Classic Simpsons quotes

[HammerCurl]

I don't even know what got me starting thinking about this one, haven't watched simpsons in a while:

Jebediah: "People, our search is over. On this site we shall build a new town, where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets."

Shelbyville Manhattan: "yes, and marry our cousins."

Jebediah: "What are you talking about Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins?"

Shelbyville Manhattan: "Cause they're so attractive. I thought that was the whole point of this journey."

Jebediah: "Absolutely not."

Shelbyville Manhattan: "I tell you I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins."


Probably my favorite exchange from the whole series. 2nd goes to all scenes involving Moe. "I'll do anything Mr. Gay Man, ANYTHING"

 

[Jschmuck2]

"Hmm. He came to life. Good for him."

 

[KeithTalent]

I still think of this one whenever I eat pork in any form:

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

:laugh:

KT

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

I bent my Wookie

 

[LS20]

"Nobody makes love to Max Power. You just strap yourself in and... FEEL THE Gs"

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

 

[Daishiki]

"Ah yes, we were talking about the land of chocolate?"
"That was ten minutes ago!"

 

[dmw16]

Damnit! That show used to be so good. Damn you Fox!

 

[Safeway]

Ralphie says something like, "The doctor told me I have nose bleeds because I pick my nose," and then he also said, "My mouth tastes like burning!" 74

 

[SirStev0]

The only people that wear Hawaiian shirts are gay guys and big fat party animals...

 

[mugs]

From Marge vs the Monorail

Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ynzyzi3pME4

 

[SirStev0]

Originally posted by: Safeway
Ralphie says something like, "The doctor told me I have nose bleeds because I pick my nose," and then he also said, "My mouth tastes like burning!" 74

The doctor told me my nose would stop bleeding if I kept my finger out of there...

Hey Ralph how are the purple ones?
They taste like burning...

 

[blackdogdeek]

these are some of my favorites from memory:

dental plan
lisa needs braces
dental plan
lisa needs braces
dental plan
lisa needs braces

something something then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe

it's tomato soup served ice cold!

i was saying boo-urns

hello, everyone, except homer

[after chief wiggum carelessly throws the match from his freshly-lit victory cigar into the hotel room filled with gas] oh right, the gas!

who needs that kwik-e-mart; that kwik-e-mart is real...doh!

april foo* [huge explosion from homer opening up the beer that bart had shaken all day]

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: Safeway
Ralphie says something like, "The doctor told me I have nose bleeds because I pick my nose," and then he also said, "My mouth tastes like burning!" 74

i think it's more like:

so the doctor said i wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if i just kept my finger out of there

other ones from this episode (ralph loves lisa):

ralph: it says 'i choo-choo-choose you' and there's a picture of a train

bart: you can see the exact moment where his heart breaks

lisa: that story isn't suitable for children.
wiggum: really? i keep my pants on in this version.

Lisa: But what if he wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he wants to kiss?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if...
Bart: You don't want to know how far I'll go.

 

[purbeast0]

ralphie: ewww daddy this tomacco tastes like grandma!
wiggum: ralphie no it doesn't, give it to me

*wiggum takes a bite and spits it*

wiggum: OH MY GOD ... it DOES taste like grandma!

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek

Originally posted by: Safeway
Ralphie says something like, "The doctor told me I have nose bleeds because I pick my nose," and then he also said, "My mouth tastes like burning!" 74

i think it's more like:
so the doctor said i wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if i just kept my finger out of there

Yea, I really butchered the quotes. I don't watch The Simpsons very often. 81

 

[homercles337]

Originally posted by: Safeway
Ralphie says something like, "The doctor told me I have nose bleeds because I pick my nose," and then he also said, "My mouth tastes like burning!" 74

Actually, its when he is trying to woo lisa, "So the doctor says i wont get anymore nose bleeds if i just keep my finger outta there!"

Homer to lisa: "In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

 

[datwater]

"I'm going out to my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for 10 minutes!"

 

[KeithTalent]

Lisa: Sorry, Dad, we do believe in you, we really do.
Bart: It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!



KT

 

[jman19]

Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down.

Cloud goes up, cloud goes down, cloud goes up, cloud goes down.

Intercom: Doctor Riviera, Doctor Nick Riviera. Please report to the coroner immediately!
Dr. Nick: The coroner. I'm so sick of that guy! Well, see you in the operating place!

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Homer dressed as Ganesh: "All will die!"

 

[benzylic]

Doh!

The next one I cant remember if it was Rod or Tod so I'll just use Tod
Bart: Don't make this gay.
Tod: Whats gay mean?
Bart: Uh....It means you were scared but now you're not.
Tod: Hey dad I'M GAY! I'M GAY!

 

[PepePeru]

Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt,
but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until
I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table.
The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.


Bart: [reading] "BEER GOGGLES: See life through the eyes of a drunk."
[puts them on]
[Selma becomes a foxy lady]
Selma: You're charming the pants off of me.
Bart: [removing glasses] What did you say, Aunt Selma?
Selma: I said take off those damn glasses!

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

(Homer dancing on the dugout, minus his shirt)

Ralph Wiggum: Daddy, that man has boobs like Mommy!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah.... I wish.

 

[ranmaniac]

"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"