Did anyone else like the Twilight movies?

[zerocool84]

I watched like 10 min of the first one. The guy vampire tells the girl he wants to kill her and she simply says she trusts him. If someone told me they wanted to kill me, I wouldn't be ok with it.

 

[Gothgar]

Not sure if trolls

 

[ShawnD1]

You kinda root for the actors in Troll 2 because they are everyday people who have real jobs and just kinda stumbled into being in the movie. Kristen Stewart and the rest of the Twilight cast were paid a ton of money to put out a steaming pile of shit.

To be fair, they didn't have much to work with. One of the things so appealing to girls about the Twilight "story" is that Bella isn't even a 1 dimensional character. She has 0 dimensions; girls are supposed to project themselves. I don't know if that's intentional (which would be brilliant) or if the author didn't realize that the main character has absolutely no character. There is no way to describe her. She even has less depth than a character like a black stereotype character or angry cop stereotype character. What are her interests? What does she do in here spare time? What is her favorite subject in school? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have no idea how someone can try to act like this character. Telling Kristen how to act probably went like this....

Director: Read this book and get a feel for this character. I want you to think just like her.
Kristen: The book doesn't seem to mention anything about her personality. It just says what she looks like.
Director: Alright well then pretend it's you in Bella's place. How would you feel?
Kristen: I don't know. The story seems to be told from a strange perspective that vaguely resembles schizotypal personality disorder or possibly schizophrenia. Bella never seems to be actively involved in anything; she only watches things happen. She doesn't do anything like pick up a gun and shoot someone. All of the drama happening around her has nothing to do with her. The conflict appears to be between the wolf boy and the vampire boy. Bella doesn't have much preference for either. She hangs out with both of them and switches back and forth like a child switching between divorced parents.
Director: Alright well tone it down so it sounds more like reality where two men like Jacob and Edward are interested in you at the same time. What would you be feeling?
Kristen: I don't know. It seems like the only reason she likes them is because they are the only people who like her. They don't really share common interests. It's more like Jacob and Edward do their own thing and she is just there.
Director: Alright well imagine you're just there. You are hanging out with a guy just because he's your only non-imaginary friend. What would be going through your head in such a lonely situation?
Kristen: It actually sounds like Jacob and Edward are both imaginary. This story has a striking resemblance to Ferris Bueller's Day Off where the astoundingly troubled Cameron is friends with two people who are amazing in every way. Like Ferris Bueller, Jacob and Edward both appear to be projections. Ferris Bueller is a projection of a popular kid from the perspective of an unpopular kid; his entire life is easy and the world stops turning when he is missing. Jacob and Edward are Bella's projections of what a perfect boyfriend is like. They love her for no apparent reason, they protect her, they welcome her into their family which is projected as being better than her own family in almost every way.
Director: Ok then imagine you have very extreme emotional problems stemming from your shitty home life, lack of social skills, and lack of interests. What would you do?
Kristen: Kill myself.

 

[Doppel]

Yeah they really are not bad, although he last one was horrendously boring, I mean I've never sat through such a pointlessly boring movie.

 

[schneiderguy]

I love Twilight, Kristen Stewart = :wub:

 

[randomrogue]

Refuse to the see the last one. Will admit to seeing the other ones but that was only because I had a gf who forced me to.

Whoever did the casting for these movies should be run out of Hollywood. The acting is atrocious.

Now here's where I risk my manhood. GF begged me to read the books. BEGGED. I gave in. Truth is though that the books were good. That's why it's a shame that the movies are so downright terrible.

I generally read the book before watching the movie and the Twilight series is the worst adaptation I can think of.

 

[classy]

I have watched them all and am a hard core vampire lover. The story is not bad for a soft horror love story. But these are the weakest vampires ever to hit the silver screen.

 

[Todd33]

I saw the second one on the plane, it was so bad I was surpised it was a major studio with a real budget. It came off as a college student movie written by a crazy chick.

 

[Rage187]

The effects are horrible but some of the chicks are doable.

