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Did anyone else like the Twilight movies?

S

ShawnD1

Lifer
I'm a big fan of the movie Troll 2. It's so bad and retarded that it's funny and enjoyable. Twilight is exactly the same. None of the characters seem to make any sense. It's like it was written by some kind of mental patient who doesn't understand human interaction or what is normal. Some of the dialog is so fucked up that it leaves me speechless. There was a scene in Breaking Dawn where Bella looks at her completely flat midsection and says "I think I'm pregnant," which is a bit silly, but not too crazy. Edward responds by saying something like "don't worry, Carmine will get that out of you." That is the most unintentionally funny dialog in the history of movies. Like who says that? You're pregnant? Don't worry brah, we'll just coat hanger it when we get back. Then later on she chooses to keep this baby even though she's repeatedly told she will die (because it's like Superman's baby and it will rip your vag apart). Wtf? Who would actually do that? This whole thing just blows my mind.
 
I only saw the first one, and only because GF at the time made me.

I have no real judgment towards the movies other than "meh"
 
Oh, I thought it was a movie based on the TV series. Then realized OP was talking about denutted vampire movies, definitely turn in your man card 1st before proceeding.
 
I actually liked the movies. I though the first was great for an indie production.

Of course, with the money Summit got from the first Twilight, they've become a pretty big powerhouse (good job, Paramount) and I think that each iteration had only gotten better. I'm not a big fan of the story line itself, but from a film standpoint, they're not terrible movies and the changes they made from the books work out better cinematically.

Having said that, Breaking Dawn pt. 1 was rubbish. I was seriously disappointed with the decline in quality behind the camera.
 
Big movie studios churning out complete and utter garbage because they know retarded teenagers will gobble it up and they can make millions is completely different than a low budget independent film whose director and writer truly believed in it.

Twilight was shit writing, shit directing, shit everything because the studios didn't give a shit. The one I saw was horrific with ackward dialogue, terrible acting, terrible dialogue, and worse plot.

Troll 2 was bad, but those in it cared (at the time), and it gave us such classic dumb lines as "You can't piss on hospitality."

Comparing the two is an insult to Troll 2.
 
I have tried a couple times to at least watch the movies once. I can't get past a few minutes of any of the movies and I haven't seen the "really bad" scenes like most people quote.
 
GotIssues said:
Troll 2 was bad, but those in it cared (at the time), and it gave us such classic dumb lines as "You can't piss on hospitality."

Comparing the two is an insult to Troll 2.
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That's the thing though. I think stephanie meyer actually does care about this. She really tried, and this was her product. Even her best efforts were complete nonsense. It's like it was written by aliens who observe human behavior but do not experience it. Edward's response to pregnancy is just one example. Another is after they have sex. Bella stands in the mirror and she's bruised to hell, so it was obviously really rough sex. She seems pleased. She keeps bugging him for more rough sex and he turns her down because he's obviously homosexual and this was just an experimental phase with girls (my gf read the books and said Edward was supposed to be a virgin at this point).

Another cool movie to check out is The Room. Just like Troll 2 and Twilight, it's mind boggling. A scene will start with the main guy doing some rant to himself like "I did not hit her!" then a second later "oh hi mark!" then like two seconds into the conversation ask "so how is your sex life?" It has entire scenes where the plot does not advance at all and the characters are not strengthened, like the scene in the flower shop. The 'sexy talk' if you can even call it that is hilarious. Just search youtube for The Room. Almost every scene is flawed beyond belief. The main character flipping out and smashing everything in his room is the most low energy flip out ever.
 
ShawnD1 said:
That's the thing though. I think stephanie meyer actually does care about this. She really tried, and this was her product. Even her best efforts were complete nonsense. It's like it was written by aliens who observe human behavior but do not experience it. Edward's response to pregnancy is just one example. Another is after they have sex. Bella stands in the mirror and she's bruised to hell, so it was obviously really rough sex. She seems pleased. She keeps bugging him for more rough sex and he turns her down because he's obviously homosexual and this was just an experimental phase with girls (my gf read the books and said Edward was supposed to be a virgin at this point).

Another cool movie to check out is The Room. Just like Troll 2 and Twilight, it's mind boggling. A scene will start with the main guy doing some rant to himself like "I did not hit her!" then a second later "oh hi mark!" then like two seconds into the conversation ask "so how is your sex life?" It has entire scenes where the plot does not advance at all and the characters are not strengthened, like the scene in the flower shop. The 'sexy talk' if you can even call it that is hilarious. Just search youtube for The Room. Almost every scene is flawed beyond belief. The main character flipping out and smashing everything in his room is the most low energy flip out ever.
Click to expand...

it's the best scene in a movie ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4

but seriously, you have to turn in your man card, sorry.
 
Can't even enjoy them for the sake of "it's so bad it's good". I appease my wife by watching them, but it's so fucking eye rolling obvious that the story was written by a hyper-religious teenage girl....what with the emotionally motivated, logically devoid, emo/sulky actions, decisions and dialog every idiot character in the story makes.
 
