Thanks for all the replies guys, it seems you're all as stumped as I.
as for some of your answers
RWD- I wasn't kidding, its out. The dude is giving his kid a free car in the $50K range, if he says RWD is out, its out!
American Made- bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
TT- way to weak, and a little to impracticle
Maxima, Lincoln LS, prelude, camrey, passat!?!? No where NEAR S4 class.
RS4- decent idea, but i looked into it, and the one source i found pegged it at around $63K, please proove me wrong.
330xi w/AWD- I'll push this one again, but the last time i brought it up it was kinda laughed off as a 3-series (not by me!! both my parents car's combined don't cost as much as a 330)
CL TypeS, Viggen, etc- I said no RWD, and peforming at least near an S4. There's basically no way to do that with FWD, hell i get torque steer on my 140hp sentra SE-R, and i've got a LSD.
Impreza- I'm gonna make sure we at least test drive this car when it comes over. I've been an imprezza fan for years, and i bet its a really nice car. I think the only reason the magazines are ragging on it is because its a dumbed down version for americans. But it still kicks some ass, just not compared to the true-blue imprezzas.
Jag X-type: good tip, i'll look into it.
SUV's- eff off and die (don't take that personally)
thanks for the info, anyone got anything else?
bart