Do you think it's acceptable to hide things from others on your computer?

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Shelly21

Originally posted by: Red

Originally posted by: spidey07



the point is if a SO disapproves she wouldn't be my SO anymore. your SO is supposed to accept you for who you are...NOT change you into what she/he wants you to be.







That leads to seriously messed up relationships/marriages.

Soo.. if your SO didn't approve of your porn addiction, you'd dump him/her? Is it that serious of an issue for you or her? I think most relationships fail because people like yourself are too selfish anymore to either change your habits or adjust yourself to your SO because your stubborn / greedy / unwilling to compromise.

Compromise is what probably will happen.



either:

1. no more relationship due to porn.

2. guy stop watching porn or pretend to stop to please the girl. (he changes or lying about changes)

3. girl agrees to let guy watch porn. (she changes)



You guys who will divorce your wife if she doesn't like your porn? Maybe it will happen in the beginning, but after you invested so much into the relationship? something's gotta give. Not saying the guy or the girl should change, it's up to the couple to deal with this.

Forced change breeds resentment and will ultimately undermine the relationship. You can't compromise fundamental differences away.

which is why you dump them if there is a problem like she says "you must stop watching porn". These things should come out early in a relationship. And you're dead on about forced change breeds resentment. I think I've dumped about 7 women who got all bent out of shape over porn...then they go crying to their woman friends over what went wrong...of course women friends told them "you can't tell a guy to stop fantasizing about women, that's what they do"

c'mon...what's next? A woman saying don't masturbate?

The point is I wouldn't be married to such a controling woman as one that would say "don't watch porn." She would be denying a man's most basic need and when needs are denied or witheld the relationship is doomed.

 

[Shelly21]

The point is I wouldn't be married to such a controling woman as one that would say "don't watch porn." She would be denying a man's most basic need and when needs are denied or witheld the relationship is doomed.

Porn is a man's most basic need? What if she provides sex frequently like a good wife should be doing?

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Shelly21

The point is I wouldn't be married to such a controling woman as one that would say "don't watch porn." She would be denying a man's most basic need and when needs are denied or witheld the relationship is doomed.

Porn is a man's most basic need? What if she provides sex frequently like a good wife should be doing?

there's still the fantasy aspect and a man's need to "plant his seed with multiple partners" Porn enables that without a man looking outside the marriage.

 

[Mallow]

Would everyone tell their spouse all their passwords and all family business? Probably not. There are things you aren't going to tell your spouse... just the way it is. Granted, it should be kept to a minimum.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: Red
Looks like a couple of threads have surfaced about sig. others finding AIM convo's, porn, and other things that people did not want them to see.

Maybe it's just me, but don't you think you're in the wrong by hiding something? If you want to watch porn or engage in AIM coversations with other females/males, then tell your sig. other you are doing so and deal with it at that point. If they don't want you to watch porn or engage in conversations with other people, then either tell them to fvck off and deal with it, or stop hiding things from them.

Hiding things is basically lying IMHO.

Things like porn and that I agree with. But not conversations in general. Not everyone communicates in the same way and often we shape our words to fit our audience in order that they might understand. When words tailored to the understanding of one audience are read by an audience that needs a different phrasing to understand the same thoughts and feelings, misunderstandings occur, and when that happens it can be explosive. It's a long, hard process to explain why the words are different when one was trying to express the same thing and can lead to much tension in a relationship.

ZV

 

[Shelly21]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Shelly21

The point is I wouldn't be married to such a controling woman as one that would say "don't watch porn." She would be denying a man's most basic need and when needs are denied or witheld the relationship is doomed.

Porn is a man's most basic need? What if she provides sex frequently like a good wife should be doing?

there's still the fantasy aspect and a man's need to "plant his seed with multiple partners" Porn enables that without a man looking outside the marriage.

Fair enough.

 

[agnitrate]

Originally posted by: Red

Fat little parasite,
suck me dry.

my friends are bruised and borrowed
you thieving bastard you have
turned my blood cold and bitter

beaten my compassion black and blue

hope this is what you wanted,
hope this is what you had in mind,
because this is what you're getting

i hope you're choking, i hope you choke on this

-silver

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Shelly21

The point is I wouldn't be married to such a controling woman as one that would say "don't watch porn." She would be denying a man's most basic need and when needs are denied or witheld the relationship is doomed.

Porn is a man's most basic need? What if she provides sex frequently like a good wife should be doing?

like a good wife should be doing? whoa this is not the 50's

me and my wife have sex every time we can. But with having a 2 year old, her working 40 hours a week, me working well about 10 a week, but taking care of the baby, house etc. we really don't have much time. Even when we have time we sometimes do not have the energy to have sex.

My wife knows i download porn. heck she even looks at some of it with me. At least with porn she knows I'm not going to go cheat and get aids or get a women knocked up.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Originally posted by: minendo
It's my computer. No one else uses it so I don't have to hide anything. Nor do I have anything worth hiding.

Same here ..

 

[PELarson]

Originally posted by: Red
Hiding things is basically lying IMHO.

You sound like the little old ladies from New England, "If you don't have anything to hide why are your curtains closed."

 

[Geekbabe]

I'm of 2 minds on this issue.There's nothing wrong with appreciating beautiful women,there's nothing wrong with the occasional use of a visual aid/masterbation and getting all bent out of shape over a partner's discrete enjoyment of such is a waste of time and counter productive.OTOH,the current trend of constantly hunting for and hoarding gigs and gig of porn and bashing your woman if she dares voice her concern,her worries or her hurt strikes me as equally wrong.

I know of more than one woman who's marriage/live in relationship is pretty much DOA due to excessive porn/cybering by their partners,these guys are too tired to have sex,too tired to go out and do things with their families,too tired to do anything much except express increasing dissatisfaction with their partner's physical appearance and surf the web for newer stimuli and thrills.There's something really wrong when one person is lying in bed yearning for some physical intimacy and the other partner is locked in the den having sex with 2D images night after night.


Chatting with a friend? fine,harmless flirtation?it adds some spice to life,discrete,solo porn viewing/self pleasure that's great too.

Cybering with some cam ho,that's not ok with me,openly,crudely hitting on women in front of me is not ok and neither is using so much online porn that my sexual needs within the relationship don't get met.


It's all about discretion,moderation and consideration..on BOTH sides of the fence.