Hey all,
Well, since its been about 3 months now since the whole "6 month long drawn out fiasco" of my three year break up took place, my life has changed rapidly.
About 3 months ago, once my ex and I were 100% done, she went away to some Summer job and met a guy. They are together now... but a few weeks ago she called me and told me all these things, and then said that she didn't know if she could be friends, but she would try.
Now, we email back and forth about every week or two. They are very simple emails, and keep getting simpler each time.
She is going back to College soon (in a few weeks), and I KNOW that is when she's really going to get into the nitch of things as far as dating a new guy, etc. I graduated College and am working full time, and I just moved to a new area (which is actually closer to her home town than I was when we dated (20 minutes vs. 2 hours)), so now I need to make some new friends and get a pattern going.
Anyway, everytime she emails me, it freaking hurts just to see her name in my inbox. My responses are vague, but of course, deep down, I still want her bad, even though I don't think she has any feelings left whatsoever.
I'm thinking of doing the right thing here to keep my heart from breaking and to at least save some dignity (since she DID treat me like absolute ****** once we broke up).
I'm thinking of cutting contact. Not blocking her, just not calling her, not writing her, not IMing her etc.
Sure, if she wants to IM me, or email me, it'll still work. But I'm thinking of just forcing myself to stop all effort on my part. I need to do something soon before she goes back to College, and I'm checking her away messages or something and see "With <guy>", or something of the sort.
The past 6 months have been tiring getting over her (we officially broke up in December), and its has been on and off "killing me" ever since. Its time to move past this. I think about it constantly, and I still don't know how "Out of no where" she could have gone from "OMG I Love you so much and I'm so happy!" to "I don't want to talk to you anymore and I want to let everything we had for three years go."
Anyway, so I think the thing to do is to stop talking to her. If a year from now she IM's me or something that's fine, but right now, six months later, I'm still in that stage when I know if I see an away message saying "I love <guy>" or something like that, it'll kill me. It just hasn't hurt so much because even though I know she's with someone new, she's so far away and has no internet access, that it isn't thrown in my face.
Now don't get me wrong. I've dated and such. In the past six months (especially since I lost about 50 pounds), I have MUCH more mature women chasing me and/or allowing me to chase them. But for some reason, even though I know this girl wasn't the one for me, it still stings really bad.
So what do you guys say ...... cut off all communication FTW?
Well, since its been about 3 months now since the whole "6 month long drawn out fiasco" of my three year break up took place, my life has changed rapidly.
About 3 months ago, once my ex and I were 100% done, she went away to some Summer job and met a guy. They are together now... but a few weeks ago she called me and told me all these things, and then said that she didn't know if she could be friends, but she would try.
Now, we email back and forth about every week or two. They are very simple emails, and keep getting simpler each time.
She is going back to College soon (in a few weeks), and I KNOW that is when she's really going to get into the nitch of things as far as dating a new guy, etc. I graduated College and am working full time, and I just moved to a new area (which is actually closer to her home town than I was when we dated (20 minutes vs. 2 hours)), so now I need to make some new friends and get a pattern going.
Anyway, everytime she emails me, it freaking hurts just to see her name in my inbox. My responses are vague, but of course, deep down, I still want her bad, even though I don't think she has any feelings left whatsoever.
I'm thinking of doing the right thing here to keep my heart from breaking and to at least save some dignity (since she DID treat me like absolute ****** once we broke up).
I'm thinking of cutting contact. Not blocking her, just not calling her, not writing her, not IMing her etc.
Sure, if she wants to IM me, or email me, it'll still work. But I'm thinking of just forcing myself to stop all effort on my part. I need to do something soon before she goes back to College, and I'm checking her away messages or something and see "With <guy>", or something of the sort.
The past 6 months have been tiring getting over her (we officially broke up in December), and its has been on and off "killing me" ever since. Its time to move past this. I think about it constantly, and I still don't know how "Out of no where" she could have gone from "OMG I Love you so much and I'm so happy!" to "I don't want to talk to you anymore and I want to let everything we had for three years go."
Anyway, so I think the thing to do is to stop talking to her. If a year from now she IM's me or something that's fine, but right now, six months later, I'm still in that stage when I know if I see an away message saying "I love <guy>" or something like that, it'll kill me. It just hasn't hurt so much because even though I know she's with someone new, she's so far away and has no internet access, that it isn't thrown in my face.
Now don't get me wrong. I've dated and such. In the past six months (especially since I lost about 50 pounds), I have MUCH more mature women chasing me and/or allowing me to chase them. But for some reason, even though I know this girl wasn't the one for me, it still stings really bad.
So what do you guys say ...... cut off all communication FTW?
EVEN THOUGH they are 10 times better in bed, still keeps me attached to her.
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