can a cross really kill a vampire?

madeupfacts

Senior member
Apr 29, 2006
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suppose u were attacked by a horde of blood sucking vampires. If u take both index fingers and cross them togather, is it enough to stop the vampires?
 

Ulfhednar

Golden Member
Jun 24, 2006
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1.) Crosses do not kill vampires, they only repel them.
2.) The cross must be a relic from holy ground, ie. from a church and not made from your fingers or two sticks.
3.) The cross must be weilded by someone with true faith, otherwise it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

If you are being hunted by a vampire, your best course of action is as follows...

1.) Grind up and boil garlic, fill a supersoaker with it and carry it at all times.
2.) Grab the largest and sharpest piece of silverware you can find, it will come in handy if the vampire gets into melée range.
3.) Keep those two items on you at all times and make your way to a church or other holy site, the vampire cannot set foot there.
4.) Stay there and hope that it loses interest, assuming you're not a martial artist you won't stand a chance in a face-to-face confrontation.
 

NEWKILLA

Diamond Member
Nov 30, 2000
3,589
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71
the tried and true silver bullets still work for me
shiot thats werewolves

i guess im a lil outa touch--

i guess id have to go with the cross blessed by the child molesting priest


Have fun with that


KILLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
1,997
126
Originally posted by: Ulfhednar
1.) Crosses do not kill vampires, they only repel them.
2.) The cross must be a relic from holy ground, ie. from a church and not made from your fingers or two sticks.
3.) The cross must be weilded by someone with true faith, otherwise it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

I've found that a cross jammed through the heart will kill pretty much anything no matter who is wielding it.

 

Ulfhednar

Golden Member
Jun 24, 2006
1,031
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Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Originally posted by: Ulfhednar
1.) Crosses do not kill vampires, they only repel them.
2.) The cross must be a relic from holy ground, ie. from a church and not made from your fingers or two sticks.
3.) The cross must be weilded by someone with true faith, otherwise it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
I've found that a cross jammed through the heart will kill pretty much anything no matter who is wielding it.
Only if you can get close enough. Vampires have supernatural speed and agility, so if it gets within garlic-filled super soaker range then you're pretty screwed. ;)
 

madeupfacts

Senior member
Apr 29, 2006
692
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Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Originally posted by: Ulfhednar
1.) Crosses do not kill vampires, they only repel them.
2.) The cross must be a relic from holy ground, ie. from a church and not made from your fingers or two sticks.
3.) The cross must be weilded by someone with true faith, otherwise it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

I've found that a cross jammed through the heart will kill pretty much anything no matter who is wielding it.

u found? As in u've done this before???
 

ubercaffeinated

Platinum Member
Dec 1, 2002
2,130
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no, it will repel only. holy water works well to repel as well. don't forget UV flashlights.

to kill you need to put a stake through their heart. silver bullets work too. decapitation works too.
 

Lyfer

Diamond Member
May 28, 2003
5,842
2
81
You need a shotgun with garlic bullets. Only Emeril has garlic bullets designed specifically for a shotgun.
 

KillyKillall

Diamond Member
Jul 1, 2004
4,415
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If you value your life, don't listen to Ulfhednar as most of that info was made up by hollywood. This is the only fool proof plan. I have spent many years perfecting this, so take it as the truth:

1) You must temporarily incapacitate the vampire (stake in the heart, serious injury, etc..)
2) Behead the creature and remove all limbs
3) Bury the head on sacred ground while burying the limbs at a minimum of 350 miles away. (the further each limb is from itself the better)
4) Sit back and smoke a cigar

If you need serious assistance with such a task, please move this conversation into PM.
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
1,997
126
Originally posted by: madeupfacts
Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Originally posted by: Ulfhednar
1.) Crosses do not kill vampires, they only repel them.
2.) The cross must be a relic from holy ground, ie. from a church and not made from your fingers or two sticks.
3.) The cross must be weilded by someone with true faith, otherwise it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

I've found that a cross jammed through the heart will kill pretty much anything no matter who is wielding it.

u found? As in u've done this before???


My lawyer has advised me not to comment on the specifics.
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: judasmachine
vampires are not real, so technically blinking could kill them all.

I just blinked and not one vampire died, so there goes your theory.
 

DainBramaged

Lifer
Jun 19, 2003
23,454
41
91
Originally posted by: yowolabi
Originally posted by: judasmachine
vampires are not real, so technically blinking could kill them all.

I just blinked and not one vampire died, so there goes your theory.

Yeah, it was a stupid argument anyway. It's like saying every time you masturbate, a kitten dies. ATOT alone is enough to wipe out the kitten population of the world.

Back on-topic, every time I have been chased by a vampire, I have managed to get to holy ground. The sacred chapel that I worship at has a stash of FMGJ (Full Metal Garlic Jacket) Silver bullets. :thumbsup:
 

thecrecarc

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2004
3,364
3
0
Originally posted by: yowolabi
Originally posted by: judasmachine
vampires are not real, so technically blinking could kill them all.

I just blinked and not one vampire died, so there goes your theory.

to repel vampires: stuff playdoh up your nose and eat bubble wrap

i never saw a vampire, so im guessing its working
 

Injury

Lifer
Jul 19, 2004
13,066
2
81
Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Originally posted by: yowolabi
Originally posted by: judasmachine
vampires are not real, so technically blinking could kill them all.

I just blinked and not one vampire died, so there goes your theory.

Yeah, it was a stupid argument anyway. It's like saying every time you masturbate, a kitten dies. ATOT alone is enough to wipe out the kitten population of the world.

Back on-topic, every time I have been chased by a vampire, I have managed to get to holy ground. The sacred chapel that I worship at has a stash of FMGJ (Full Metal Garlic Jacket) Silver bullets. :thumbsup:

You obviously have no knowledge of the feline over population problem. ;)
 

DainBramaged

Lifer
Jun 19, 2003
23,454
41
91
Originally posted by: Injury
Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Originally posted by: yowolabi
Originally posted by: judasmachine
vampires are not real, so technically blinking could kill them all.

I just blinked and not one vampire died, so there goes your theory.

Yeah, it was a stupid argument anyway. It's like saying every time you masturbate, a kitten dies. ATOT alone is enough to wipe out the kitten population of the world.

Back on-topic, every time I have been chased by a vampire, I have managed to get to holy ground. The sacred chapel that I worship at has a stash of FMGJ (Full Metal Garlic Jacket) Silver bullets. :thumbsup:

You obviously have no knowledge of the feline over population problem. ;)

You obviously have no knowledge of the amount of sexual frustration that exists on ATOT. :D
 

Ulfhednar

Golden Member
Jun 24, 2006
1,031
0
0
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
If you value your life, don't listen to Ulfhednar as most of that info was made up by hollywood. This is the only fool proof plan. I have spent many years perfecting this, so take it as the truth:

1) You must temporarily incapacitate the vampire (stake in the heart, serious injury, etc..)
2) Behead the creature and remove all limbs
3) Bury the head on sacred ground while burying the limbs at a minimum of 350 miles away. (the further each limb is from itself the better)
4) Sit back and smoke a cigar

If you need serious assistance with such a task, please move this conversation into PM.
See, my plan is better for him if he values his life since it doesn't involve actually going near the vampire, but just getting to a safe place instead. If he follows your plan, he won't live to perform step number 2, as staking the vampire in the heart isn't something most normal people would be capable of unless they just happen to be carrying around a harpoon gun. :(
 

WiseOldDude

Senior member
Feb 13, 2005
702
0
0
Only if you are a chruch going tithing christian. If you are just some smuck that beleives in vampires they are on your own.