My wife likes them so occassionally I'm in the same room when they're on. One day I made an observation based on what I had gathered through osmosis: there's no plot. There's honestly no overarching plot thread or threads that strings the movie along. It's just a movie about a bunch of shit that happened to some people one time. It's like making a movie about the one time my firends and I went to KFC and had dinner. Nothing happened, we just went to KFC and had dinner. Yet somehow they managed to make 4 books, 5 movies and a bajillion dollars from some girl going to KFC.
 
389469_10150461579581633_59685491632_8822388_1310287082_n.jpg


What's crazy is those three clowns are making something like 25 mil off just one of the movies alone. meanwhile you have the guy with the main role in Spiderman working for 500 grand.
 
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Wife, daughter and granddaughter are hooked on it.
For Xmass, I got the first 3 DVD for daughter; she is wearing them out.
Showtime is always showing #3 - wife watches it so much she can spout the lines and internal scenes.
The #4 comes out on DVD this Feb - I will have to get that for them.
 
ShawnD1 said:
That's the thing though. I think stephanie meyer actually does care about this. She really tried, and this was her product. Even her best efforts were complete nonsense. It's like it was written by aliens who observe human behavior but do not experience it. Edward's response to pregnancy is just one example. Another is after they have sex. Bella stands in the mirror and she's bruised to hell, so it was obviously really rough sex. She seems pleased. She keeps bugging him for more rough sex and he turns her down because he's obviously homosexual and this was just an experimental phase with girls (my gf read the books and said Edward was supposed to be a virgin at this point).
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Stephanie Meyer didn't write the screenplay. Books and movies flow differently, and it is the job of the screenplay writers to translate the books to the movies. The screenplay writer obviously didn't give a shit except for the paycheck. I don't know how far it deviates from the book (never read them), but a screenplay writer should be the one tweaking dialogue to make it less terrible.

Another cool movie to check out is The Room. Just like Troll 2 and Twilight, it's mind boggling. A scene will start with the main guy doing some rant to himself like "I did not hit her!" then a second later "oh hi mark!" then like two seconds into the conversation ask "so how is your sex life?" It has entire scenes where the plot does not advance at all and the characters are not strengthened, like the scene in the flower shop. The 'sexy talk' if you can even call it that is hilarious. Just search youtube for The Room. Almost every scene is flawed beyond belief. The main character flipping out and smashing everything in his room is the most low energy flip out ever.
Click to expand...

I've seen The Room. You really aren't doing the terrible dialogue justice. It didn't merely have bad dialogue, it was like they played mad libs as they were writing it, so shit just didn't make sense or have any logical flow what-so-ever. Plus, it has boobs. It was ok in terms of bad movies, but nothing all that special.

There is bad acting where people who are paid lots of money just plain suck, then there is bad acting where you have a much smaller budget and take what you can get. Professional actors doing a shit job isn't funny, it's annoying. Bad actors getting paid next to nothing doing a shit job is hilarious because everyone can sorta relate and imagine themselves in that acting situation, often times probably able to do a better job. You kinda root for the actors in Troll 2 because they are everyday people who have real jobs and just kinda stumbled into being in the movie. Kristen Stewart and the rest of the Twilight cast were paid a ton of money to put out a steaming pile of shit.

If you haven't seen the documentary on Troll 2 ("The Best Worst Movie" is the title, iirc), you are missing out on one fantastic film (for real, great documentary). The Troll 2 director is completely dillusional and truly believes Troll 2 is a good film and gets super pissed when it's suggested to be otherwise.

EDIT: Another good bad movie is "The House" or "House" - about a guy whose kid is taken by a haunted house he inherited from his aunt. Special effects and "wtf" decision making by the characters is hilarious. Released sometime in the 70s.
 
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sactoking said:
My wife likes them so occassionally I'm in the same room when they're on. One day I made an observation based on what I had gathered through osmosis: there's no plot. There's honestly no overarching plot thread or threads that strings the movie along. It's just a movie about a bunch of shit that happened to some people one time. It's like making a movie about the one time my firends and I went to KFC and had dinner. Nothing happened, we just went to KFC and had dinner. Yet somehow they managed to make 4 books, 5 movies and a bajillion dollars from some girl going to KFC.
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Yeah that sounds pretty accurate. It's as bad as Dude Where's My Car. I guess The Room is like that too. It's just a bunch of nothing. The serious tone of the movie is why it's hilarious.

I also lost my shit laughing when one of the vampires in Italy looks exactly like Richmond from The IT Crowd
IT Crowd:
the_it_crowd_richmond.jpg


I can't find a pic of the teleporting vampire from the movie. I'll keep searching!
 
I think its popular to hate on the movies. I just watched Reel Steel last night. I'll say this, the Twilight movies are better than that garbage was.
 
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