seriously recently as well. I am 6'1 200lbs (no muscle) and know what it's like to be embarrassed about not being fit at the gym. It makes it easier for me to just think that at least I'm at the gym trying to make things different. I think most people there have gone through it once as well.

Hell I can't even do but 1 or 2 pullups or pushups.. I'm 6'3" but I just dont have the strength like my peers do.. And at times I feel I'm alright.. Then someone tells me how I have "pudgier" cheeks than my brother and that feeling comes back all over again. I'm so sick and tired of it. But I can't get by just losing weight.. I have to gain muscle too.. Which is why I'm trying everything I can to make this effort work and keep it that way.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Also, what do you guys do about weight training? A lot of places require a spotter.. But I don't have anyone to be my spotter. Do you guys ever just ask some random guy to be your spotter?

 

[coldmeat]

I can't do a pullup either so don't feel so bad. I can do pushups however. As for spotters, if I don't have a friend there, I just work out with a weight that I am comfortable with.

 

[njdevilsfan87]

It takes a while... I rarely go the gym because of lack of time, but there was a semester freshman year where I went every day (now 3 years ago). I gained a lot of definition that semester. These days if I go to the gym (the one time I may go in a month), the moment the pump kicks in, I actually look like someone that could be there on a more regular basis.

But I'm definitely in not as good shape I once was. In 7th grade my best mile was 6:20, and now at the age of 21, I'm at about the 7 minute mark. I'd like to blame hauling around more weight, but I've got a longer stride. But... it's just so damn boring. It's not so much the pain in exercise, it's just the straight boredom of it.

But from my point of view... when I actually see someone starting out, instead of thinking how "weak" they are, I just think "good for them". Not sure how others think... but I hope that helps.

 

[TallBill]

When I first tried a few times in my teenage years I felt worthless in the gym. Not necessarily embarrassed but just incredibly weak. When I started in my 20's I didn't give a shit about others.

 

[irishScott]

Why be embarrassed? I actually respect out of shape people in the gym. Like many things, working out is a lot harder to start than it is to continue. Well, it can be as hard as you like at that point I guess, but the beginning is always hard.

Who cares what the heavies think? If you want to compete with them fine, but I seriously doubt they care, so why should you?

You want to be able to run a mile non-stop? Get up in the morning, and go run a mile+. Rinse and repeat until you can run a mile without stopping. It's not that complicated really. Once you get a routine down it's just that thing you do.

I had a hard time starting a solid push-up routine. Now it's just the thing I do when I roll out bed.

 

[brikis98]

Get over it. There will ALWAYS be someone stronger, faster and in better shape than you. That's life. But unless you're doing some kind of competitive sport, that should be of no concern to you. You are only competing against yourself and so long as you are making progress at whatever activity, then keep it up. It doesn't matter if you added 10lbs to a 100lbs bench press or to a 300lbs bench press. Progress is progress.

Also, if you really want to whip your ass into shape, look into Crossfit. 6-12 months of this and you'll be the guy others are jealous of - and not just in one activity, but across the board. Running, jumping, olympic weightlifting, powerlifting, gymnastics, etc. Just follow the workouts of the day and see the incredible results. However, remember to start slow, read their entire FAQ, and scale the workouts way down in the beginning. Good luck.

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
Also, what do you guys do about weight training? A lot of places require a spotter.. But I don't have anyone to be my spotter. Do you guys ever just ask some random guy to be your spotter?

You don't need a spotter if your lifting within your limits and using okay weights. You should be lifting within your limits for the first 3months and not pushing too heavy a weight.

Start with 12reps x 3sets on all exercises to build a solid base for 3months. Then start cutting downt he reps: 8reps x 4sets for 2-3months, 6reps x 5sets for 2months. Your body will be much better prepared now that your going heavier.

Ask someone to spot on the exercises that really need it. The bench press is definately one to spot if your pushing heavy weights or reps that yoru not going to get. You can push out an extra 1-2reps with a spot. Iw oudl not advise that without a spot. Stop 1-2reps before failure. It isn't ideal but you do what you can mate.

I never felt embarressed. I use to be skinny when I was 15 but I was always athletic. I ran for the track team and was in the various teams. I was just skinny.

