Can I get a guy's view and

[Phoenix86]

Originally posted by: Hammer

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Did we get Syringered by a girl?

yes

:spider;

 

[Detayned1447]

I know that if it was me and my girlfriend broke up with me, that is exactly how I would feel. So if you believe that he felt strongly about you, then yes he is probably thinking the same thing. And I hope that if you dated for that long that he did feel that way.

 

[TravisT]

At this point, I have read many of the responses. But of the ones I did read I agree with for the most part. One part of me as a person feeling sorry for you tells me to suggest that you try to patch things up yourself.

But the other side worries me a little bit. I am assuming right now you don't live with him, you spend quite a bit of time together on the phone and in real life. Well, that is great and all, but consider that when you get married things can change. Typically those arguments may not happen more frequently, but they tend to be worse it seems when they do happen because you can't just hang up or leave for 2 days in a marriage. Particularly when kids are in the equation.

So you know, I know before I married my wife we had a few arguments here and there. But never once did I think about breaking up with her over it. And certainly i'm not saying we had the perfect relationship. But i've had the relationships where I felt it was bumpy but that I loved the person. I look back now and realize how much worse things would have been had I chose to take the next step with those individuals.

This could be for the best. It could simply be that this person isn't the person for you. But by all means, if it is, don't give up and don't let arguments put your relationship on hold. Thats no fair to you or him.

 

[rgwalt]

It really depends on how fed up he was with the situation, the relationship, and/or you. (I'm not trying to be mean here). He might be totally relieved, but I'm sure he is thinking about you in one way or another.

It gets better, but it just takes time. It sounds like you both could use a little time to decompress.

R

 

[DeMeo]

Originally posted by: FoBoT

Originally posted by: GymGirl
I know what I am going through (as a girl), but what is he feeling? Is he sad?

is your boyfriend a man or a chick/metrosexual?


p.s. you can't just make up new accounts whenever you feel like it

P.s.s. - yes you can

 

[b0mbrman]

Originally posted by: DeMeo

Originally posted by: FoBoT

Originally posted by: GymGirl
I know what I am going through (as a girl), but what is he feeling? Is he sad?

is your boyfriend a man or a chick/metrosexual?


p.s. you can't just make up new accounts whenever you feel like it

P.s.s. - yes you can

If anything, p. p. s.

Have you ever gotten back with an ex after you broke up with them? I have been reading about how not to keep in touch with an ex espeicially if he/she broke your heart. Like totally disconnect that person out of your life. So if you're the hearbreaker, how do you find ways to get your ex back? Why did you want them back again since you left them in the first place?

 

Originally posted by: GymGirl
I signed up under a new name so I can be unrecognizable. Here's the story. My boyfriend and I have been together since May 2004. We've pretty much gotten along great in every way, which adds to the sadness and makes it so hard. It's a long story, but a couple days ago we decided to break up, over things that we ought to be able to work out, but I think we both just got tired of trying. We planned to spend our lives together, we talked about it all the time. It's like when we did argue, it's was fatal - we would "end" the relationship immediately, not talk for a day or two, then get back together. But this time it looks like it's for good... and I can accept that but I am so sad.

Here's what I am wondering - what is it like on the guys side? I know what I am going through (as a girl), but what is he feeling? Is he sad? Does he want to pick up the phone and call me as bad as I want to? Is he checking his email constantly like I am? Is he checking his caller ID when he gets home? Is he laying in bed wishing I would call? Or is he just settled into the fact we are over and he will never hear or see me again... and that is fine? He appears that way. Not a word from him, no trying to convince me differently, etc. Will it eventually hit him in a few days that he misses me and then he might call? Does it hit right away, or does it take a few days to settle in with guys? Is he miserable or loving his new freedom?? I am dying to know what the guys go through after a breakup, and will it be this way forever - to never hear a word from him again? I sure wish he would have put in some effort to try to change my mind! (BTW: Neither of us had any outside influences of other people... if you know what I mean)

Help - can someone tell me what a guy goes through after a breakup??

A girl in disguise on a forum dominated by male nerds? Quite unusual....

I know that you asked for male opinions, but I've been pondering this question for quite a long time. And I made enough observations, I think, to share with you. Yes, guys do think that way too. But just like women, it depends on the individual. It isn't something one could generalize about. It depends upon his personality type and how interested he is in you. If he really loves you, then he's also thinking about you and eager to hear from you. He's going through similar, if not the same, emotions.

However, if he never really loved you in the first place (i.e., at most was infatuated at some point but not in love), then he probably isn't thinking about you like you do of him. Now if he does love you, the next factor is his personality. If he's the type of guy who's shy with girls, then he's just as shy or nervous as you are to approach him. He hopes that you would indicate interest (i.e., open the door again). He couldn't do anything until you send a big signal that you were willing to accept him again. He might test your state of mind with bits of statements or actions to see how risky....

Your case is pretty easy, though. I think it should be obvious that he surely is feeling the same way toward you too since you two have always been the break up and get back together type. The most I imagine he would do is to resist the urge, but he surely still has feelings for you and thinks about you--even if not all the time or as much as you do.

My point of view of course, after wondering about the same thing....

P.S. I think that it is clear that the relationship between you two is still childish and not healthy. There's something wrong when you two cannot have dialogues when in disagreements. You should be glad that it ended and never look back again. Trust me, it will never work between you two--unless you both mend your ways and step up your relationship to a new and mature level.

 

OMG! I know who this is! I'm shocked! The profile isn't even right. Why did you have to go in disguise? I mean, I know that you care a lot about your image, but was this necessary? Well, yeah, I guess you were trying to avoid the "spider" title, which you have successfully escaped.

Why didn't you just confide in your close male friends if you were concerned about your anonymity? I would suppose they know much about their personal experiences as males. Oh, I see ... could one of your male friends ... well, that male friend be your bf? Ah, it makes more sense now.... Anyway, interesting.... I guess we indeed got "spidered" by a female. I'll keep my lips sealed, nonetheless.

Concerning your relationship, now that I know who you are, it all makes sense why you would be discussing marriage at such early stage. I'm a little disappointed that you would put up with such behavior of unwillingness to have a dialogue.... Someone's book smart doesn't make him relationship smart; nor does he being a good friend make him a good bf. I would expect more from you. I hope you never look back again. There are plenty of fish ... trust me!

 

[mobobuff]

Syringered? It's been 3 days, what's the requirement?

 

[Stumps]

meh, from my experience and this is just me talking, I have been dumped or dumped a girl and usually found a replacement in a day or two depending on how attached i was to the girl i have just split with, most of my friends are like this to, it's just not healthy to dewl on things like that for two long, guys are just like that, you are better off moving on with your life, if he does call you in a few days and you still feel the same way about him well try to work things out but don't get your hopes up..sorry