 

[Kadarin]

But these are the weakest vampires ever to hit the silver screen.

"Purity rings", painted on abs, vampires that sparkle in the sunlight? If you're a vampire who's hundreds of years old, why the fuck would you want to hang out at a high school and go after emotionally fucked up girls (i.e. not women)?

The whole idea is goddamned idiotic.

 

[NeoV]

Ashley Green

/thread

 

[dud]

I'm a big fan of the movie Troll 2. It's so bad and retarded that it's funny and enjoyable. Twilight is exactly the same. None of the characters seem to make any sense. It's like it was written by some kind of mental patient who doesn't understand human interaction or what is normal. Some of the dialog is so fucked up that it leaves me speechless. There was a scene in Breaking Dawn where Bella looks at her completely flat midsection and says "I think I'm pregnant," which is a bit silly, but not too crazy. Edward responds by saying something like "don't worry, Carmine will get that out of you." That is the most unintentionally funny dialog in the history of movies. Like who says that? You're pregnant? Don't worry brah, we'll just coat hanger it when we get back. Then later on she chooses to keep this baby even though she's repeatedly told she will die (because it's like Superman's baby and it will rip your vag apart). Wtf? Who would actually do that? This whole thing just blows my mind.

So the bottom line is ... it's so bad ... its good?

 

[PottedMeat]

is this talking about twilight?

stupid wtf captcha - 'describe this brand: siemens'

 

[djnsmith7]

Did a guy start this thread? No way would I watch those movies...

 

[amish]

a friend let my wife borrow the books. she couldn't get past the first chapter. i sadly read a page and my eyes began to bleed.

watched the movies. didn't hate them because of the girls. hated the "acting" and great dialogue. the whole premise pisses me off.

i'm a 100 year old vampire that likes a chick in high school. we have so much in common like...breathing, nope...sleeping, nope...eating, nope...politics, nope... so i guess we just have our stunted maturity. i could be banging actresses and rock stars in hollywood, but i'll just stay in Forks, WA, with some chick that wants to pet a giant dog on the side.

giant dogs that have magical shorts that somehow explode when they transform to doggie mode only to be magically sewn back together when angsty whiny mode is re-engaged. wahhhhh, beller doesn't like me. who gives a fuck...

 

[ShawnD1]

Real life:
We have so much in common. You're you and I want to fuck you.

Twilight:
I don't even want to do that. I just like you for no reason.

 

[mmntech]

Apparently the films have developed a cult following, for the same reason people like The Room and other so-bad-it's-good movies. I know Doug Walker, the Nostalgia Critic, enjoys them. Breaking Dawn Part 1 outraged him though.
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/vi...m-reviews/33291-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1

 

[sactoking]

Didn't Troll 2 not actually have any trolls in it?

 

[ShawnD1]

Didn't Troll 2 not actually have any trolls in it?

It's a head scratcher alright, sort of how like the "love story" of Twilight doesn't actually have a story nor is there any evidence of love. It's just.... I don't even know. Did you ever see that movie A Beautiful Mind? Sort of like that, but multiply the schizophrenia by 10 and then add then add in a bunch of emotional problems and then maybe add in sexual frustration and a lack of understanding of what a vampire is supposed to be.

 

[GotIssues]

To be fair, they didn't have much to work with. One of the things so appealing to girls about the Twilight "story" is that Bella isn't even a 1 dimensional character. She has 0 dimensions; girls are supposed to project themselves. I don't know if that's intentional (which would be brilliant) or if the author didn't realize that the main character has absolutely no character. There is no way to describe her. She even has less depth than a character like a black stereotype character or angry cop stereotype character. What are her interests? What does she do in here spare time? What is her favorite subject in school? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have no idea how someone can try to act like this character. Telling Kristen how to act probably went like this....

I'll give her somewhat of a pass because a bad screenplay and bad directing can make even good actors look bad. Pattinson is a shit actor, and I've never seen any of the other actors in anything that I know of. Stewart is ok in what I've seen, but certainly not what I consider a good actor.

