• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Catholic Wedding w/ mass-What to expect?

N

nickbits

Diamond Member
My wife and I are atheist and are going to my brother's catholic wedding (with mass). What kinds of religious stuff can I expect to be forced to partake in (specially for her because she is a die hard atheist and has already started complaining)?

I am best man and my wife is strictly a guest.

Besides praying, I think they do communion? Is that it? Do they try to give communion to guests? Is the proper way to refuse it to cross your arms to your collar bone?

Also how long is it going to be? Every wedding I've been to has been about 1/2 hr but I read catholic weddings are generally 3/4 to 1 1/2 hr. Is that about right?

Thanks.
 
This is pretty common sense stuff.. The duration is variable depending on the specific church. I've been to some Catholic weddings that were 45 mins, some that were 2 hours.

As for the rest, you aren't expected to do anything. It's simple, just relax and be respectful. Stand when others stand, sit when they sit, kneel when they kneel. You're not forced to pretend you're a practicing member.
 
Boredom, and a nice romp in the coat closet with one of the bridesmaids, or maybe the bride herself.
 
what to expect? being bored as fuck until the party after.

NO you do not do communion. IF she is going to complain leave her the fuck home. why have someone with a negative vibe and who is going to bitch and complain ruin someones day?
 
Assuming you can enter without brandishing your "I love Jesus" tattoo, you should expect the wrath of an angry god.
 
nickbits said:
My wife and I are atheist and are going to my brother's catholic wedding (with mass). What kinds of religious stuff can I expect to be forced to partake in (specially for her because she is a die hard atheist and has already started complaining)?

I am best man and my wife is strictly a guest.

Besides praying, I think they do communion? Is that it? Do they try to give communion to guests? Is the proper way to refuse it to cross your arms to your collar bone?

Also how long is it going to be? Every wedding I've been to has been about 1/2 hr but I read catholic weddings are generally 3/4 to 1 1/2 hr. Is that about right?

Thanks.
Click to expand...

My mom is Catholic and even though I'm Atheist, I go to mass with her when I visit because it makes her happy.

There will be a lot of standing and then sitting back down. I'd go ahead and participate in that just to be respectful.

For communion, do not participate. Just stay sitting in your chair.

When they kneel, I wouldn't kneel either. Just stay sitting.

The experience won't kill you or convert you, I promise 😛

Should last about an hour or a little more.
 
nickbits said:
My wife and I are atheist and are going to my brother's catholic wedding (with mass). What kinds of religious stuff can I expect to be forced to partake in (specially for her because she is a die hard atheist and has already started complaining)?

I am best man and my wife is strictly a guest.

Besides praying, I think they do communion? Is that it? Do they try to give communion to guests? Is the proper way to refuse it to cross your arms to your collar bone?

Also how long is it going to be? Every wedding I've been to has been about 1/2 hr but I read catholic weddings are generally 3/4 to 1 1/2 hr. Is that about right?

Thanks.
Click to expand...

My experience with Catholic Churches is that visitors are not expected to participate in Communion. Nor, are they expected to participate in any of the other religious activities. (Though, by now, my experiences are a bit dated.)

Many visitors choose to stand, sit, or kneel at the same time as the other worshippers. Though, I"ve never seen any visitors forced to do anything in a Catholic Church.

If your wife is uncomfortable with religious services, you might consider having her skip the mass and just go to the reception.

I'm not up on Wedding Etiquette. But as Best Man, I wouldn't expect to be able to sit with your wife during the wedding service. Traditionally, I think that you have an obligation to propose a toast at the reception. Can't remember other obligations.

If my memory is correct, you are spot on with your time expectations.

Seriously, if you think that your wife might be uncomfortable at the church, just tell her to meet you at the reception...

Best of luck,
Uno
 
Be prepared to be bored and entertained by the antics and going on. Just don't giggle too noticeably.

I did the communion thing once when a friend went on an attempted conversion spree: Grape juice and some kind of flavorless paper-thin wafer. So I guess that means I've joined the rest of the world's communion-takers as a symbolic cannibal. Yay.
 
Maybe you might want to try a taste of Gods flesh, and a sip of his blood.
At the very least be respectful of the others there, and leave your wife at home.
 
Sit when the other people sit, stand when they stand, kneel when they kneel. That's all you have to do. You don't have to follow along in the prayers, parrot the inane responses, sing or take communion. You'll be expected to show a modicum of respect to the brides/grooms beliefs, you won't be expected to share them.
 
I'm assuming that this is a modern mass, not a traditional Latin mass wedding. The things you're concerned about are more related to the traditional Latin mass. If you don't want communion you just politely ignore it. Communion is only for catholic guests.

Congrats to your brother & wife-to-be

Oh, and tell your wife not to talk about being atheist unless she really wants to get talked to at length by people who want to convert her.
 
Order of the Rite for Celebrating Marriage During Mass

Don't forget to bring Eco-friendly confetti for the newly weds.

ecoparti_2215_19264820
 
nickbits said:
My wife and I are atheist and are going to my brother's catholic wedding (with mass). What kinds of religious stuff can I expect to be forced to partake in (specially for her because she is a die hard atheist and has already started complaining)?

I am best man and my wife is strictly a guest.

Besides praying, I think they do communion? Is that it? Do they try to give communion to guests? Is the proper way to refuse it to cross your arms to your collar bone?

Also how long is it going to be? Every wedding I've been to has been about 1/2 hr but I read catholic weddings are generally 3/4 to 1 1/2 hr. Is that about right?

Thanks.
Click to expand...

I grew up Catholic and still have to attend the odd service due to a wedding/funeral.

They will do communion - just stay in your seat (same with her). Personally, I sit/stand/kneel with the rest, though others do sit during the kneeling portion. Just make sure to stand when others do, otherwise it feels awkward as fuck.

And yes - they are quite a bit longer. Basically a 30-45 minute mass tacked onto the usual wedding length.

The best course of action - discuss this with your wife, then confirm with your brother. Tell him that you're not sure how to handle things. You're all family, and you're his best man. The conversation is not that awkward.
 
Kneel, stand, sing, kneel, stand, sing, guilt trip, guilt trip, followed by gluttony and a festive orgy with the dark prince.
 
Thanks for your input guys.

I have considered having her skip the ceremony but I'll see. If it was anyone else I'd skip it too.
 
Jeff7 said:
Be prepared to be bored and entertained by the antics and going on. Just don't giggle too noticeably.

I did the communion thing once when a friend went on an attempted conversion spree: Grape juice and some kind of flavorless paper-thin wafer. So I guess that means I've joined the rest of the world's communion-takers as a symbolic cannibal. Yay.
Click to expand...
To Catholics, it's not symbolic. It actually turned into the body of Christ & blood of Christ.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transubstantiation

You *are* a cannibal!
 
Hey Nick, I hope your dress shoes fit well, cause you and the groomsmen are going to be doing alot of standing!

And I'd just tell your wife to meet you at the reception, or she can wait outside, smoke, derp derp, or take pictures until the ceremony is over.

Don't worry, there are always some dads or old timers that are outside too waiting for it to end. So she won't be the only one bored.
 
My dad's family is catholic and we never partake in the communion or kneeling. We just sit politely and try to not fall asleep. We do stand when appropriate, like when the bride enters or when the wedding party leaves. The hardest part is avoiding the forced sodomy, bu the church has lightened up in recent years.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top