Conservatives to remove liberal bias in bible

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,994
779
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Posted by Amy Sullivan Monday, October 5, 2009 at 10:56 am
128 Comments ? Trackback (2)
This is insane. The guys at Conservapedia (aka, "the trustworthy encyclopedia") have decided to retranslate the Bible in what they're calling the Conservative Bible Project, because "liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations."

And you thought liberal bias was limited to the evil mainstream media. Apparently the early Church fathers had their own problems, because the Conservapediacs are particularly intent on scrubbing the Bible of "liberal" passages they say were inserted into the original canon and therefore shouldn't be considered sacred. Passages like the story of the adulteress whom Jesus saved from being stoned with the famous line: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Conservapedia complains that liberals have used this story to argue against the death penalty. Plus, this Jesus character sounds like a radical moral relativist.

Also among the goals of the project: replace liberal words like "labor" with preferred conservative terms; use concise language instead of "liberal wordiness"; and--my favorite--"explain the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning." Jesus talks about economics more than any other secular subject in the Bible, so they've got their work cut out for them. I look forward to learning the free-market meaning of "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

http://swampland.blogs.time.co...et-bible/?iid=tsmodule

Advantages to a Conservative Bible Online

There are several striking advantages to a conservative approach to translating the Bible online:
?participants learn enormously from the process
?liberal bias - and lack of authenticity - become easier to recognize and address
?by translating online, this utilizes the growing online resources that improve accuracy
supported by conservative principles, the project can be bolder in uprooting and excluding liberal distortions
?the project can adapt quickly to future threats from liberals to biblical integrity
access is free and immediate to the growing internet audience, for their benefit
the ensuing debate would flesh out -- and stop -- the infiltration of churches by liberals pretending to be Christian, much as a vote by legislators exposes the liberals
?this would bring the Bible to a new audience of political types, for their benefit; Bible courses in college Politics Departments would be welcome
?this would debunk the pervasive and hurtful myth that Jesus would be a political liberal today

http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project



I thought this was an Onion article, good job jumping the shark, conservatives :roll:

I think these guys need to look up the words 'sacrilege ', 'hypocrisy', and 'hubris'. This is ridiculous.


As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:[1]

Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[2]

Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[3] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle"

Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[4] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census

Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities
Thus, a project has begun among members of Conservapedia to translate the Bible in accordance with these principles. The translated Bible can be found here.

Ahahaha, liberals use 'big words', we can't have that! Also, Jesus is basically Ronald Reagan, we gotta get rid of those anti-rich parables that he uses.

"It's, uhm, easier for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a welfare queen to get off food stamps"
 

frostedflakes

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2005
7,925
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Slow news day, huh?

Still hilarious/ridiculous. I was almost sure this was going to be an Onion article.
 

dahunan

Lifer
Jan 10, 2002
18,191
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any fucking scumbag that wants to change the bible to fit their needs should be treated like Osama Bin Laden
 

0marTheZealot

Golden Member
Apr 5, 2004
1,692
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You sure you didn't find this on the onion? It seems so incredulous that someone could be that ignorant.
 

jackschmittusa

Diamond Member
Apr 16, 2003
5,972
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Hilarious!

It's my opinion that the Bible is a collection of a few of many made up stories anyway that served an agenda. The people doing this seem to agree that it is OK to keep picking and choosing, and modifying it to suit their agenda.

Can't wait to read the new "trickle down" parable.
 

Red Irish

Guest
Mar 6, 2009
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Originally posted by: dahunan
any fucking scumbag that wants to change the bible to fit their needs should be treated like Osama Bin Laden

Too late, you should have got in before that meeting in Nicaea.
 

Ausm

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
25,213
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I personally don't give a shit what they do to it because I on a highway to hell.
 

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,688
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Originally posted by: dahunan
any fucking scumbag that wants to change the bible to fit their needs should be treated like Osama Bin Laden

This might be the single greatest post in the history of ATPN... assuming of course, that all the underlying irony is intentional.
 

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,688
126
Originally posted by: Pens1566
So, no more Jesus?

No, Jesus is still there, but from historical evidence we now know that he was actually an aggressive type A libertarian investment banker, not a socialist carpenter. Oops.
 

fskimospy

Elite Member
Mar 10, 2006
87,747
54,761
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If anyone wants a good laugh, go check out Rationalwiki's 'best of Conservapedia' article. It's pretty amazing.
 

Harvey

Administrator<br>Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
35,057
67
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Religion is a sham, nothing more than a political power structure based on fear and ignorance. By the way -- King Henry wants a divorce. ;)
 

Lemon law

Lifer
Nov 6, 2005
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Reminds me of those old cartoons lampooning the religious right with a supply side Jesus.

And what do we know, a decade or so later it comes true.

I really wonder how they will handle Jesus driving the money changers out of the temple. What a unconservative thing to do.
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
These are people who believe that an omnipotent being has some interest in being their personal friend. Does this really surprise anyone?
 

ayabe

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2005
7,449
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Originally posted by: eskimospy
If anyone wants a good laugh, go check out Rationalwiki's 'best of Conservapedia' article. It's pretty amazing.

Good stuff.
 

ayabe

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2005
7,449
0
0
Originally posted by: BoberFett
These are people who believe that an omnipotent being has some interest in being their personal friend. Does this really surprise anyone?

It goes beyond that, they believe that every single minutiae of their lives is planned by their "personal friend".
 

TheSlamma

Diamond Member
Sep 6, 2005
7,625
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So is HayZues gonna get married this round or just the old travel around all his life with a bunch of dudes?
 

shira

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2005
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Originally posted by: 0marTheZealot
You sure you didn't find this on the onion? It seems so incredulous that someone could be that ignorant.

If it were The Onion, there would be a paragraph about replacing the "liberal," sad-eyed image of the about-to-be-crucified Jesus dragging the cross on his back with a more cheereful, conservative image (for example, a confident, smiling jesus-warrior with the face of Rush Limbaugh - boldy carrying the cross under his arm).
 

Hayabusa Rider

Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
Jan 26, 2000
50,879
4,268
126
Two dumb things.

First is that someone would do this and the second is that someone would waste their time looking for this crap. :D