"You know, parents are the same, no matter time nor place
They don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
So tell you other kids all across the land
There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand
I remember one year, my mom took me school shoppin'
It was me, my brother, my mom, oh my pop
And my little sister all hopped in the car
We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall
My mom started buggin' with the clothes she chose
I didn't say nothin' at first, I just turned up my nose
She said, 'What's wrong, the shirt costs twenty dollars'
I said, 'Mom, This shirt is plaid, with a butterfly collar'
The next half hour was the same old thing
My mother buyin' me clothes from 1963
And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
I asked her for Adidas, and she bought me Zips!
I said, 'Mom, what are you doin'? You'll ruin my rep'
She said, 'You're only 16, you don't have a rep yet'
I said, 'Mom, let's put these clothes back, please'
She said, 'No. You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show'
I said, 'This isn't shinin' armor, c'mon mom, I'm not bousers
Mom, please put back the bell bottom, Brady Bunch trousers
But if you don't want to I can live with that, but
You've gotta put back the double-knit, reversible slacks'
She wasn't with it, everything stayed the same
Inevitably, the first day of school came
I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick
But my mom said, 'No, no way, Uh-uh. Forget it'
There was nothin' I could do. I tried to relax
I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
And when I walked in to school, it was just as I thought
The kids were crackin' up, laughin' at the clothes mom bought
And those who weren't laughin' still had a ball
'Cuz they were pointing and whistling as I walked down the hall
I got home and told my mom how my day went
She said, 'If they were laughin' you don't need 'em, cuz they're not good friends'
For the next six hours I tried to explain to my mom
That I was gonna have to go to just about 200 more times
So tell you other kids all across the land
There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand
Ok...Here's the situation...My parents went away on a week's vacation
And, they left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Do they mind? Mmm, well, of course not!
I'll just take it for a little spin, and maybe show it off to a couple of friends
I'll just cruise it 'round the neighborhood
Well, maybe I shouldn't...Yeah!...Of course I should!
Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
And that's when I saw this beautiful girly-girl walkin'
I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talkin'
You shoulda seen this girls bodily dimensions
I honked my horn, just to get her attention
She said, 'Was that for me?'
I said, 'Yeah'
She said, 'Why?'
I said, 'Come on and take a ride with a hell of a guy'
She said, 'How do I know you're not sick
You could be some deranged lunatic'
I said, 'Come on, toots. My name is the Prince
Besides, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?'
She agreed, and we were on our way
She was lookin' very good, so was I, I must say, WORD!
We hit McDonalds, pulled up to the driveway
We ordered two Big Macs, and two large fries and Cokes
She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
She said, 'Drive fast, speed turns me on'
She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
We almost got whiplash, we took off so fast
The sun roof was open, the music was high
And this girl's hand was thoroughly moving up my thigh
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car
We're doin' ninety in my mom's new Porsche
And to make this long story short, short
When the cop pulled me over, I was scared as hell
I said, 'I don't have a license, but I drive very well, officer!'
I almost had a heart-attack that day
Come to find out the girl was a 12 year old runaway!
I was arrested, the car was impounded
There was no way for me to avoid being grounded
My parents had to come off from vacation and get me
I'd rather be in jail, than to have my father hit me
My parents walked in and I got my grip
I said, 'Uh...mom, dad...How was your trip?!'
They didn't speak, I said, 'I wanna play my case'
But my father just shoved me in the car by my face
That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived it
They took turns...one would beat me while the other was drivin'!
I can't believe it! I just made a mistake
Well, parents are the same, no matter time nor place
So tell you other kids all across the land
Take it from me, parents just don't understand"
And of course...
"Now I have a story that I'd like to tell
About this guy you all know he had me scared as hell
He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed
He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred
He wears the same hat and sweater every single day
And even if it's hot outside he wears it anyway
He's home when I'm awake but he shows up when I sleep
I can't believe that there's a nightmare on my street
It was a Saturday evening if I remember it right
And we had just gotten back off tour last night
So the gang and I thought that it would be groovy
If we summoned up the posse and done rushed the movie
I got Angie Jeff got Tina
Ready Rock got some girl I'd never seen in my life
That was all right because the lady was chill
Then we dipped to the theater set to ill buggin cold havin a ball
Somethin about Elm st. was the movie we saw
The way it started was decent you know nuthin real fancy
About this homeboy named fred and this girl named nancy
But word when it was over I said yo that was def
And everything seemed all right when we left
But when I got home and laid down to sleep
That began the nightmare, but on my street
It was burning in my room like an oven
My bed soaked with sweat And man I was bugging
I checked the clock and it stopped at 12:30
It had melted it was so darn hot And I was thirsty
I wanted something cool to quench my thirst
I thought to myself yo this heaters the worst
But when I got downstairs I noticed something was wrong
I was home all alone but the tv was on
I thought nothin off it as I grabbed the remote
I pushed the power button and then I almost choked
When I heard this awful voice coming from behind It said,"You got my favorite letter but now you must die
Man, I ain't even wait to see who it was Broke inside my drawers and screamed, "So long, cuz"
Got halfway up the block I calmed down and stopped screaming Then thought, "Oh, I get it, I must be dreaming"
I strolled back home with a grin on my grill I think that since this is a dream I might as well get ill
I walked in the house, the Big Bad Fresh Prince
But Freddy killed all that noise real quick
he grabbed me by my neck and said "Here's what we'll do We gotta lotta work here, me and you The souls of your friends you and I will claim You've got the body and I've got the brain"
I said, "Yo Fred I think you got me all wrong I ain't partners with nobody with nails that long
Look, I'll be honest man, this team won't work The girls won't be on you, Fred, your face is all burnt"
Fred got mad and his head started steaming
But I thought what the hell im only dreamin
I said please leave Fred so I can get some sleep
But give me a call maybe we'll hang out next week
I patted him on the shoulder, said "thanks for stopping by"
then I opened up the door and said "take care guy"
he got mad, drew back his arm, and slashed my shirt
I laughed at first, then thought, "hold up, that hurt" It wasn't a dream, man, this guy was for real
I said, "Freddy, uh, pal, there's been an awful mistake here"
No further words and then I darted upstairs
Crashed through my door then jumped on my bed
Pulled the covers up over my head And said, "Oh please do something with Fred"
He jumped on my bed, went through the covers with his claws
Tried to get me, but my alarm went off And then silence
It was a whole new day I thought, "Huh, I wasn't scared of him anyway"
Until I noticed those rips in my sheets
And that was proof that there had been a nightmare on my street
FP: Oh man, I gotta call Jeff, I gotta call Jeff Come on, come on Come on Jeff, answer Come on, man
JJ: Hello?
FP: Jeff, this is Prince, man Jeff, wake up, Jeff, wake up
JJ: What do you want?
FP: Jeff, wake up, man, listen to me, Jeff
JJ: It's three o'clock in the morning, what do you want?
FP: Jeff, Jeff, would you listen to me? Listen, whatever you do, don't fall asleep
JJ: Man
FP: Jeff, listen to me, don't go to sleep, Jeff
JJ: look, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm gong to bed Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! (Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa)
FP: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Answer me, Jeff! I'm your D.J. now, Princey! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa "
Mark