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Do women really say that?

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<< just &quot;slug&quot; 'em with my &quot;bat&quot; for a little while and all is forgotten >>


As long as it isnt a case of 'three strokes and you're out' that is a fine idea 😉
 
pulse8 - 9 innings ? 😀

--------------------

As for me I just say to my husband, 'PMS pls dont talk to me for another 3 days' and it eliminates the need for saying all of the above.
 
Woman: Do you think I'm fat?
Man: No, you are beautiful, honey.
Woman: *whine* why are you lying! you're just saying that!
Man: Honey, you are beautiful. Sexy in fact..lets make love.
Woman: LIAR! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!
 
Kassy: do you think I am fat ?
Hubby: what do you think ?
Kassy: no I am asking YOU
Hubby: yes you are fat, I love the way your arse spills over the chair when you sit down for dinner. I enjoy watching your double chin shake when you laugh. Thats why I married you.

Ask a dumb question get a dumb answer is my husbands theory on life.
I only asked the question once.
 
Here is the way out of the &quot;Am I fat question&quot;

woman: Am I fat?
Man: You're not fat, you are healthy, and I like my women healthy.

End of discussion.
 
I learned to just hide in my bedroom after I come home from work and let my 3 boys in to complain and plead their cases to me.....The Almighty Apellate Court that can occassionally overturn a mommy verdict. It's safer that way. And when the Mommy Court rule gets upset with the Almight Apellate court, there's ICQ to hand down further explanations of the rulings. Verbal communications are very dangerous with women. Much easier to have written communications or grunt like a caveman when sex is needed.
 
You wake up in the morning, and the very first words you say to that love of your life are:

&quot;Honey, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the things I am going to do today that piss you off. I am sorry for all the things I DON'T do today that piss you off. I am sorry for all the things I am going to say today that piss you off. I am sorry for all of the things that I am NOT going to say that will piss you off. Goshdarn it, I am just sorry.&quot;

Then you kiss her and go forth into the day, confident that you can be a total asshole with impunity.
 


<< &quot;Honey, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the things I am going to do today that piss you off. I am sorry for all the things I DON'T do today that piss you off. I am sorry for all the things I am going to say today that piss you off. I am sorry for all of the things that I am NOT going to say that will piss you off. Goshdarn it, I am just sorry.&quot; >>



LMAO - I like that.
 


<< You wake up in the morning, and the very first words you say to that love of your life are:

&quot;Honey, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the things I am going to do today that piss you off. I am sorry for all the things I DON'T do today that piss you off. I am sorry for all the things I am going to say today that piss you off. I am sorry for all of the things that I am NOT going to say that will piss you off. Goshdarn it, I am just sorry.&quot; >>

Yeah, how about no. Sounds like a good idea though. But it's not something I'd do.



<< Then you kiss her and go forth into the day, confident that you can be a total asshole with impunity. >>

Eh...I think I'll go with no on that one to.
 


<< Kassy: do you think I am fat ?
Hubby: what do you think ?
Kassy: no I am asking YOU
Hubby: yes you are fat, I love the way your arse spills over the chair when you sit down for dinner. I enjoy watching your double chin shake when you laugh. Thats why I married you.

Ask a dumb question get a dumb answer is my husbands theory on life.
I only asked the question once. >>




are you still together?
 
Ah yes, the non-incriminating &quot;grunt&quot;

It works great in all situations.

Q: Am I fat?
A: ugh.

Q: I have a headache.
A: ugh.

Q: What do you feel like doing tonight?
A: ugh.

Q: That felt great for me, how about you?
A: uuuuuuuugggggghhhh.
 
Heres how I answerd once:

GF: Do I look fat to you?
Me: *Struts up to her and gives her a passionate kiss*
GF: So you wouldnt do that if I was fat?
Me: *.00002 hesitation in answering...*
GF: Shouts &quot;OMG THAT IS SO SHALLOW OF YOU!!!!&quot;

I worked on that strat for like, two years and it got beat down in less than 30 seconds. Still got me in the dog-house for the night🙁
 
bahahahahahahah

Yeah that hesitation is bad....

Unfortuately they don't stop long enough for you to get a word in edgewise before they accuse you of hesitating.
 
GF: &quot;Do I look fat?&quot;
Me: I think you are beautiful. The rest of the world thinks you are a pig.

What is more scary:
GF: &quot;What are you thinking?&quot;
Man: &quot;Nothing at all.&quot;
And he means it!
 
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