Cutting off ALL communication with my ex

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

T9D

Diamond Member
Dec 1, 2001
5,320
6
0
Hahaha the rattlesnake thing is so true lol.

Anyway. Look girls crave attention. She's always going to be messing with your mind and emotions for her own selfish reasons like women do. She's always going to keep you dangling. That's what they do. And it's f-ed up. So you have to make a stand and cut it off. Their will always be a time when they send some random email, or random call, or something. So dont respond. And dont be friends. She made a choice to leave you. She hurt you bad. Let her see the consequences of her decision. But most of all you just have to save yourself man. She couldn't care less how it hurts you. As long as she's getting some attention.
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: tk109
Hahaha the rattlesnake thing is so true lol.

Anyway. Look girls crave attention. She's always going to be messing with your mind and emotions for her own selfish reasons like women do. She's always going to keep you dangling. That's what they do. And it's f-ed up. So you have to make a stand and cut it off. Their will always be a time when they send some random email, or random call, or something. So dont respond. And dont be friends. She made a choice to leave you. She hurt you bad. Let her see the consequences of her decision. But most of all you just have to save yourself man. She couldn't care less how it hurts you. As long as she's getting some attention.


Thats true. AND THATS the hard part.

Four weeks ago, when she met this new guy, she called me to say the following:

"Matt, I have to tell you something. I had sex with <guy>. I'm sorry it hurts, but I now realize the following:

1) You treated me really well and I didn't appreciate you enough at all.
2) No one will ever hold me like you do.
3) I will always love you.

So we get on the phone and I start being cute or whatever, and she crawls up into a little ball. Apparently, even though she said those things to me that made my heart start racing, I wasn't allowed to respond to them at all. So since then, this hurts so much more.

-Matt
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Women, be it becuase of guilt or some other unfathomable reason, almost always want to remain friends with their former boyfriends. Do not fall into this trap.
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I have screwed other women since we broke up: Nothing special :( EVEN THOUGH they are 10 times better in bed, still keeps me attached to her.

Give it more time...? :confused: It has been 6 months. It is time to move on and stop thinking about her. I suggest if it is such a problem, completely take her out of your life (some people are more mature and can handle it better, but some people aren't at that point in their life <no big deal> ). If you don't move on, then you are EMO, and I have no sympathy.
 

Mursilis

Diamond Member
Mar 11, 2001
7,756
11
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
at least save some dignity

As if you have any left after all your whiny "what should I do now, I can't think for myself" threads. You know what you need to do - do it.
 

Spineshank

Diamond Member
Jun 8, 2001
7,728
1
71
I was even thinking last week that its been a while for you to not make a thread.
 

frankgomez75

Platinum Member
Mar 23, 2004
2,215
1
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: tk109
Hahaha the rattlesnake thing is so true lol.

Anyway. Look girls crave attention. She's always going to be messing with your mind and emotions for her own selfish reasons like women do. She's always going to keep you dangling. That's what they do. And it's f-ed up. So you have to make a stand and cut it off. Their will always be a time when they send some random email, or random call, or something. So dont respond. And dont be friends. She made a choice to leave you. She hurt you bad. Let her see the consequences of her decision. But most of all you just have to save yourself man. She couldn't care less how it hurts you. As long as she's getting some attention.


Thats true. AND THATS the hard part.

Four weeks ago, when she met this new guy, she called me to say the following:

"Matt, I have to tell you something. I had sex with <guy>. I'm sorry it hurts, but I now realize the following:

1) You treated me really well and I didn't appreciate you enough at all.
2) No one will ever hold me like you do.
3) I will always love you.

So we get on the phone and I start being cute or whatever, and she crawls up into a little ball. Apparently, even though she said those things to me that made my heart start racing, I wasn't allowed to respond to them at all. So since then, this hurts so much more.

-Matt

Bro, that email was pretty fvckin cold... that biatch is a snake. Stay away from her at all costs.. telling you she fvcked some dude and it wasn't as good as fvcking you you!? :confused: what a stupid bitch. Send her back an email saying you banged 3 other chics and they were much better than her. Hell, send pics too. That will make you feel a whol e lot better. Than when she wants you back... bang her and than tell her get the fvck out your done with her or stand her up. Get the upper hand... or you could just simply let it go and don't look back.
 

Pepsei

Lifer
Dec 14, 2001
12,895
1
0
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


keep going until you reach 10....its like a perscription medicine.....if you are really sick you gotta make sure you finish the whole perscription so not to relapse into the sickness again. You are partway through your medicine now go finish the bottle.

Yes, that's what you need to do OP,

the problem is you spend all these time with that girl.. and she turned into this special person you put on the top of the pedestal.

once you been with 10 other girls... you'll realize, they're mostly the same.
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,066
4,712
126
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Thats true. AND THATS the hard part.

Four weeks ago, when she met this new guy, she called me to say the following:

"Matt, I have to tell you something. I had sex with <guy>. I'm sorry it hurts, but I now realize the following:

1) You treated me really well and I didn't appreciate you enough at all.
2) No one will ever hold me like you do.
3) I will always love you.

So we get on the phone and I start being cute or whatever, and she crawls up into a little ball. Apparently, even though she said those things to me that made my heart start racing, I wasn't allowed to respond to them at all. So since then, this hurts so much more.
Everytime she does this to you, remember one thing: She is also sending that same spam email to each and every one of her other boyfriends (current ones AND ex ones). Now with that in mind, how do you respond to the email?
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: Pepsei
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


keep going until you reach 10....its like a perscription medicine.....if you are really sick you gotta make sure you finish the whole perscription so not to relapse into the sickness again. You are partway through your medicine now go finish the bottle.

Yes, that's what you need to do OP,

the problem is you spend all these time with that girl.. and she turned into this special person you put on the top of the pedestal.

once you been with 10 other girls... you'll realize, they're mostly the same.


Its not that at all. Its more the EXPERIENCES I had with this girl more than the girl itself.

Example:

1) I liked how she was close to her family, and I always felt happy hanging out with them at Christmas and such. Even if I didn't feel 100% "a part of them".

2) I'm obsessed with trains, and obsessed with the city she goes to school in. Dating her meant I got to take trains to her school, and I had a ton of experiences (snowed in, etc.). All in all, dating her was interesting, but ONLY because it was always a challenge to get to her: and then once I was there, all was worth it.

3) I was in College at the time we broke up: still living in my college town, in my own apartment, with my old college friends, playing in a band, 50 pounds heavier, etc. Now, I moved up North, I miss College and my College pals, I miss the band, I miss all the experiences (but I have new ones to look forward to, don't get me wrong!), and I have a brand new job. So I think, with ALL of this changing so fast, I felt comfortable with her.

DEEP DOWN I know she isn't for me. She's chunky, she's too close to her family, and for the most part can't make her own decisions... I hated that while we dated. But I liked the challenge, I liked going to Boston in the Winter (OK, so I named the city).

Now, I bring other people to Boston on trips, but it isn't the same --- not sure why. But now you all see where I'm coming from. This is more of a memory thing. If someone asked me "Dude, did you have a ****** load of fun with her and wish you could relive it?" I'd say yes. If they said "Dude, would you marry her?" I'd say no.

Make sense?
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: dullard
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Thats true. AND THATS the hard part.

Four weeks ago, when she met this new guy, she called me to say the following:

"Matt, I have to tell you something. I had sex with <guy>. I'm sorry it hurts, but I now realize the following:

1) You treated me really well and I didn't appreciate you enough at all.
2) No one will ever hold me like you do.
3) I will always love you.

So we get on the phone and I start being cute or whatever, and she crawls up into a little ball. Apparently, even though she said those things to me that made my heart start racing, I wasn't allowed to respond to them at all. So since then, this hurts so much more.
Everytime she does this to you, remember one thing: She is also sending that same spam email to each and every one of her other boyfriends (current ones AND ex ones). Now with that in mind, how do you respond to the email?


I was her first boyfriend. This guy is her second.
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: Pepsei
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


keep going until you reach 10....its like a perscription medicine.....if you are really sick you gotta make sure you finish the whole perscription so not to relapse into the sickness again. You are partway through your medicine now go finish the bottle.
This is more of a memory thing. If someone asked me "Dude, did you have a ****** load of fun with her and wish you could relive it?" I'd say yes. If they said "Dude, would you marry her?" I'd say no.

Make sense?

yes well after you have had 10 new girsl in your life , as a side effect would come a slew of better memories and experiences.

make sense?
 

bennylong

Platinum Member
Apr 20, 2006
2,493
0
0
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: bennylong
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!



I think this all has to do with me finding a new place to live too.

We broke up when I graduated College. Then I moved to her home town. After I realized we weren't going to be together, I got out of my lease (legally) and moved home. Now, I was on my own for 6 years, but I've been home for about 2 months now.

I have all the money I need to rent a new place: the only thing holding me back is location. I can't seem to decide exactly where I want to go. I keep thinking in my mind: "Where will the best place be to meet new people".

I think once I have a new place, INSTANTLY, my mind will disappear from this girl, because I'll have a new place to live, and a new home to focus on, and new people to meet.

BTW: I go to a gym in her town, because I signed up for it while I lived in her town, and when I moved, I didn't want to leave my gym --- I love that gym. So I'd like to keep that gym.

Funny thing is.... while I'm at the gym, I NEVER think of her, even though I know she lives only 5 minutes away.

So I might move closer to the gym, because I know that as new memories develop, I'll forget she even ever lived there.
 

JS80

Lifer
Oct 24, 2005
26,271
7
81
if i recall correctly....

her cousin...her sister...................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
 

JS80

Lifer
Oct 24, 2005
26,271
7
81
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
....................your ex.
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: JS80
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................
....................your ex.

This is definitely the case......



 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: bennylong
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!



I think this all has to do with me finding a new place to live too.

We broke up when I graduated College. Then I moved to her home town. After I realized we weren't going to be together, I got out of my lease (legally) and moved home. Now, I was on my own for 6 years, but I've been home for about 2 months now.

I have all the money I need to rent a new place: the only thing holding me back is location. I can't seem to decide exactly where I want to go. I keep thinking in my mind: "Where will the best place be to meet new people".

I think once I have a new place, INSTANTLY, my mind will disappear from this girl, because I'll have a new place to live, and a new home to focus on, and new people to meet.

BTW: I go to a gym in her town, because I signed up for it while I lived in her town, and when I moved, I didn't want to leave my gym --- I love that gym. So I'd like to keep that gym.

Funny thing is.... while I'm at the gym, I NEVER think of her, even though I know she lives only 5 minutes away.

So I might move closer to the gym, because I know that as new memories develop, I'll forget she even ever lived there.

your in northern jersey right? move to hoboken stat!
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: bennylong
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!



I think this all has to do with me finding a new place to live too.

We broke up when I graduated College. Then I moved to her home town. After I realized we weren't going to be together, I got out of my lease (legally) and moved home. Now, I was on my own for 6 years, but I've been home for about 2 months now.

I have all the money I need to rent a new place: the only thing holding me back is location. I can't seem to decide exactly where I want to go. I keep thinking in my mind: "Where will the best place be to meet new people".

I think once I have a new place, INSTANTLY, my mind will disappear from this girl, because I'll have a new place to live, and a new home to focus on, and new people to meet.

BTW: I go to a gym in her town, because I signed up for it while I lived in her town, and when I moved, I didn't want to leave my gym --- I love that gym. So I'd like to keep that gym.

Funny thing is.... while I'm at the gym, I NEVER think of her, even though I know she lives only 5 minutes away.

So I might move closer to the gym, because I know that as new memories develop, I'll forget she even ever lived there.

your in northern jersey right? move to hoboken stat!

hehe really?

 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: bennylong
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!



I think this all has to do with me finding a new place to live too.

We broke up when I graduated College. Then I moved to her home town. After I realized we weren't going to be together, I got out of my lease (legally) and moved home. Now, I was on my own for 6 years, but I've been home for about 2 months now.

I have all the money I need to rent a new place: the only thing holding me back is location. I can't seem to decide exactly where I want to go. I keep thinking in my mind: "Where will the best place be to meet new people".

I think once I have a new place, INSTANTLY, my mind will disappear from this girl, because I'll have a new place to live, and a new home to focus on, and new people to meet.

BTW: I go to a gym in her town, because I signed up for it while I lived in her town, and when I moved, I didn't want to leave my gym --- I love that gym. So I'd like to keep that gym.

Funny thing is.... while I'm at the gym, I NEVER think of her, even though I know she lives only 5 minutes away.

So I might move closer to the gym, because I know that as new memories develop, I'll forget she even ever lived there.

your in northern jersey right? move to hoboken stat!

hehe really?

yeah man tons of young people right out of college. Tons of clubs and bars and social things to do. I can actually probably hook you up out there at least to "tag along" with some girls when they go out.
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: bennylong
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!



I think this all has to do with me finding a new place to live too.

We broke up when I graduated College. Then I moved to her home town. After I realized we weren't going to be together, I got out of my lease (legally) and moved home. Now, I was on my own for 6 years, but I've been home for about 2 months now.

I have all the money I need to rent a new place: the only thing holding me back is location. I can't seem to decide exactly where I want to go. I keep thinking in my mind: "Where will the best place be to meet new people".

I think once I have a new place, INSTANTLY, my mind will disappear from this girl, because I'll have a new place to live, and a new home to focus on, and new people to meet.

BTW: I go to a gym in her town, because I signed up for it while I lived in her town, and when I moved, I didn't want to leave my gym --- I love that gym. So I'd like to keep that gym.

Funny thing is.... while I'm at the gym, I NEVER think of her, even though I know she lives only 5 minutes away.

So I might move closer to the gym, because I know that as new memories develop, I'll forget she even ever lived there.

your in northern jersey right? move to hoboken stat!

hehe really?

yeah man tons of young people right out of college. Tons of clubs and bars and social things to do. I can actually probably hook you up out there at least to "tag along" with some girls when they go out.


I'm uhh .... not a boring person ya know :) And put me in a place and I can make friends, thats not an issue at all.
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,066
4,712
126
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I was her first boyfriend. This guy is her second.
1) The way it sounds from your post, you are wrong there. She probably cheated in the past.
2) There will be more. Five years from now when she sends you that mass email, there will have been dozens of boyfriends after you who she also sends that email.

 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Originally posted by: bennylong
You should have cut her off when she broke up with you! Why keep talking to someone that reminds you of all the hurt? It's not like you had a kid together and you have no choice.

Move on , dude! You're just a kid!



I think this all has to do with me finding a new place to live too.

We broke up when I graduated College. Then I moved to her home town. After I realized we weren't going to be together, I got out of my lease (legally) and moved home. Now, I was on my own for 6 years, but I've been home for about 2 months now.

I have all the money I need to rent a new place: the only thing holding me back is location. I can't seem to decide exactly where I want to go. I keep thinking in my mind: "Where will the best place be to meet new people".

I think once I have a new place, INSTANTLY, my mind will disappear from this girl, because I'll have a new place to live, and a new home to focus on, and new people to meet.

BTW: I go to a gym in her town, because I signed up for it while I lived in her town, and when I moved, I didn't want to leave my gym --- I love that gym. So I'd like to keep that gym.

Funny thing is.... while I'm at the gym, I NEVER think of her, even though I know she lives only 5 minutes away.

So I might move closer to the gym, because I know that as new memories develop, I'll forget she even ever lived there.

your in northern jersey right? move to hoboken stat!

hehe really?

yeah man tons of young people right out of college. Tons of clubs and bars and social things to do. I can actually probably hook you up out there at least to "tag along" with some girls when they go out.


I'm uhh .... not a boring person ya know :) And put me in a place and I can make friends, thats not an issue at all.

well then start apartment hunting already! not to mention hoboken is a hop skip and a jump into the city. you cant lose. Take the plunge you wont regret it.
 

AMCRambler

Diamond Member
Jan 23, 2001
7,715
31
91
Dude, just delete her sn from your buddy list, and dont respond to her emails, phone calls or whatever. Do what you say you're going to do. You gotta get some distance to help you let her go. She's obviously over you, but you've still got feelings. Get that separation that your heart needs to mend, and put her out of your mind. I think this is the only way you'll be able to move on.