does it bother you when your wife doesnt want to work?

[aries2k1]

little backstory first...im in the military stationed overseas, we got married a couple months before we moved. we got government housing, utilities, and food already payed for. so the only thing we have to pay for is internet, car payments, and insurance...

weve been here for 6 months, and shes still doin the same things since the day she got here. at first it didnt bother me...since she did leave her family and home to be with me, but my main concern is that shes gonna bore herself to death and then therell be problems with our relationship. i have talked to her about job openings on base but all she replies is "i'll work when im ready..." wth...isnt 7 months without work a long time already...or shell reply that someone has to be home to take care of our 6 month old puppy. im not tellin her to work 5 days a week, 9-5...just somethin to keep her occupied, maybe 10-20 hrs a week. we get into little arguments about whose turn it is to clean up the puppy's piss...she'll complain that shes been cleanin up after him all day or that shes tired from walkin him outside... -_- ...if only i can throw a water bottle at her...ive been bustin my ass wakin up before the sun gets up and coming home after the sun goes down and she gots the nerve to say shes tired....

all said aside...i do love her a lot and she is a carin person..usually but i just want her to be busy...

thanx for listenin..

 

[cjgallen]

Get her pregnant, that'll keep her loyal and dependent on you. LOL, that's what my dad did to my mom when he was in the Army :laugh:

 

[DainBramaged]

Link

 

[zendari]

Tell her you will work "whenever you are ready" as well. If she isn't working fulltime, she should pick up the slack on the housework.

 

[Yossarian]

she sounds lazy. you should dump her sorry ass.

 

[notfred]

If I were in your situation, it wouldn't bother me IF I came home to a spotless house and a hot meal every day.

But she's complaining about the puppy? WTF? She does nothing else, it should ALWAYS be her turn to clean up after the damn dog.

 

[Adica]

Do you want her to work for financial reasons? It sounds as though that is not the case.

She does not want to work, so suggest to her to volunteer, or go to some classes or to

take up a hobby. It seems to me that very soon she will become bored with her routine

life, and cleaning up puppy piss all day. Believe me, this will indeed take a toll on your

marraige. You need to come up with something quick before she turns depressed and

lazy. SAVE HER! ...(and you)

 

[edi sucks]

maybe i'm a pushover but i'd say let her do what makes her happy...i can't imagine someone wanting to sit at home willingly, but whatever.

 

[alkemyst]

It really depends on the situation.

In your case I am sure she likes being surrounded by friends on the base. That would cause me a problem just from my own knowledge what I'd do with that.

My wife is working 8 hours a day in a crappy job. She won't apply to the jobs that my family and I have dropped at her feet (doubling her pay scale, she is not making minimun wage, but in Japan she made $7k USD a month....)

She is a coward. That said, it's up to me to decide if I am accepting it or not. I think though, it may be her decision when I buy a house (I am looking now) and she is not on the loan or deeds.

The funny part is I worked from home before, making way more than her, but she said it was a lazy job....no benefits, etc...so I went back to private sector on the statement once I got a better job, then she would....that was over a year ago....I just recieved a $5,200 raise. Her job causes me aggravation, she will get scheduled to show up at 5:30am with a phone call at 10pm and accepts it.

I think my own agreement that she pays $300 a month is working against me. Considering her health is $104, vision is $3, dental is $17, I pay her cell phone $52, car insurance of about $100, and $300 in groceries a month...add in rent, electric, the phone/cable, etc she is costing me more than she contributes to live here.

So the bottom line is if you are not happy with it you must do something. I think when I buy a house without her she may see the light.

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
It really depends on the situation.

In your case I am sure she likes being surrounded by friends on the base. That would cause me a problem just from my own knowledge what I'd do with that.

My wife is working 8 hours a day in a crappy job. She won't apply to the jobs that my family and I have dropped at her feet (doubling her pay scale, she is not making minimun wage, but in Japan she made $7k USD a month....)

She is a coward. That said, it's up to me to decide if I am accepting it or not. I think though, it may be her decision when I buy a house (I am looking now) and she is not on the loan or deeds.

The funny part is I worked from home before, making way more than her, but she said it was a lazy job....no benefits, etc...so I went back to private sector on the statement once I got a better job, then she would....that was over a year ago....I just recieved a $5,200 raise. Her job causes me aggravation, she will get scheduled to show up at 5:30am with a phone call at 10pm and accepts it.

I think my own agreement that she pays $300 a month is working against me. Considering her health is $104, vision is $3, dental is $17, I pay her cell phone $52, car insurance of about $100, and $300 in groceries a month...add in rent, electric, the phone/cable, etc she is costing me more than she contributes to live here.

