Christians and atheists overlap in values

lyssword

Diamond Member
Dec 15, 2005
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If we could pretend that there exists a map (lets say imaginary excel table) where points are counted of how much various intellectual views are matched, we would find Christians and atheists share a lot.

Of course not all differences/similarities are the same weight, as the big one, serving God, immediately deducts 50% from the match, and putting them below Muslims on "Ideology match". But what if could, so to speak, drop the "lowest score" ?

Ok, I know this will sound stupid, but it has dawned on me that modern Christianity isn't too hard on atheists, and they share quite a lot with modern atheist-humanists. Sure the atheists have to endure reminders that they will go to hell and are serving devil, but its nothing like going to jail or execution if you leave Islam in some cases.

Am I being too ethnocentric? Is there any ex-Muslim examples that could change my mind?

Some perhaps related OKcupid data

*probably should have posted this in "discussion club" section. Mods feel free to move
 
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disappoint

Lifer
Dec 7, 2009
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Oh boy, another religion thread. It will probably be fine until the folks who wear their heart on their sleeve and get emotionally worked up come in because they think their beliefs define who they are and take disagreement personally.

As to your point that Christians and atheists are more alike than some might care to admit, yes I agree. There have been many people who have converted from one to the other. I have even heard of pastors who are secretly atheist but dare not tell anyone for fear of losing their job, lodgings, friends or even family.

I have kind of a funny story to tell regarding atheist/christians.

I was brought up Christian myself. Went to Sunday school as an extracurricular activity at the insistence of my parents. Did the holy communion when I was 9. Went to church with parents, but i didn't get much more involved than that. As I grew older I participated more in academia than religion as that is where my interests took me.

So anyway I met this very religious lady who was a tech and we became friends. She was a very nice person to talk to and we talked about all sorts of things, being very religious she would take every opportunity to get me more involved in her church and so I went to her church with her a few times.

One day she asked me if I pray. I told her no I don't. She asked why not. I said because it doesn't make any sense to me. She asked how so?

I said because if God is omniscient (all knowing), then he would know everything I could say, and there is no point in me telling an omniscient being anything. I mean if this being can create the entire universe, this world and all it's inhabitants, who am I to tell him what to do? I'd rather listen and learn from such a being than try to tell it what I think he should do. She muttered something like your God is arrogant or something which didn't make any sense to me but the conversation ended there as other duties needed to be tended to.

So I go to church with her and at the church the pastor up at the bully pulpit starts saying to the crowd:

"You should all pray, God is always listening, if you think you shouldn't pray that's just the devil telling you what to do!"

Right away she clapped and cheered him on. (this church is different than the one I was brought up in as the audience cheers and claps vs. my childhood church which was more reserved where everyone was quiet until there was singing involved)

So anyway my thought seeing this display is 1) They must have discussed my views at some point, and 2) The pastor came up with a (in my view) really terrible default argument they seem to use where if they have no real logical reasoning they tend to fall back on the usual scapegoat, yet another imagined being the devil made him do it.

I don't have an evil bone in my body, I don't get my ideas from any devil thank you very much. It isn't evil to think this way. It just... makes... sense. If the religious folks arguments make sense I will jump at the chance to agree with them all the same.

My immediate thought was: "This guy doesn't think I'm evil, it's a bull@#* argument to protect their church and it's money making system from outside invaders with ideas that could disrupt their congregations beliefs so they have to squash any contrary ideas as quickly as they can."

But invoking the devil as an argument? That just smacks of desperation to me. They seem to prey on folks that have either no time, ability or inclination to reflect on their beliefs to see if they make sense in order to cash in by asking for donations. If they use that money to help others (and they do) then I find that to be commendable but if they could just dispense with the bull___ I would respect them a lot more.

I suppose they simply might not know any better and if that's the case I forgive them.

I don't think they really can come up with a better argument than blaming the devil because there simply isn't one. Such a system is painting itself into a corner and it's days may be numbered through no fault of anyone's but their own in my view. How long can they keep people in the dark when information and knowledge spreads more easily now than at anytime in human history with technology such as the internet?

