Dumb question on extreme political views
- Thread starter SaltBoy
- Start date
A Tale of Two Cows:
---------------------------
CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
MICROSOFT: You buy the rights to two cows. You 'upgrade' them until they're bloated, unproductive and will only survive on MicrosoftFeed (tm). The milk they give can only be drunk from MicrosoftCups (tm) - Annoyingly, they keep getting a virus and dying.
APPLE: You have two cows. They're translucent! You can see all the guts and stuff. The cows cost more than other cows, but goddamn if they aren't the best-looking cows around.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows, but the milkmaid charges too much to milk them. You sell both cows, lay off the milkmaid, and move to mexico, where you can buy 100 cows and 20 milkmaids with the money and export it back to the States.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take your cows
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are an eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you're not sure where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.
SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have two cows. You load them up with explosives and herd them onto your neighbor's property where you blow them up. Your neighbor dies. You starve to death.
FREE AGENT: You have two cows. Despite the constant attention you pay them, there are frequent dry spells during which they don't give milk.
PINK SLIPPER: You have two cows. Suddenly they become a liability and you're forced to sell them on Ebay to pay your exorbitant rent.
DOT-COMMER: You have two cows. A week later you have two thousand cows. A week later you have none.
ENTREPRENEUR: You have two cows. You develop and launch tucows.com.
VENTURE CAPITALIST: You have two cows. You give them to the entrepreneur (see above).
CEO: You think you have two cows. You actually have two sheep, but no one's got the guts to tell you.
ANGEL INVESTOR: You have two cows. You give one to a start-up. The cow produces no milk. You exercise your exit option and get your cow back.
START-UP: You have two cows; your press release describes that as an IPO fast track.
START-UP II v2: You have two cows and 20 million in funding. publicly you promise 50 million gallons a year within two years, but privately you're still debating where the udders are and what they do.
DESIGNER: You have two cows. You move the udders to the side and paint them fluorescent yellow, hoping that will make the milking process more intuitive and fun.
PROGRAMMER: You have two cows. One keeps tipping over, yet nobody is pushing it. The other fails to yield any milk, despite being in good health. You spend nearly every waking minute trying to determine what is wrong with your cows and fixing them.
FILE SHARERS: You have two cows. You share clones of them with all the other herders in the pasture. The courts order the pasture closed for violating the copyright laws.
3D ARTISTS: We make our cows from scratch. They do what we want.
OPEN SOURCE: You have two cows. You invite other herders to improve your cows. You have two cows that are better than before.
GEORGE W. BUSH: One of your daddy's friends gives you two cows ...
NATIVE AMERICAN: You don't own two cows.
BUDDHIST: You are two cows.
ZEN: There are no cows.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
---------------------------
CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
MICROSOFT: You buy the rights to two cows. You 'upgrade' them until they're bloated, unproductive and will only survive on MicrosoftFeed (tm). The milk they give can only be drunk from MicrosoftCups (tm) - Annoyingly, they keep getting a virus and dying.
APPLE: You have two cows. They're translucent! You can see all the guts and stuff. The cows cost more than other cows, but goddamn if they aren't the best-looking cows around.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows, but the milkmaid charges too much to milk them. You sell both cows, lay off the milkmaid, and move to mexico, where you can buy 100 cows and 20 milkmaids with the money and export it back to the States.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take your cows
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are an eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you're not sure where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.
SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have two cows. You load them up with explosives and herd them onto your neighbor's property where you blow them up. Your neighbor dies. You starve to death.
FREE AGENT: You have two cows. Despite the constant attention you pay them, there are frequent dry spells during which they don't give milk.
PINK SLIPPER: You have two cows. Suddenly they become a liability and you're forced to sell them on Ebay to pay your exorbitant rent.
DOT-COMMER: You have two cows. A week later you have two thousand cows. A week later you have none.
ENTREPRENEUR: You have two cows. You develop and launch tucows.com.
VENTURE CAPITALIST: You have two cows. You give them to the entrepreneur (see above).
CEO: You think you have two cows. You actually have two sheep, but no one's got the guts to tell you.
ANGEL INVESTOR: You have two cows. You give one to a start-up. The cow produces no milk. You exercise your exit option and get your cow back.
START-UP: You have two cows; your press release describes that as an IPO fast track.
START-UP II v2: You have two cows and 20 million in funding. publicly you promise 50 million gallons a year within two years, but privately you're still debating where the udders are and what they do.
DESIGNER: You have two cows. You move the udders to the side and paint them fluorescent yellow, hoping that will make the milking process more intuitive and fun.
PROGRAMMER: You have two cows. One keeps tipping over, yet nobody is pushing it. The other fails to yield any milk, despite being in good health. You spend nearly every waking minute trying to determine what is wrong with your cows and fixing them.
FILE SHARERS: You have two cows. You share clones of them with all the other herders in the pasture. The courts order the pasture closed for violating the copyright laws.
3D ARTISTS: We make our cows from scratch. They do what we want.
OPEN SOURCE: You have two cows. You invite other herders to improve your cows. You have two cows that are better than before.
GEORGE W. BUSH: One of your daddy's friends gives you two cows ...
NATIVE AMERICAN: You don't own two cows.
BUDDHIST: You are two cows.
ZEN: There are no cows.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
I dont know if you can term ultra right and ultra left into political ideologies.
I would say they are better described as reactionary and revolutionary.
