Contract of Wifely Expectations

MrBlahh

Senior member
Sep 15, 2004
227
0
0
This is crazy.

Text

Besides stuff like prenups I wonder how many married couples have things similar to this kind of thing
 

Queasy

Moderator<br>Console Gaming
Aug 24, 2001
31,796
2
0
<Stan>Dude, that's fvcked up.</Stan>

On the bright side, at least he excluded anal penetration from his list of demands. :roll:
 

iamwiz82

Lifer
Jan 10, 2001
30,772
13
81
Originally posted by: Queasy
<Stan>Dude, that's fvcked up.</Stan>

On the bright side, at least he excluded anal penetration from his list of demands. :roll:

And 14 GBDs for unexpected! What more could a woman want?!
 

AccruedExpenditure

Diamond Member
May 12, 2001
6,960
7
81
Originally posted by: FoBoT
Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
These expectations don't seem that off the mark to me...

but he didn't address the sammich making requirements

I'm only half joking... though most wouldn't put it in writing, and though most wouldn't be so controlling i'm sure there's an unspoken code of conduct in most relationships... personally i'd end the relationship if the unspoken code of conduct was left unmet...
 

Queasy

Moderator<br>Console Gaming
Aug 24, 2001
31,796
2
0
Originally posted by: FoBoT
Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
These expectations don't seem that off the mark to me...

but he didn't address the sammich making requirements

Yeah, King Xerxes threw out his queen because she wouldn't make him a sammich. This is a well-established rule of marriage.
 

Lord Zado

Senior member
Jan 21, 2005
263
0
0
The thing that makes this funnier is I just finished reading the joke about men standing in 2 lines based on whether or not they were the head of their househould. Guess this guy makes the 2nd line 2 people long :)
 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
0
Some people take the bondage/domination game way over the top. Between two consenting adults, this is not that weird. In the context of a guy charged with kidnapping his wife and kiddie porn, it's totally effed up.
 

Aquaman

Lifer
Dec 17, 1999
25,054
13
0
Well......... she didn't sign it........ but man why would she marry the guy after he shows her the contract :Q

Cheers,
Aquaman
 

slimrhcp

Senior member
Jul 20, 2005
532
0
0
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: slimrhcp
What sort of messed up woman would comply with that?

a messed up one?

Good point! Seriously though, if the wife agreed to all of those provisions, she had probably been abused when she was younger.
 

slatr

Senior member
May 28, 2001
957
2
81
http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.htm

edit: Ill try to just post the text

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: slatr
http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.htm

edit: Ill try to just post the text

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax

That would be an ideal world, but it doesn't happen. :(

**EDIT**
Some of the stuff is over the top. But some of it would be nice. I really like to have peace and quiet after work. :) But again, never happens. I have observed it too many times where it is the exact opposite.