So the bottom line is ... it's so bad ... its good?

Yes, except the part about it being good.

Didn't Troll 2 not actually have any trolls in it?

They were goblins, and I might be mistaken, but I don't even think there was a Troll 1.

In "The Best Worst Movie" - the documentary about Troll 2, someone asked the director the question about Trolls not being in the movie, and it pissed him off pretty bad. The director is absolutely hilariously defensive of the movie, and truly believes it to be good. By the end of the documentary, he was damn near flipping out at people making fun of it. Seriously, watch the documentary. You won't be disappointed.

 

[GotIssues]

I watched like 10 min of the first one. The guy vampire tells the girl he wants to kill her and she simply says she trusts him. If someone told me they wanted to kill me, I wouldn't be ok with it.

There are a few instances that make you go "wtf" when you see them. Here are two that I know of (from my wife's and bro-in-law's conversations and the one movie I saw)

1. Before they are dating, Edward sneaks into her room to watch her sleep. Her reaction: "That's sweet!" Normal People Reaction: "HOLY SHIT! DAD, BRING YOUR SHOTGUN! SOMEONE IS IN MY ROOM! STAY AWAY FROM ME, PSYCHO!"
2. In the movie I actually saw (part 2?), the wife of one of the werewolves had one of the "wtf" moments. When Bella meets her for the first time, she is shocked at the massive scars on her face. The wife says "I got too close to him when he changed and this is what happened. It's ok, though, because he loves me and didn't really mean to do it." What is this saying? "It's ok if your husband beats you and almost kills you, just as long as you learn when not to make him angry and he loves you."

I know there are more because they've had conversations about them, but those are the only two I can think of off the top of my head.

 

[ShawnD1]

They were goblins, and I might be mistaken, but I don't even think there was a Troll 1.

It was one of those cases where Troll 2 had absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1. It would be like me making a burger called the Big Mac 2 even though I don't work for McDonalds and it's nothing at all like the original Big Mac. They can get away with this because the name is too generic to copyright.

Actually I'm surprised Transformers can be copyright. That's a real word:

 

[uclaLabrat]

I'll give her somewhat of a pass because a bad screenplay and bad directing can make even good actors look bad. Pattinson is a shit actor, and I've never seen any of the other actors in anything that I know of. Stewart is ok in what I've seen, but certainly not what I consider a good actor.

Kristen Stewart has the emotional range of Terry Schaivo. Seriously. My dog would have been better in that role. Actually, Maggie Grace would have been perfect, but whatever.

Those movies are absolute dumpster fires.

 

[sactoking]

I'll give her somewhat of a pass because a bad screenplay and bad directing can make even good actors look bad. Pattinson is a shit actor, and I've never seen any of the other actors in anything that I know of. Stewart is ok in what I've seen, but certainly not what I consider a good actor.

Taylor Lautner's acting climax was when he was in 'The Adventures of Shark-Boy and Lava Girl'. It's been downhill ever since.

They were goblins, and I might be mistaken, but I don't even think there was a Troll 1.

There was definitely a troll in Troll; I'm ashamed to say it but I've seen it. IIRC correctly it was about a paranoid kid spending the night with his babysitter and then trolls grew from the ground or he opened a gateway to hell or something.

 

[GotIssues]

Taylor Lautner's acting climax was when he was in 'The Adventures of Shark-Boy and Lava Girl'. It's been downhill ever since.

Can't say I watched that one.

There was definitely a troll in Troll; I'm ashamed to say it but I've seen it. IIRC correctly it was about a paranoid kid spending the night with his babysitter and then trolls grew from the ground or he opened a gateway to hell or something.

I was saying that I wasn't sure the movie Troll 1 existed. Although it sounds like it does, it just exists as an entirely different movie (writer/director/everyone is different), so there is no relation, other than the name.

I just imdb'd Troll. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092115/ Notice the main characters names.