I would say they are better described as reactionary and revolutionary.
trenchfoot
Lifer
- Aug 5, 2000
- 15,882
- 8,463
- 136
I would say that ultra-liberal = libertarian or anarchist. Ultra-leftist or ultra-socialist = communist.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
Ultra-leftist would be anarchists, there is nothing anarchist about right wing free market libertarinism, (Anarcho-capitalism) it is authoritarism fascism regardless, but defining the counter culture into the mainstream is a well known ploy of the right.
Corportism is another word for fascism, a right-wing ideology. Either way you cut it the end is the same.
Left wing anarchism that has actually fought wars and has political parties unlike the immature concepts of ayn rand wanna bes cowering under the guise of libertarians since the republican party has sold them out.
For example left wing anarchists were the first one to spot fascism as a serious threat across the world and fought hitler almost a decade before ww2 got started.
Radical left wing ideaologies have there own problems (Red Brigades) but they usually are the ones who can spot their eternal enemy first, the right-wing fascists when they rear their ugly authoritarian head.
I have always thought the farthest wings of the parties have their place to keep the moderate minded moving, but one taking control totally is trouble.
We all should be dreamers to an extent, but we all must realize that there are many people out there that see liberty in different shades, regardless, when it comes down to it the left tries to relieve the pains of the world, while the right offers war and cultural elitism and the old ways, its a matter of moving forward or hiding in a past that never really existed.
I am one for moving forward and adapting, this is why the left will always march forward and the right only can ankle bite when something they can fear people about happens, this is all their religions and morals of the "old" ways can offer in the end, fear and guilt.
And fear is a huge motivator to lie, steal, cheat and try to protect a idea that never was.
Originally posted by: tweaker2
sorry jimkyser, i had to amend that line in the name of historical accuracy.
That's fine. It's just a somewhat satirical summary that I remember seeing when I was in school, years ago. Like back when GW Bush was still thinking about flying fighter jets. When the OP posted his question I was reminded of it and had to do a quick google search to find it.
Nice example, Steeplerot. Thanks that was excellent! I bet you helped the OP very well with a real-world example of a left-wing extremist...
Now maybe if we could get Dissipate in here for ultra-liberal...and Zendari for ultra-conservative we'd have a trifecta
Now maybe if we could get Dissipate in here for ultra-liberal...and Zendari for ultra-conservative we'd have a trifecta
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
Funny, it seems to be you in the minority nowdays, right-wing extremism and neocon corpratism is the old-school extremism, welcome to being marganilzed.
You had your moments in the spotlight and fvcked it up royally, you think you would have got a few evil liberals in the "showers" again, but you didnt. You and your ideaology you espouse is a failure.
Dont worry when the popularist platforms of todays socialists fail to materialize, and the people realize this, you to will be marginalized.
It hasnt failed yet.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
Heh, my beliefs have always been marganilized since I have been alive, I have nothing to lose, and know popularity would be a death warrant, so I have nothing to lose, I am but a observer laughing at another far right failure, shame I never got a chance to fight against it like my own grandad did in ww2 against your ilk. But then the past will never be popular enough to hold ground for long, we still live in a great country, at least for now. And the right will always fail when they use tactics like fear and disinformation.
All radical ideaologies not based in reality of the people are destined to be a footnote, neoconservatism being the big one now.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
This coming from the tool pimping a american flag sucking up to the system, you are a laugh riot. Your flag, your war, your president are failures, like you. And its all our fault for letting idiots like you run the show when you show you cannot wrap your head around civil society and freedom for your dreams of dictatorships and corporate fascism.
Ahh yes because we all know when it comes to election year politics, it is the neo-cons and republicans who tell Poor people they will be starving in the streets if you dont elect us, or tell blacks segregation will be back and they will be back in the cotton fields working for the white man, or telling granny she will be tossed out on the street and have her estate taken away.
Those silly republicans.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
Well, that is the results of standing behing radical right wing regimes, third world insanity, and yes, people do die on the streets old people are looking at hitting the gutters again if you had your way and blacks (and the rest of us) would be slaves to corporations as long as you had a stock option or 2 to profit off of, total sleeze.
Silly, no. Misguided have-nots sucking up to the have-mores, sure thing.
At least you can admit your fear mongering is alive and kicking.
Such a sad display to see a person actually believe it however.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
Maybe if you climbed out of fantasy world you would see what the rest of us do, this is why people tell you all to TRAVEL some. You would be quite surprised at the mess we are in outside of your cradle of ignorance.
When dealing with the fact somebody realizes the crap they spew, simply tell the other person they are ignorant because they havent traveled. What a sound basis of argument you present on a daily basis.
Now if you want to get back to talking about the topic at hand which was your fearmongering and scapegoating it should provide for some good entertainment.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
Aww, I m sure the P&N crowd are upset by not being one of OT crowd flaming one another over how much pvssy they dont get.
Don't like it, link is above to return where you came from.
Steeplerot
Lifer
- Mar 29, 2004
- 13,051
- 6
- 81
You know, when someone who suppossedly loves america hears something from so many other americans tries to clue you in, you would think you would get the point, but then you seem to me like another fool stuck in his hometown to breed and die, your fatalist idealogies just reflect your dead end life stuck becoming another dumbass like your parents.
No desire to spread your wings and learn about your world, typical.
Another washup whining about taxes and war, why exactly do you all live?
Oh yeah, we are animals, I forget sometimes, some people will never leave the monkey behind w/ the trees.
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