I lifted sod all. I couldn't do 10 push ups but I could do 10 pull ups and I was a complete beginner. I had strong legs and I trained solo style for a year, got a gym buddy later on and did another 6months with him. Met my weightlifting coach and have been lifting, competiting and coaching others since for the past 8yrs now. I have a moderately good physique but I'm all about OLifting

Just keep at it. Don't let others get to you and after you have put in a solid 12-24months you'll be a lot better. You have to be as consistent as possible. A few missed session is no big deal, but missing for 3months isn't good!

2yrs ago a skinny guy came down to the gym wanting to get 'massive'. Now he competes in Olympic lifting and has a much better physique. His peers (16-17yr olds) are busy ignoring squats and deadlifts and he is hammering them and will be in seriously great shape once he has another 2-3yrs gym time

Koing

 

[KoolDrew]

I actually find it more motivating when people around me are better than me. When I worked out at my high school gym and I was the strongest one there, there was no drive to improve. The only movement I wasn't strongest in was bench, as most high school guys train the bench exclusively. Nobody could squat or deadlift close to what I could. It felt good to have people watch in amazement while I deadlifted 500, but I never made much progress when I worked out there. When I work out around people who take lifting seriously and are stronger than me, I make much better progress.

And trust me... nobody's going to look at you and think you shouldn't be there or something stupid like that. I respect everybody who goes to the gym and gives an effort to improve.

 

[wwswimming]

the trick is finding a sport that provides a workout that you REALLY
enjoy that is easy to get to. - so that you can do it almost every day.

could be walking, lifting, tennis, surfing - or a combination. something
that makes you SWEAT (e.g. walking uphill wearing a ski parka),
where each workout is an hour+.

 

[polarmystery]

Do not give up! 4 year ago I started working out skinny as a twig (6'1" @150lbs) and I got up to 210lbs in two years time. I couldn't even bench 95lbs at that time, now I'm up to 245. I've dropped back down to 185lbs since then but the key is to go and workout even when you don't want to. I flew solo for a few years but I kept at it. Don't give up!

 

[TallBill]

Originally posted by: wwswimming
the trick is finding a sport that provides a workout that you REALLY
enjoy that is easy to get to. - so that you can do it almost every day.

could be walking, lifting, tennis, surfing - or a combination. something
that makes you SWEAT (e.g. walking uphill wearing a ski parka),
where each workout is an hour+.

Yes, weightlifting.

 

[BeauJangles]

1) Fuck the other people. Seriously. Fuck 'em. 90% of the people who go to those types of gyms don't know how to lift and aren't interesting being stronger -- they just want to look stronger. Once you get into lifting you'll starting see how stupid most of these people are; they'll get done deadlifting 350 lbs and they'll be clutching their backs and talking about how they can "really feel it." Yeah, feel themselves herniating a disk.

(to be fair, this is a generalization.)

2) Ignore the other people. If you want to get stronger all you need is a power rack, a bench, a bar, and weights. Buy yourself a copy of Starting Strength and read it. Even if you don't do a SS-style program, you'll learn the real mechanics of the most crucial lifts: bench, deadlift, squat, OHP, and power clean.

3) Start small. Even if you want to be able to bench your bodyweight, you need to check your ego at the door. If you can only bench 55 lbs, squat 90 lbs, and deadlift 90 then that's your starting place. Don't think "oh, well I better put another 10 lbs on here because otherwise people will think I'm a pussy." That mentality leads to injury or early stalling.

4) If you do try an SS-style program, the only lift you might want a spot on is the bench press. Asking someone is no big deal. Corollary: get a cheapo digital camera and post videos of your lifts (either here or elsewhere). Read forums where people post videos and get critiqued. The more you analyze other people's technique, the better yours will become. I wouldn't bother asking most people at gyms about lifting because most of them are clueless.

5) As for a routine, stick to the old KISS principle (keep it simple, stupid). Starting Strength or 5x5 Stronglifts is designed for a guy like you. These programs will help you push more weight faster and better than other program out there and they only require about 3 hours per week of time. Add in some running on off days, and you'll be transformed before you know it.

 

[conorvansmack]

Fuck the other people. Seriously. Fuck 'em.

A bit harsh, but correct nonetheless. Your motivation comes from yourself and the people you care about. You have to get in the mindset that the gym is a training place, not a social club. Every gym has it's share of dicks, but they also have helpful people there. If you need a spotter an can't find someone that you feel comfortable asking, see if someone who works there will spot you. Like some of the other guys have said, work within yourself and you will likely not need a spotter for a while.

