Can I get a guy's view and

[Stark]

need more info... how old are you both, how long have you been a "couple"... were you engaged... what point are you in life...

and pics.



with what you've written, he could be relieved, he could be miserable, or he could be going insane and will post highly embarassing pics of you on the internet whenever he sobers up.

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: GymGirl
I signed up under a new name so I can be unrecognizable. Here's the story. My boyfriend and I have been together since May 2004. We've pretty much gotten along great in every way, which adds to the sadness and makes it so hard. It's a long story, but a couple days ago we decided to break up, over things that we ought to be able to work out, but I think we both just got tired of trying. We planned to spend our lives together, we talked about it all the time. It's like when we did argue, it's was fatal - we would "end" the relationship immediately, not talk for a day or two, then get back together. But this time it looks like it's for good... and I can accept that but I am so sad.

Here's what I am wondering - what is it like on the guys side? I know what I am going through (as a girl), but what is he feeling? Is he sad? Does he want to pick up the phone and call me as bad as I want to? Is he checking his email constantly like I am? Is he checking his caller ID when he gets home? Is he laying in bed wishing I would call? Or is he just settled into the fact we are over and he will never hear or see me again... and that is fine? He appears that way. Not a word from him, no trying to convince me differently, etc. Will it eventually hit him in a few days that he misses me and then he might call? Does it hit right away, or does it take a few days to settle in with guys? Is he miserable or loving his new freedom?? I am dying to know what the guys go through after a breakup, and will it be this way forever - to never hear a word from him again? I sure wish he would have put in some effort to try to change my mind! (BTW: Neither of us had any outside influences of other people... if you know what I mean)

Help - can someone tell me what a guy goes through after a breakup??

If the guy initiated the breakup, he feels nothing.

If the girl initiated the breakup, she feels nothing.

My ex-wife after 14yrs initiated the breakup and never a word from her again.

She had lots of outside influence as she became addicted to online folks.

You feel miserable and you are not alone.

If you truly love him the pain will never go away. Sorry

 

[Ranger X]

You're obviously not over the breakup. I don't believe in mutual breakups because feels are rarely ever mutual when a couple breaks up. If you're feeling this way, I am almost 100% convinced that your ex doesn't feel the same way. He is probably enjoying his new found freedom. It's easier for a guy to get over a girl because sex is our best medicine.

 

[TitanDiddly]

Why is it his repossibility to call? What if he is the same way? You guys could have gotten back together, but you never would have since you both wanted the other one to call.

 

[cavemanmoron]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
If you're really trying to remain anonymous, you might edit your profile so it doesn't show your full name and city/state. Just a suggestion.

 

[kermalou]

this sounds a little like Dezign/Tomoto

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: kermalou
this sounds a little like Dezign/Tomoto

Happykitten lives down in California.

 

[djheater]

I thought signing up under a seperate account was a bannable offense ever since dennilfloss

 

[whistleclient]

yes, guys think about, check their caller id, want to call you, etc.

if you want to know how some guys think after a break up, read "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby.

 

[Howard]

It's Syringer!!!

EDIT: I withdraw the statement. It was posted at only 5PM. :Q

 

[alm4rr]

the friends' Rx for the newly-broken-up-guy is ususally hitting on women in fast bars and if that doesn't work out then strip club
He may be still thinking about you tho, but his friends are likely trying to change that

 

[imported_Papi]

Originally posted by: FoBoT

Originally posted by: GymGirl
I know what I am going through (as a girl), but what is he feeling? Is he sad?

is your boyfriend a man or a chick/metrosexual?


p.s. you can't just make up new accounts whenever you feel like it

yeah, like, isnt that what YAGT.org is for?

sup conjur ;-)

 

[gshock888]

i had quite a few of those fights with my GF and a lot of those I thought it was "for good", wasn't.

I start bitching about it to my friends and only to get back together when we both realized how stupid the argument was and then my friends start making fun of me of how sad and pathetic i looked during the "cool off" period.

anyway, I think that happens to a lot of people. for me, during that period it was painful, I think about things that I could've done differently, I think if I should call her or just let her cool down, I bitch to my friends about what a bitch she was and what an asshole I was, and in the end when it all worked out I forget and the fight happens again only later.

but we've been "huge-fight"-free since 2001 I've been with her for 5 years now...

my advice is to cool off for a week when you're both calm and all try working out again. when you see each other you will realize how much you missed him/her.... even if it was for a week.

 

[masterxfob]

reminds me of Mike in Swingers

 

[Literati]

That sucks.

Just try to keep in mind, you are not alone, you're a not the first, and far from the last to go through this same exact situation.

Wounds will heal, time will heal them, and life will go on.

Just hang in there.

 

[b0mbrman]

Trust me when I say he is hurting just as much as you are and although it is very admirable of him for this incredible selflessness, somewhere inside he is hoping for you to reassure him, showing him how much you love him by staying. You love him and you have got to make sure he knows how much you do and make sure he knows things would be harder for you without him and that you can get through this together.

Just make sure the truth is in the air because even when the circumstances might become difficult, there is no need to make everything even more difficult, you know?

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
p.s. you can't just make up new accounts whenever you feel like it

Well she did just increase atot's female member count by 10 percent.

 

[Pr0d1gy]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: FoBoT
p.s. you can't just make up new accounts whenever you feel like it

Well she did just increase atot's female member count by 10 percent.

LMAO^^^^

He's either trying to get laid or hoping you'll call. Men are stubborn so you'll have to be the one who tries to reconcile if he isn't a girly type. Funny you mentioned talking about being together forever all the time, but we don't talk about that at all & we have been together for 6 years. Maybe you're suffocating him with all your forever talk? Keep it in mind.

 

[opticalmace]

Don't trust some of the stuff said, and perhaps not even this, but:

I'd say he is probably going through the same thing. Don't be too sad GymGirl, things will get better. I'm sure he cares as much for you as you do him.

 

[mobobuff]

Did we get Syringered by a girl?

 

[Hammer]

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Did we get Syringered by a girl?

yes

 

[toekramp]

well if he is like me, he has moved on

 

[PricklyPete]

It really, really depends. It depends on how emotionally involved he was in the relationship when you guys broke it off, how mad he was at you when you broke up, whether he has a lot of patience, etc.

Stop worrying about it. If you want to call him, call him. No sense in wanting to call and instead waiting till he calls. You could both be thinking that and missing out on possible opportunities. Then again, if you don't feel the relationship will work...forget about it and move on. Sounds hard...and is...but if you move on, it will become easy over time.

 

[moshquerade]

who really cares who the OP is or was.

i would say everyone handles things differently and there is no way to tell if he is hurting as much as you are.
in time, you won't be thinking of him 24/7. keep busy, and the best way to get over him is to date someone else.


edit: then again the whole story could be bullsh#t, and i'm giving advice to a total moron.

 

[KingPhil]

Come on now, we now why you 2 fight so much........

MAKEUP SEX