Granted there is as much misinformation as information on the internet. Maybe that's the work of evil. But by evil I mean people who are still in the dark about reality but have no qualms about making their voices herd (little pun there couldn't resist sry).

Look I'm not saying there is no God, or purpose to the universe. There may be, there might not be. Whether there is or isn't, I just don't think those sorts of people are the ones who are best suited to finding that out. Unless they choose to educate themselves on the subject (as well as some other subjects). Now is as good a time as any to step away from the bully pulpit and further your knowledge on this or any other subject that interests you.

In the interest of my own personal growth, I shall now do just that. For I don't tell others what to do if I'm not prepared to do so myself. Good luck, and may knowledge bless America. (and the rest of the world too).
 
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Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
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Imagine how you would feel if someone insists on insulting you and your family, repeatedly.

Well, let's think about it. I'm a nice person and happy. You come along and insult me. I'm going to think there's something wrong with your head. I will see right away that you aren't really talking about me. I am nothing at all like what you say I am. You have to see in me something you feel about yourself. Can you see any other way a rational person would feel?

Now there are a lot of people out there I'd imagine might react differently but the only way one can explain why they don't react the rational way I described above is if they already carry the feeling that the insult actually applies.

In short, in order to be insulted by others, one has to have emotional scars, often deeply hidden, put there by being shamed at a time in ones life before one had the independence and personal strength to realize that insults are lies.

This is why a real Christian turns the other cheek. He knows that God loves him and that's all that matters. Insults come from Satin, or seeing the damaged self out there.
 

Pray To Jesus

Diamond Member
Mar 14, 2011
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Well, let's think about it. I'm a nice person and happy. You come along and insult me. I'm going to think there's something wrong with your head. I will see right away that you aren't really talking about me. I am nothing at all like what you say I am. You have to see in me something you feel about yourself. Can you see any other way a rational person would feel?

You're saying you won't feel anything. Interesting.
 

disappoint

Lifer
Dec 7, 2009
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Well, let's think about it. I'm a nice person and happy. You come along and insult me. I'm going to think there's something wrong with your head. I will see right away that you aren't really talking about me. I am nothing at all like what you say I am. You have to see in me something you feel about yourself. Can you see any other way a rational person would feel?

Now there are a lot of people out there I'd imagine might react differently but the only way one can explain why they don't react the rational way I described above is if they already carry the feeling that the insult actually applies.

In short, in order to be insulted by others, one has to have emotional scars, often deeply hidden, put there by being shamed at a time in ones life before one had the independence and personal strength to realize that insults are lies.

This is why a real Christian turns the other cheek. He knows that God loves him and that's all that matters. Insults come from Satin, or seeing the damaged self out there.

Well said! :thumbsup: Three cheers for one of my peers!
 
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disappoint

Lifer
Dec 7, 2009
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382
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While some are well said
perhaps even well read
with others the point
flies over their head

some might say it does not matter
if they say you're mad as a hatter

you know yourself better
than any go getter

this reminds me of a quote
a wise man once wrote

I am not the genius they say I am
I am not the idiot they say I am
I just am
 

Pray To Jesus

Diamond Member
Mar 14, 2011
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I Am that I Am (אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה, ʾehyeh ʾašer ʾehyeh)
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,744
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You're saying you won't feel anything. Interesting.

I'm not saying I won't feel anything. I'm saying that if somebody insults me and it bothers me it's because I already bought in to what they are saying, and if I believe what they say because I heard it long ago, my job is to deal with the matter internally. The other person is just doing what he does because he is sick. I can only deal with what is wrong with me. If I let some sick fuck mess with my mind it's nobody's problem but my own. There is a difference between knowing thing, what the facts are about oneself, and being perfect.

