Children say the darndest things!

Jokersmoker

Text Enjoy
Jan 25, 2000
10,155
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl
stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;it was physically impossible. The
little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".The teacher asked,
"What if Jonah went to hell? The little girl replied,"Then you ask him"



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused
and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat,
or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, They will in a
minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little
boy(the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy
Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It
wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch
him."



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs
white,
Mom?"Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white. The little girl
thought about this revelation for while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL
of grandma's hairs are white?"



A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy
kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy
picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on
the bottom."



The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think
how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown-up and say, There's
Jennifer she's a lawyer,' or "That's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A
small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher.
She's dead."
:D Jokersmoker
 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
They also EAT the darndest things!!


BTW: You may wanna take a minute and edit that up a bit so people can READ it without it being a puzzle..
rolleye.gif
 

bmacd

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
10,869
1
0
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
They also EAT the darndest things!!


BTW: You may wanna take a minute and edit that up a bit so people can READ it without it being a puzzle..
rolleye.gif

i HATE email forwards.

-=bmacd=-
 

iamme

Lifer
Jul 21, 2001
21,058
3
0
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white. The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said,

"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


I like that one :D

(edited for your reading convenience ;))
 

iamme

Lifer
Jul 21, 2001
21,058
3
0
btw, Jokersmoker, how come I never see you post any replies to any threads? I only see one line in Hot Deals posts.

Speak, man!

:D
 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
They also EAT the darndest things!!
I was offered some chips once by some small children. I declined, because I had noticed how they themselves were eating them. Insert hand into chip bag, remove hand, stick whole hand in mouth, repeat.

 

Cuda1447

Lifer
Jul 26, 2002
11,757
0
71
Originally posted by: Jokersmoker
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl
stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;it was physically impossible. The
little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".The teacher asked,
"What if Jonah went to hell? The little girl replied,"Then you ask him"



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused
and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat,
or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, They will in a
minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little
boy(the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."



Those are the ones I like!
 

Evadman

Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Feb 18, 2001
30,990
5
81
A hint for any soon to be or recent parents:

It is not a Fire Truck, it is a Fire Engine. Trust me on this :D
 

Cyberian

Diamond Member
Jun 17, 2000
9,999
1
0
Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Wasn't there a TV show along this line many years ago?
Yeah - I think Art Linkletter hosted it, but you are probably far too young to remember it.

 

ohtwell

Lifer
Jan 6, 2002
14,516
9
81
Originally posted by: Cyberian
Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Wasn't there a TV show along this line many years ago?
Yeah - I think Art Linkletter hosted it, but you are probably far too young to remember it.

There was also one hosted by Bill Cosby not that long ago. :)


: ) Amanda
 

ohtwell

Lifer
Jan 6, 2002
14,516
9
81
Originally posted by: Evadman
A hint for any soon to be or recent parents:

It is not a Fire Truck, it is a Fire Engine. Trust me on this :D
Heed Evadman's warning!

When my nephew first learned the word "truck" he got in trouble because his parents thought he said a naughty word. I don't have to tell you which one. :p:)


: ) Amanda
 

Evadman

Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Feb 18, 2001
30,990
5
81
Heed Evadman's warning!

When my nephew first learned the word "truck" he got in trouble because his parents thought he said a naughty word. I don't have to tell you which one. :p:)


: ) Amanda

I got more sig material! woot!


Some people call them "cars" or "trucks;" I call them "dimensional transmogrifiers" because

they change three-dimensional cats into two-dimensional ones.
 

DanFungus

Diamond Member
Jul 27, 2001
5,857
0
0
Originally posted by: Evadman
Heed Evadman's warning!

When my nephew first learned the word "truck" he got in trouble because his parents thought he said a naughty word. I don't have to tell you which one. :p:)


: ) Amanda

I got more sig material! woot!


Some people call them "cars" or "trucks;" I call them "dimensional transmogrifiers" because

they change three-dimensional cats into two-dimensional ones.


hahahhahahahahah

the above ones are funny too :)
 

ohtwell

Lifer
Jan 6, 2002
14,516
9
81
Originally posted by: Evadman
Heed Evadman's warning!

When my nephew first learned the word "truck" he got in trouble because his parents thought he said a naughty word. I don't have to tell you which one. :p:)


: ) Amanda

I got more sig material! woot!


Some people call them "cars" or "trucks;" I call them "dimensional transmogrifiers" because

they change three-dimensional cats into two-dimensional ones.
What part is sig material?


: ) Amanda