StrongLiftshas been a very useful site for me. It has technique instructions and videos.

As far as goals, I'd avoid setting goals that are relative to other people. If you choose numbers or accomplishments, that seems to work better and you won't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others.

 

[purbeast0]

heh when i started lifting i could hardly bench 95lbs. i didn't really care, you gotta start somewhere.

 

[state 08]

Originally posted by: purbeast0
heh when i started lifting i could hardly bench 95lbs. i didn't really care, you gotta start somewhere.

Haha same here...

when I started lifting, i didnt really have any structure at all. I'd just go there, and do a little of this and a little of that. Whatever I felt like doing that day (which was mostly bench, and free weights using the dumbells). This was in January, and I remember benching 95 was a struggle.

 

[Riverhound777]

Yeah, don't worry about it. If you start reading up and trying to do lifts correctly, you'll find most people in the gym have no idea what they are doing. My fav was on Tuesday when I was watching a guy on leg press with 8 plates on each side going down about 3 inches and then back up. He also had his hands on his knees helping to push up. I couldn't help but laugh. I went back to my squats on the power rack with a measly 185 and felt perfectly fine with it.

 

[BeauJangles]

Originally posted by: conorvansmack

Fuck the other people. Seriously. Fuck 'em.

A bit harsh, but correct nonetheless. Your motivation comes from yourself and the people you care about. You have to get in the mindset that the gym is a training place, not a social club. Every gym has it's share of dicks, but they also have helpful people there. If you need a spotter an can't find someone that you feel comfortable asking, see if someone who works there will spot you. Like some of the other guys have said, work within yourself and you will likely not need a spotter for a while.

StrongLiftshas been a very useful site for me. It has technique instructions and videos.

As far as goals, I'd avoid setting goals that are relative to other people. If you choose numbers or accomplishments, that seems to work better and you won't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others.

I had the same problem as the OP -- "OMG people are going to laugh at me!" I woke up one day, and that's the first phrase that went through my head. Since then, I don't care if people look at me funny or whatever... it matters that I'm pushing myself as hard as I can.

Starting Crossfit was probably one of the most humbling things I've ever done. Looking at these guys (and girls) who absolutely decimate my level of performance is humbling, but what I love about the gym I belong to is that even if I'm the last guy and I'm lifting / doing a trimmed down version of the workout, people are still there encouraging you and pushing you.

heh when i started lifting i could hardly bench 95lbs. i didn't really care, you gotta start somewhere.

I couldn't even bench 95 lbs when I started

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: BeauJangles
I couldn't even bench 95 lbs when I started

i may not have been able to either honestly now that I think about it.

i do remember when i hit 135lbs it was like a milestone heh.

 

[CKent]

You have to start somewhere, there's no way around lifting to get where you want to be. Thinking about how most guys in the gym were at that point once as well may help you, otherwise shut it out and employ tunnelvision. Whatever you do, don't try to do too much weight to fit in or feel better about yourself. On top of risking injury, your workouts won't be as good and your goals will take longer to achieve.

 

[imported_Imp]

I don't go to a gym. When I started, the only 'public' workout activity I did was running, and yes I was embarassed. The only time I was comfortable doing it was at night. Reason? I could barely run 300m before having to completely keel over. After I started doing a minimum of 2km, I started doing it in the day time, and just stopped giving a shit what people thought. You just grow out of it.

 

[TecHNooB]

Let's talk diet! I was 220lbs at my fattest. I slimmed down to 160lbs (currently 180lbs however). And let me tell you.. dieting.. can be very easy! Key word is can. Eat a lot of boneless skinless chicken breast and fish. Whenever you're hungry, have some. Limit your carbs (1 bowl of rice or equivalent per day). Have a mass carb weekend (eat whatever clean carbs you want!) This still means no cake, but you can have plenty of wheat speghetti (my personal favorite) I don't know about fat count. People say you need xx grams of fat but I just accept whatever I get from eating meat and move on. Fish pills would not hurt tho. Stay away from cooking oils and sugar. Drink plenty of water. You can easily lose 5 lbs per month. By no means starve yourself. Just gobble down some meat whenever you're hungry (this includes night time). If you're dying for carbs, just remember this; having less carbs will allow you to have more protein, which means more meat, which is always a win. Good luck!

 

[MetalMat]

Everybody has got to start somewhere, I would not worry bout it.