My friend LunarRay, for example is quite remarkable in my opinion. He is a Christian and knows there is a God and he never worries about anything. I knew a psychotherapist that had done a tremendous amount of therapy himself and was sure he had discovered 99.999% of the lies he was told that he was worthless as a child. He was the same way. He was 99.999%sure he was OK. I'm only 99.999% sure it can be done. I have seen the evidence.

The state of feeling nothing is fear. It is the constriction of all feeling, maximum emotional repression and suppression, and precedes the memory of traumatic events often times in therapy.

The rage one can feel at being put down by others if expressed externally back at others is evil, but when that rage is felt in a therapeutic setting with the aim of bringing it to the same pitch that it was when first experienced can throw a person into reliving those events. Then you have the actual data consciously, of how you learned to hate ourselves. One can then bring the adult mind into the picture and heal the child within. Finding such a setting, however, isn't so easy.
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,744
6,761
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While some are well said
perhaps even well read
with others the point
flies over their head

some might say it does not matter
if they say you're mad as a hatter

you know yourself better
than any go getter

this reminds me of a quote
a wise man once wrote

I am not the genius they say I am
I am not the idiot they say I am
I just am

nice
 

Pray To Jesus

Diamond Member
Mar 14, 2011
3,622
0
0
I'm not saying I won't feel anything. I'm saying that if somebody insults me and it bothers me it's because I already bought in to what they are saying, and if I believe what they say because I heard it long ago, my job is to deal with the matter internally.

All I see is you trying to explain your lack of emotion. What would you feel has an easy answer.

Also, just because something bothers a person doesn't automatically mean they believe it's true. It's pretty interesting that you actually think that way.
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,744
6,761
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Pray To Jesus: All I see is you trying to explain your lack of emotion. What would you feel has an easy answer.

M: The science says that if you have a conservative brain you will see a low effort thinking answer that you already believe, that gives you the warm and fuzzies. Such a truthiness carries within it its own certainty.

I gave you an answer which if you had properly read and comprehended could not possibly have lead you to the conclusion you reached. What you did was to assume that because you feel negative emotions when you and,or your family is insulted that that is the proper response to have. You reject the notion that insults are triggering past feelings you internalized and that people who have worked through those feelings and do not feel as you do, must feel nothing and be emotionally dead, rather than more emotionally healthy and feeling good things. You are protecting yourself from a truth you do not want to believe. What I said was that IF I react like you do, I know intellectually what is going on emotionally. You do not see think in this way yourself so you see only that which confirms a different belief.

One can see this all the time in the extremes. An example of folk with really bad self images are ones who get in bar fights. They are out there looking for perceived insults because they want somebody to hurt like they are hurting inside. If they understood why they hurt and stopped hurting others, they could use their pain to heal, to remember what happened to them.

PTJ: Also, just because something bothers a person doesn't automatically mean they believe it's true. It's pretty interesting that you actually think that way.

M: What I find interesting is that I have given you what psychotherapy has revealed about the human condition, not just my opinion, but you offer nothing at all but yours. If something doesn't bother a person because they believe it's true why does it bother them? I hope you aren't saying that if somebody calls you an asshole and it sets off a negative reaction you aren't actually saying to yourself the only thing that can be an asshole is the anus itself and I'm not that so this makes me mad. I would be glad to hear any reasoning you have for the position you assert here, however.
 

AViking

Platinum Member
Sep 12, 2013
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I think it's far too complex. Personally I have found the religion isn't even the deciding factor. In fact it's very misleading. Far more important are where you are from. An American Christian is VASTLY different than a European Christian. Their attitudes about sex, women, and the bible are in many ways opposite. Take a Catholic from Italy or South America and they have nothing in common with an American Catholic. The notion of taking the bible literally is pretty American.

If you take a Jewish or Christian woman from a Muslim nation she is very similar to a Muslim woman from that same country. They both struggle to date in Europe for example since they have very weird perceptions of the dating world. They simply come across as sexist and closed minded and that doesn't work. Geography and local culture trumps religion. Granted you're dealing with non-secular nations so there's a lot of overlap.
 

alzan

Diamond Member
May 21, 2003
3,860
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I think it would be better stated that 'Peoples values overlap regardless of creed, race, geographical boundaries, politics, etc.'

Religion, politics, nationality, et al are merely layers of the onion; values exist at the core and make their presence known throughout the layers.
 
Nov 30, 2006
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All I see is you trying to explain your lack of emotion. What would you feel has an easy answer.

Also, just because something bothers a person doesn't automatically mean they believe it's true. It's pretty interesting that you actually think that way.
You need to understand where Moonie is coming from. This should help you. Less than 1% of adults are self-actualized and Moonie happens to be one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-actualization

Maslow's self-actualizing characteristics
  • Efficient perceptions of reality. Self-actualizers are able to judge situations correctly and honestly. They are very sensitive to the fake and dishonest, and are free to see reality 'as it is'.
  • Comfortable acceptance of self, others, nature. Self-actualizers accept their own human nature with all its flaws. The shortcomings of others and the contradictions of the human condition are accepted with humor and tolerance.
  • Reliant on own experiences and judgement. Independent, not reliant on culture and environment to form opinions and views
  • Spontaneous and natural. True to oneself, rather than being how others want
  • Task centering. Most of Maslow's subjects had a mission to fulfill in life or some task or problem ‘beyond’ themselves (instead of outside of themselves) to pursue. Humanitarians such as Albert Schweitzer and Mother Teresa are considered to have possessed this quality.
  • Autonomy. Self-actualizers are free from reliance on external authorities or other people. They tend to be resourceful and independent.
  • Continued freshness of appreciation. The self-actualizer seems to constantly renew appreciation of life's basic goods. A sunset or a flower will be experienced as intensely time after time as it was at first. There is an "innocence of vision", like that of an artist or child.
  • Profound interpersonal relationships. The interpersonal relationships of self-actualizers are marked by deep loving bonds.
  • Comfort with solitude. Despite their satisfying relationships with others, self-actualizing persons value solitude and are comfortable being alone.[18]
  • Non-hostile sense of humor. This refers to the ability to laugh at oneself.
  • Peak experiences. All of Maslow's subjects reported the frequent occurrence of peak experiences (temporary moments of self-actualization). These occasions were marked by feelings of ecstasy, harmony, and deep meaning. Self-actualizers reported feeling at one with the universe, stronger and calmer than ever before, filled with light, beautiful and good, and so forth.
  • Socially compassionate. Possessing humanity
  • Few friends. Few close intimate friends rather than many surface relationships
 

moonbogg

Lifer
Jan 8, 2011
10,731
3,440
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Of course their values overlap. Just like morals, they get them from the same place, but they won't tell you that.
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,081
136
Almost everyone thats an atheist now probably came from some sort of Christian or Jewish background.
You dont give up everything you learned in one fell swoop. It takes generations.
 

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,986
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I think it's far too complex. Personally I have found the religion isn't even the deciding factor. In fact it's very misleading. Far more important are where you are from. An American Christian is VASTLY different than a European Christian. Their attitudes about sex, women, and the bible are in many ways opposite. Take a Catholic from Italy or South America and they have nothing in common with an American Catholic. The notion of taking the bible literally is pretty American.
I have not found that to be the case at all!! In fact, there is diversity and that is what makes us stronger! Yet what you are saying is misleading when comparing European Catholics to American Catholics!
In fact when you say there attitude about sex, women and the Bible are different, that leads me to believe that you don`t associate with or know any real true Catholics or people from various religions!
Due to my upbringing and the fact that I am European and a Jew and a cantor in the catholic church -- you are just plain wrong!
 

Screech

Golden Member
Oct 20, 2004
1,203
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I would go so far as to say that most westernized people have more or less the same basic values ...... freedom of religion.....freedom of speech (more or less....obviously there are always assholes who want something banned but they are usually the minority).....don't murder, rape, steal, etc.....these are not christian or atheist values, I think, so much as this:

http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/be-cool-dont-be-an-asshole.jpg