Cliques at work in professional atmosphere...

[Special K]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
"Clique" is a word used in place of "I don't have any friends". There are no such things are "cliques". People choose their friends based on those they like, those they have something in common with, those who are fun to be around, fun to talk to, fun to laugh with, capable of intelligent thought, etc. What you view as cliques are simply groups of people who like each other and choose to be together. If you go out to a restaurant and see 4 people at a table are they a clique? Are 4 guys who go to a football game together a clique? They're just groups of friends. If you're on the outside looking in you need to look in a mirror and figure out why.

I disagree. I think a "clique", at least in the high school-ish sense of the word, didn't just refer to a group of friends - it usually meant a group of friends who felt they were better than everyone else, were not friendly towards new people, and also went out of their way to pick on or otherwise harass other people or groups of people. Not every group of friends is like that.

No I was not picked on in high school.

 

[ebaycj]

Originally posted by: Joemonkey

Originally posted by: kmr1212
my work is 90% male. We don't have this problem.

QFMFT

i work in an office w/ 95% women, it's horrible to hear things from all sides.

Are you guys hiring?

 

[ebaycj]

Originally posted by: Regs

Originally posted by: JS80
welcome to life and interacting with human beings :roll:

Their's a popular phrase for this. Easier said than done. Do you really not care what others say about you? Is it not normal to feel a bit uncomfortable in these situations?

No, I really don't care what others say about me. I make damn sure my boss knows I'm kicking ass when it comes to my duties, thats all that really matters at work. If someone brings petty bullsh1t I either confront it or ignore it at my option.

Sure you will feel a bit uncomfortable. Don't be a little whiny b1tch about it though.

 

[Alex]

yeah its true... here its organized by department and its pretty funny cause i'm right in the middle of it kinda...

its a smallish office... there's the admin staff, the executive search staff and the competence check staff (consulting firm) and they basically all just hang out in groups all the time... i'm the only tech staff and i usually hang out with the admin crew or the search crew both of which consist mainly of young cute girls... the competence check department is fscked... there's 2 morbidly obese and detestable women and a no-personlity dumbass dude.... man it can be so annoying dealing with that lot and everyone else in the office seems to dislike them too...

then there's the bosses.... 4 of them in total but they don't mix with the rest of us

 

[UncleWai]

I am working in a TA office with 7 other people in the room. There's only one girl in the room but all of us formed a pretty good bond early on. Now there's this PhD guy who is sucking up on this girl. He always come in randomly and start conversing with her, but he made the rest of us very awkward. It's freaking funny though, yesterday night a TA and I had night class, we came back in the office, saw this PhD guy helping her to grade paper on my friend (the TA takes class with me) desk. I just rofl wtf the whole situation. We just left the office right away. The girl is no top prize but this guy still tries hard. Me and my friend know the girl real well due to us taking the same classes and new to this TA thing together. We are still avoiding to discuss about this situation now, but I think I have to start laughing at this real soon.

I just find it stupid for that guy to even come in the office and tries. He ruins the whole atmosphere in the office when he comes in.

 

[skace]

Nothing a rubber band war can't solve.

 

[y2kc]

Being anti-social isn't a bad thing unless you work in an enviornment where personal relationships figure strongly into advancement. I avoided nonsense at work by being consistant. I wear the same face I did on day one. I stayed away from office romance and never go drinking with the co-workers on friday.... yet (it appears) everyone likes me and I don't feel uncomfortable around anyone. They seem to respect my neutrality...

 

[multiband8303]

WHo the hell cares? At work, to be blunt honest, I get paid to do my job, not make friends. Dpes everyone @ work like me? No. Will everyone at all of your jobs for the rest of your life always like you? Hell No. Can you get respect from your co-workers/peeps, without the "pre-req" of them "liking" you? Absolutely.

I guess what i'm trying to say here is this, screw them. You sound insecure (to be blunt honest) - you still have the job, if they didn't like you that much - you would be gone, end of story. Your insecurity leads them to continue there talk, because it does make an effect, which I'm more then certain displays somehow in your body language/reactions - they see this - and continue with it.

Not only will I say - pretend like you don't care, but actually; don't care. Hopefully you got friends of your own outside of work - and those are the people you can talk to. If you don't, well then....get outside.

 

[pontifex]

my last job was like HS or sometimes even elementary school all over again. I swear, some of the most petty sh!t went on at that place. The worst offenders were probably in their late 50s, if not older.

i seem to recall there was some kind of rumor about me at my last job. i don't know if i ever found out what it was or if it was just so untrue that i just ignored it. i didn't give a sh!t about 95% of the people there anyway, so screw em.

 

[j00fek]

nothing like that here, we make fun of everyone.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Joemonkey

Originally posted by: kmr1212
my work is 90% male. We don't have this problem.

QFMFT

i work in an office w/ 95% women, it's horrible to hear things from all sides.

my 1st job was like that. it was all women for a good while. they were all older for the most part though. you get to hear lots of things - lots of things you didn't want to hear and never want to hear again.

although i do have to say that when i went in i was extremely shy. I'm still shy now but not anywhere near as shy as back then.

 

[TheAdvocate]

Been working professionally for about a decade now in various office environments, and the one I'm in now is exactly what the OP is talking about. It's a smaller office (about 12 people), and everyone got along really well. Then we hired a new guy that is junior to me. He's kinda cynical, and a little odd in terms of his mannerisims, but he's basicly a decent enough guy, IMO. That is to say, I try to get along with everyone I work with, just because it's my nature.

But soon after he started here, he became the office gossip/snoop. All that behind the back stuff has changed the tone of the office, and now people close their doors and try to protect their privacy and their butts (C.Y.A.). Then the new guy overheard me remarking to my boss how I hate that we don't all get along with one another anymore, and now I'm on his sh!tlist, which I find incredibly juvenile. I'm trying to decide whether to confront him about it, or just ignore the situation, cause frankly, I've got things that are actually important to worry about.

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: Regs
Ever notice sometimes going to work is just like going back to high school part II?

Everybody likes to talk about everybody else and nobody minds their own business. I keep to myself at work and I do not want to be involved in any discussion about my co-employees. I think it's childish and unprofessional. Though there is always someone who wants to either start rumors or "bust" on you to make themselves feel better.

It seems like the "quiet" ones are always a target. If you're not in a "Clique" at work you're always the one to get singled out and abused.

How do you face this problem at the work place? Do you laugh at it and move on? Complain about it to your supervisor or human resource representative? Or do you simply rise above it?

exlax in their coffee

 

[Regs]

Originally posted by: multiband8303
WHo the hell cares? At work, to be blunt honest, I get paid to do my job, not make friends. Dpes everyone @ work like me? No. Will everyone at all of your jobs for the rest of your life always like you? Hell No. Can you get respect from your co-workers/peeps, without the "pre-req" of them "liking" you? Absolutely.

I guess what i'm trying to say here is this, screw them. You sound insecure (to be blunt honest) - you still have the job, if they didn't like you that much - you would be gone, end of story. Your insecurity leads them to continue there talk, because it does make an effect, which I'm more then certain displays somehow in your body language/reactions - they see this - and continue with it.

Not only will I say - pretend like you don't care, but actually; don't care. Hopefully you got friends of your own outside of work - and those are the people you can talk to. If you don't, well then....get outside.

If there is one thing I hate more than a miserable little pet-weasel its people who act high and mighty and project their crappy little lives on to others.