So the bottom line is if you are not happy with it you must do something. I think when I buy a house without her she may see the light.

you sound like you treat your marriage as a business transaction.

 

[The Stigenator]

let me guess you guys are both under 25, more so about 21/22.. if so this is VERY usual among women in the military. You sure she not cheating on you??

 

[PhlashFoto]

Originally posted by: Yossarian

Originally posted by: alkemyst
It really depends on the situation.

In your case I am sure she likes being surrounded by friends on the base. That would cause me a problem just from my own knowledge what I'd do with that.

My wife is working 8 hours a day in a crappy job. She won't apply to the jobs that my family and I have dropped at her feet (doubling her pay scale, she is not making minimun wage, but in Japan she made $7k USD a month....)

She is a coward. That said, it's up to me to decide if I am accepting it or not. I think though, it may be her decision when I buy a house (I am looking now) and she is not on the loan or deeds.

The funny part is I worked from home before, making way more than her, but she said it was a lazy job....no benefits, etc...so I went back to private sector on the statement once I got a better job, then she would....that was over a year ago....I just recieved a $5,200 raise. Her job causes me aggravation, she will get scheduled to show up at 5:30am with a phone call at 10pm and accepts it.

I think my own agreement that she pays $300 a month is working against me. Considering her health is $104, vision is $3, dental is $17, I pay her cell phone $52, car insurance of about $100, and $300 in groceries a month...add in rent, electric, the phone/cable, etc she is costing me more than she contributes to live here.

So the bottom line is if you are not happy with it you must do something. I think when I buy a house without her she may see the light.

you sound like you treat your marriage as a business transaction.

Or are you the pimp?

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: Adica
Do you want her to work for financial reasons? It sounds as though that is not the case.

She does not want to work, so suggest to her to volunteer, or go to some classes or to take up a hobby. It seems to me that very soon she will become bored with her routine life, and cleaning up puppy piss all day. Believe me, this will indeed take a toll on your marraige. You need to come up with something quick before she turns depressed and lazy. SAVE HER! ...(and you)

There is wisdom in this.

Don't force her or anything, but let her know that you encourage her getting out and having interests outside of just you, the puppy, and the house. Let her know that you're not asking her to find work because you want her to "pull her own weight" or anything like that, but because you're worried that she might not be fully enjoying herself stuck in a house all day.

ZV

 

[xaeniac]

that would bother me personally. She needs to get a J-O-B or be comitted to being a full time house wife and I mean FULL time; cleaning house and cooking for 8 hrs a day grow some balls and be the man of the house; communication is very important in a marriage let her know how you feel

 

[m2kewl]

honestly - yes it does. i'm not marrying a homemaker.

she better get a job or no marriage. if her ass is sitting home all day, i'd rather be single and support myself.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Volunteer work sounds good!

 

[brigden]

I'm sorry, but your wife sounds like a bitch.

 

[shilala]

Originally posted by: Yossarian
she sounds lazy. you should dump her sorry ass.

I'll second that.

 

[yllus]

Don't mean to plant unnecessary seeds, but I'd start to wonder why she wants to keep her day free.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: brigden
I'm sorry, but your wife sounds like a bitch.

:thumbsup: we realize we dont know her personally, but any woman who would complain like that is simply put, a b!tch.

 

[m2kewl]

Originally posted by: yllus
Don't mean to plant unnecessary seeds, but I'd start to wonder why she wants to keep her day free.

set up a webcam!! if she's honestly not going to do anything, your wife's going to put on some pounds...you don't want that, eh.

 

[KarenMarie]

Is the house clean? Is everything else taken care of? It is not working... or not having a job outside the home. I know that sounds feminazi and i dont mean too. recently, i stopped being an earner. I do not bring any money into the house. But i work. I cook, clean, take care of 10 cats and run the b/f's business. That is work... but not considered a job. So, I ask...when you say she will not work... do you mean that she will not do anything or that she will not get a paid job outside the home?

But I agree with many of the posters on the board about having something to get out of the house for. with VeggieFrog gone and the b/f working all the time... it gets boring, dull and depressive to be home all the time... and it starts a horrible cycle.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Yossarian

you sound like you treat your marriage as a business transaction.

hmm it's a partnership. I can get sex easy if that's what you are going at.

I look to be married to build a life better than I can do alone and if I need someone to help me they'd be there.

What's your marriage like?

 

[Last Rezort]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Link

LOL

 

[QuitBanningMe]

I personally loved bored stay at home military wives........