when anyone knocks on my door my (big) dog starts barking like crazy.. so I open the door, hold the dog back and usually they are so taken a back they just ask if theres anyone availible to talk to and I say no.
do companies/organizations actually think this works anyway?
the only thing i've ever bought were the candy bars the little hockey kids sell
the only thing i've ever bought were the candy bars the little hockey kids sell
nakedfrog
No Lifer
- Apr 3, 2001
- 63,074
- 19,391
- 136
"When in doubt..." 
Actually, we had a Kirby salesman come to the house last year while I was at work, and the GF warned him that I wasn't likely to be to keen on his presence. So I got home and this jackass walks up and starts trying to give me his high pressure bit (which has the exact opposite effect on me) and yadda-yadda, something about "you can't afford ten dollars a month?" to which I replied "Oh, I'd pay ten dollars," he said "A month?" and I said "No."
He got pissed and left. I revelled in satisfaction at sending him away pissed off.
Actually, we had a Kirby salesman come to the house last year while I was at work, and the GF warned him that I wasn't likely to be to keen on his presence. So I got home and this jackass walks up and starts trying to give me his high pressure bit (which has the exact opposite effect on me) and yadda-yadda, something about "you can't afford ten dollars a month?" to which I replied "Oh, I'd pay ten dollars," he said "A month?" and I said "No."
He got pissed and left. I revelled in satisfaction at sending him away pissed off.
Paint a pentagram with a permanent marker above your manhood and answer the door naked. If budget is no problem, buy and use multiple colors and sniff them individually to take the experience to a more enjoyable level.
HumblePie
Lifer
- Oct 30, 2000
- 14,665
- 440
- 126
If it's a cute girl of legal age selling something.. I use some bad sexual reference.
"Sure I'll buy your magazines if you give me butt secks first."
If it's a kid,
"Sorry, I'm broke this month, try the annoying bastard in the apartment next door, he's loaded so don't give up until you walk away selling half your sh!t."
If it's anyone else,
"Sure, I got something for you..."
I reach into my pocket.
I pull out my middle finger.
"Use it to sit and spin."
Then shut the door when they walk away.
"Sure I'll buy your magazines if you give me butt secks first."
If it's a kid,
"Sorry, I'm broke this month, try the annoying bastard in the apartment next door, he's loaded so don't give up until you walk away selling half your sh!t."
If it's anyone else,
"Sure, I got something for you..."
I reach into my pocket.
I pull out my middle finger.
"Use it to sit and spin."
Then shut the door when they walk away.
I like you
About two years ago my wife let one of those Kurby turds in the house. I was upstairs talking to hot chicks online when I hear some guy's voice downstairs. I come down and some runt gangbanger is showing my wife a vacuum cleaner that could suck snot from 20 yards away. I don't even understand how this guy got to our neighborhood... we live about 50 miles from the nearest ghetto, but I guess his company gave him a van to drive, so whatever.
My wife is pretty compassionate... she'll humor people just to be polite. Well, I was in sales when I was in college and I hated it when people "humored" me... So rather than waste everyone's time I just come down the stairs and say "look, we appreciate the demo, but we're not in the market for a $2000 vacuum cleaner. As you can see by looking around you, vacuuming isn't real high up on our list of priorities."
We had just had our son (who's now two and a half), and he was starting to get fussy. Oh, by the way, this is at 6:00PM ON A SUNDAY. In all fairness, I had a chip on my shoulder before the guy even knew I was behind him... Salespeople have no business bothering families during the final hours of the weekend.
"This vacuum cleaner is only $1,299 and it does this and that and blahbidifsckingblah"
"Sorry. Our $50 vacuum cleaner does all we need it to. Thanks for your time."
The guy starts getting pushy, and literally, for the next half hour it's everything we can do to try to rid ourselves of this guy. We've got a screaming kid and some punk that won't get out of our house. By now it's about 6:30 and I decide to just put an end to it.
"Look, sir, we've listened to you. We're not interested. We've asked you to leave. Show us the same respect - in our home - as we've shown you. Please collect your things and leave. It's Sunday night and we have things to do."
"Well can I at least have a glass of water"
This incensed me. You really had to hear the way he said it and the look on his arrogant face.
"GET THE F--- OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
This startled him... I'm not a real imposing guy (6', 185lbs), but I got pretty enraged by this. He was a fairly small guy (5'8", 145lbs... MAYBE) and I could tell that he was scaring my wife a bit. It's not normal for someone not to leave your home when you ask them to. Repeatedly.
But behold, as I start to square off with the guy:
"How much would you be willing to pay for this vacuum cleaner? Don't you want your family to have a nice clean floor?"
I start grabbing his stuff and throwing it out onto my front yard. One box of crap hit his van.
"If you don't get the fsck out of my house I'm going to call the cops and beat the sh1t out of you while we wait!!!"
I never saw a guy move that fast. He left tracks on our driveway (seriously). The next morning I called the closest Kurby dealership I could find to complain but they didn't give a crap. I told them their salesman almost got himself beaten to a pulp and that when they're told to leave, they need to leave... but they couldn't have cared less.
My wife said she'd never seen me that ticked off before... I swear I haven't felt rage like that ever... I was ready to rip this guy limb from limb. I've never been so insulted and my family disrespected like that... IN OUR OWN HOME no less. My wife later told me how he got it:
A girl, about 17 years old, knocked on the door and offered to do an "air freshness test". My wife said ok. The girl said she'd be right back. About a minute later the door opened, but the girl was gone and it was this degenerate salesperson. I told my wife she should have called me right down then and there, but whatever. Pretty shady tactics.
So here's a rule for you salespeople out there: A man's house is his castle and his family is all he cares about. If a situation escalates to the point where he's flat-out telling you to leave, it's time for you to RUN.
halik
Lifer
- Oct 10, 2000
- 25,696
- 1
- 81
some of these stories are hilarious....
We only get random kids from some community college once in a while, selling magazines at my parents house. I just tell 'em I've been college 4 years now, which means that I have no money and my parents aren't willing to spend any more money on me ...
Last thing I'm gonna do is buy some stuff from a salesman. Yeah,
i read fatwallet forums and do online research & comparison shopping before buying ANYTHING, so I'm definitely gonna buy this *whatever* because this dude is telling me its a great deal. Kirby might as well sell sh!t from a white van
We only get random kids from some community college once in a while, selling magazines at my parents house. I just tell 'em I've been college 4 years now, which means that I have no money and my parents aren't willing to spend any more money on me ...
Last thing I'm gonna do is buy some stuff from a salesman. Yeah,
i read fatwallet forums and do online research & comparison shopping before buying ANYTHING, so I'm definitely gonna buy this *whatever* because this dude is telling me its a great deal. Kirby might as well sell sh!t from a white van
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 23K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter