Cremation incident in restaurant – Over Reacted?

[Howard]

I'm sure the OP, SS and Classy would be scared to catch the Takei.

If I catch the Takei do I also get the sexy voice?

 

[paulney]

Holy mother of god, people, 15 pages?
Did anyone bring up Big Lebowski episode on any of those?

 

[busydude]

Did anyone bring up Big Lebowski episode on any of those?

Yup.

 

[Raizinman]

As far as you are concerned it's just a small vase sitting on someone's table. You don't need to be concerned with it, and as long as you are not a busy-body eavesdropper like the OP you won't even know it's there.

How do you purposely eavesdrop in an open booth next to yours at an Applebee’s? LOL

If I overheard someone say that they brought the flu, or even a cold virus in a sealed container at the next table I would also enquire with the manager to look into it. If these patrons would have left the urn in a bag, and said nothing at all, there would not have been any problem. Their lack of common decency is what started this by seemingly bragging about what they are doing.

Anyone who brings in to a restaurant an odor, disturbing t-shirt, an urn, or anything that does not agree with the restaurants written or unwritten policy, risks being asked to leave. Any customer has the right to enquire with the management of any restaurant to decide what is within the restaurants policy. It then becomes the restaurants decision to decide what, if anything, to do.

I did learn something by posting this: Next time this happens, I’ll take a tip from many of the replies posted and try childish name calling and bullying tactics to and get my way. I can’t wait to see how far that gets me.

 

[moshquerade]

How do you purposely eavesdrop in an open booth next to yours at an Applebee’s? LOL

This is how you purposely eavesdrop:
"My wife and I got quiet and started listening carefully after we overheard that."

If I overheard someone say that they brought the flu, or even a cold virus in a sealed container at the next table I would also enquire with the manager to look into it. If these patrons would have left the urn in a bag, and said nothing at all, there would not have been any problem. Their lack of common decency is what started this by seemingly bragging about what they are doing.

What about the person who HAS the flu or a cold, and they come into the restaurant? You going to ask to have them kicked out? See how foolish that sounds?

Anyone who brings in to a restaurant an odor, disturbing t-shirt, an urn, or anything that does not agree with the restaurants written or unwritten policy, risks being asked to leave. Any customer has the right to enquire with the management of any restaurant to decide what is within the restaurants policy. It then becomes the restaurants decision to decide what, if anything, to do.

There was no odor. There was no disturbing t-shirt. There was something like this:

Nothing you come up with is going to justify you being a buttinski in this case.

I did learn something by posting this: Next time this happens, I’ll take a tip from many of the replies posted and try childish name calling and bullying tactics to and get my way. I can’t wait to see how far that gets me.

Hopefully you have learned something from the overwhelming number of people here who disagree with what you and your wife did.

 

[classy]

I'm sure the OP, SS and Classy would be scared to catch the Takei.

I am not going to derail the thread. The folks should have known better. People go to places to eat and just the thought that someone has human remains in a jar, regardless of how sterile they maybe, is just a pure lack of courtesy. Should the OP have eavesdropped, probably not, but that doesn't excuse the folks bringing a cremated body into the restaurant. I don't think bringing in creamted remains in a public place to eat is proper etiquette. That is not irrational or mean spirited. I have no problem with a woman breast feeding in public, but I would expect her to try and be discreet.

Not jumping around showing her nipples saying this is okay because its natural. People here are so f'in paranoid of having someone object to something its either a front or just plain pathetic. Not expecting to sit down next to a table with someone carrying a cremated loved one is not a war against the damn cosmos.

As for the gay, just stay on topic and quit bitching about stuff from another subject. My thoughts on one thing don't have anything to do with my thoughts on something else. Sheesh, grow up.

 

[Capt Caveman]

I am not going to derail the thread. The folks should have known better. People go to places to eat and just the thought that someone has human remains in a jar, regardless of how sterile they maybe, is just a pure lack of courtesy. Should the OP have eavesdropped, probably not, but that doesn't excuse the folks bringing a cremated body into the restaurant. I don't think bringing in creamted remains in a public place to eat is proper etiquette. That is not irrational or mean spirited. I have no problem with a woman breast feeding in public, but I would expect her to try and be discreet.

Not jumping around showing her nipples saying this is okay because its natural. People here are so f'in paranoid of having someone object to something its either a front or just plain pathetic. Not expecting to sit down next to a table with someone carrying a cremated loved one is not a war against the damn cosmos.

As for the gay, just stay on topic and quit bitching about stuff from another subject. My thoughts on one thing don't have anything to do with my thoughts on something else. Sheesh, grow up.

Again, like the OP, you need to grow up. It has no affect on you. This family was being discreet. The OP never even mentions seeing the remains just overhearing about it due to his eavesdroppping. He is the type of individual that shouldn't be going to restaurants, let alone an Applebee's, as he needs to lie to a restaurant manager to ensure that people he finds offensive should not be there when in fact, he is the one that should not be there.

Instead of learning from the experience, the OP and you, ignorance wins out.

edit - the woman breastfeeding does not have to be discreet, she has a legal right but I'm sure you and the OP would still try to have her removed. Again, it's no different than being offended that the couple sitting next to you were gay. It has no affect on you.

 

[classy]

Again, like the OP, you need to grow up. It has no affect on you. This family was being discreet. The OP never even mentions seeing the remains just overhearing about it due to his eavesdroppping. He is the type of individual that shouldn't be going to restaurants, let alone an Applebee's, as he needs to lie to a restaurant manager to ensure that people he finds offensive should not be there when in fact, he is the one that should not be there.

Instead of learning from the experience, the OP and you, ignorance wins out.

Its not ignorance. It is not normal to think you are going to eat in a place where in the next booth someone has brought in a cremated body. Give me a break with the political correct bullshit.

I'll concede the eavesdropping argument, but saying someone shouldn't have a problem with someone carrying an urn with a cremated body in a restaurant is a joke.

 

[classy]

Again, like the OP, you need to grow up. It has no affect on you. This family was being discreet. The OP never even mentions seeing the remains just overhearing about it due to his eavesdroppping. He is the type of individual that shouldn't be going to restaurants, let alone an Applebee's, as he needs to lie to a restaurant manager to ensure that people he finds offensive should not be there when in fact, he is the one that should not be there.

Instead of learning from the experience, the OP and you, ignorance wins out.

edit - the woman breastfeeding does not have to be discreet, she has a legal right but I'm sure you and the OP would still try to have her removed. Again, it's no different than being offended that the couple sitting next to you were gay. It has no affect on you.

Dude you are just being fvcking retarded now just trying to lump stuff all together. A gay couple, breast feeding are not charred remains. And its kinda ignorant for you to compare those two to a burned body.

 

[waggy]

what would the 3 that are for kicking them out do if someone was wearing this?


edit: reason i know this is when my mom died my sister had 3 made for my mothers close friends.

 

[waggy]

There was no odor. There was no disturbing t-shirt. There was something like this:

that's a old classic style. a Buddy of mine's father died in a motorycycle wreck about 8 years ago. the urn they got for him was something like this. My father has said when he dies he wants to be cremated and put in a fishing one (he loves to fish).

heh my mother is in a chess case. she loved to play chess.

i think i would like to left in the mountains for bugs and animals to enjoy. yeah seems morbid but its just a empty vessel.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Its not ignorance. It is not normal to think you are going to eat in a place where in the next booth someone has brought in a cremated body. Give me a break with the political correct bullshit.

I'll concede the eavesdropping argument, but saying someone shouldn't have a problem with someone carrying an urn with a cremated body in a restaurant is a joke.

I won't even concede that. Public place, conversations are not private, nor do you have any right to privacy.

 

[novasatori]

Dude you are just being fvcking retarded now just trying to lump stuff all together. A gay couple, breast feeding are not charred remains. And its kinda ignorant for you to compare those two to a burned body.

except its not even really technically a body anymore

who is being ignorant

 

[Cogman]

Dude you are just being fvcking retarded now just trying to lump stuff all together. A gay couple, breast feeding are not charred remains. And its kinda ignorant for you to compare those two to a burned body.

Whats so bad about a burned body? It is probably the most sanitary thing in the entire building. You couldn't see the remains, smell them, hear them, etc. So whats the big deal?

That persons body went though some of the hottest flames we make on this planet, any sort of disease it might have had has been totally destroyed. So the next problem you are having is that "oh, but it is a dead person" to which I say, So? Chances are you or someone around you was eating a dead animal that hasn't been purified like this body has. Why is "dead creature a in a jar" so much more repulsive than "Dead creature b in my mouth."?

 

[moshquerade]

what would the 3 that are for kicking them out do if someone was wearing this?


edit: reason i know this is when my mom died my sister had 3 made for my mothers close friends.

This is a good question that I hope any of those 3 will answer.

 

[NetWareHead]

except its not even really technically a body anymore

who is being ignorant

This. An urn full of ash from this weekend's BBQ or even soil/rocks is more dangerous than cremated ash. The ignorance depicted in this thread is monumental.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Whats so bad about a burned body? It is probably the most sanitary thing in the entire building. You couldn't see the remains, smell them, hear them, etc. So whats the big deal?

That persons body went though some of the hottest flames we make on this planet, any sort of disease it might have had has been totally destroyed. So the next problem you are having is that "oh, but it is a dead person" to which I say, So? Chances are you or someone around you was eating a dead animal that hasn't been purified like this body has. Why is "dead creature a in a jar" so much more repulsive than "Dead creature b in my mouth."?

Because dead creature in a jar used to be a human being and there is a very powerful social stigma associated with death in this country. If nothing else it is creepy. I can definitely understand why someone would be creeped out by the behavior of these people.

I have the ashes of my dog in a wooden box. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with them, scatter them in the corner of the backyard where she liked to dig comes to mind. My sister has the ashes of my Father and she plans to scatter them at sea in some warm tropical paradise. Do you see where I'm going with this? It's not just a box of ashes from your fireplace or a hamburger patty.

Christ, now I'm getting sucked in by this stupid thread...

 

[Cogman]

Because dead creature in a jar used to be a human being and there is a very powerful social stigma associated with death in this country. If nothing else it is creepy. I can definitely understand why someone would be creeped out by the behavior of these people.

I have the ashes of my dog in a wooden box. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with them, scatter them in the corner of the backyard where she liked to dig comes to mind. My sister has the ashes of my Father and she plans to scatter them at sea in some warm tropical paradise. Do you see where I'm going with this? It's not just a box of ashes from your fireplace or a hamburger patty.

Christ, now I'm getting sucked in by this stupid thread...

Some people have powerful social stigmas against gays, blacks, jews, etc. Would you find it OK for those people to leave the restaurant while citing some BS health concern?

So long as these people weren't going around sprinkling grandmas ashes on everyone's plate, I don't see what they did wrong. They were minding their own business, the OP should have done likewise.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Some people have powerful social stigmas against gays, blacks, jews, etc. Would you find it OK for those people to leave the restaurant while citing some BS health concern?

So long as these people weren't going around sprinkling grandmas ashes on everyone's plate, I don't see what they did wrong. They were minding their own business, the OP should have done likewise.

Nice straw man...I can't believe you'd even respond with that quite frankly. Not much of an argument there dude. ZOMG!!! Someone think of the dead people! LOLOLO

I can understand why someone would be creeped out by an urn containing the ashes of a dead loved one while they are trying to enjoy their meal. That's all I'm saying. Why would you bring the ashes to a restaurant? That's just creepy. If my sister suggested we take our Father's ashes to his favorite restaurant I'd do my best to try and talk her out of it. I sure as hell wouldn't feel much like eating that's for sure.

 

[Ichinisan]

If I overheard someone say that they brought the flu, or even a cold virus in a sealed container at the next table I would also enquire with the manager to look into it. If these patrons would have left the urn in a bag, and said nothing at all, there would not have been any problem. Their lack of common decency is what started this by seemingly bragging about what they are doing.

LOL. You just equated the jar of inert ashes to a contagious virus!

I did learn something by posting this: Next time this happens, I’ll take a tip from many of the replies posted and try childish name calling and bullying tactics to and get my way. I can’t wait to see how far that gets me.

Why would you even ask if there was an over-reaction if you were going to reject the consensus?

 

[Bignate603]

Why would you even ask if there was an over-reaction if you were going to reject the consensus?

Because he wasn't really looking for our opinion, he just wanted confirmation that he was justified in ruining something that a family was doing to say goodbye.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Because he wasn't really looking for our opinion, he just wanted confirmation that he was justified in ruining something that a family was doing to say goodbye.

Hopefully they learned their lesson and never attempt to do something like this again.

 

[Cogman]

Nice straw man...I can't believe you'd even respond with that quite frankly. Not much of an argument there dude. ZOMG!!! Someone think of the dead people! LOLOLO

I can understand why someone would be creeped out by an urn containing the ashes of a dead loved one while they are trying to enjoy their meal. That's all I'm saying. Why would you bring the ashes to a restaurant? That's just creepy. If my sister suggested we take our Father's ashes to his favorite restaurant I'd do my best to try and talk her out of it. I sure as hell wouldn't feel much like eating that's for sure.

What strawman? You're position is "Having someones ashes at a restaurant is a big social taboo for some people". Am I right? Am I misrepresenting your position and attacking a weaker form (That is the definition of a strawman)?

I took it to the next step. I said "What if instead of ashes, the person was gay?" Do you deny the fact that for some, being gay is a big social no no? I wasn't saying "You hate gays" I was saying "What if, instead of social no no X it was social taboo Y". That shows an inconsistency in your argument. You support people being expelled because they are doing one thing that is a social no no for some but not for another social taboo.

 

[Capt Caveman]

I did learn something by posting this: Next time this happens, I’ll take a tip from many of the replies posted and try childish name calling and bullying tactics to and get my way. I can’t wait to see how far that gets me.

That's what you did to this family. Instead of asking to be moved to another table, you lied to the restaurant manager to get your way. Seriously, don't eat out anymore. You ruin it for others.

 

[JulesMaximus]

What strawman? You're position is "Having someones ashes at a restaurant is a big social taboo for some people". Am I right? Am I misrepresenting your position and attacking a weaker form (That is the definition of a strawman)?

I took it to the next step. I said "What if instead of ashes, the person was gay?" Do you deny the fact that for some, being gay is a big social no no? I wasn't saying "You hate gays" I was saying "What if, instead of social no no X it was social taboo Y". That shows an inconsistency in your argument. You support people being expelled because they are doing one thing that is a social no no for some but not for another social taboo.

Ashes of a deceased person are not a protected class. You took something I said and made an argument of something completely unrelated.

It's a social no no to fuck dead people too. Just because something is socially unacceptable doesn't mean it's always wrong for society to hold these views.

Racism=wrong
Antisemitism=wrong
Fucking dead people=wrong (but not wrong to stigmatize those who do it)
Bringing the remains of a dead loved one to a restaurant=highly questionable, I can certainly see why some people might have a problem with it anyway.

My .02