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Callahan's crosstime saloon

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<Stepping up to the chalk line>

Well I finished deflagging my hard drive and just got home from mast and decided to write something on Independance Day.

Since this is the 4th of July weekend, a lot of people will be celebrating by having a 4th of July barbeque and where there are barbeques, there is beer. So I figured I would get off my can, hops to it and kegs, steal and barrel some more humor. So Schlitz back and relax and enjoy a cold pun.

Let's face it, it was the yeast I can do. Most of you might groan at reading this but I must ask you to Beer with me because laughter is the best Coor for what Ales you. Although some of you may not have a sense of humor and will Weinhard at reading this there is a vat chance that you will find anything more humourous.

Let's not beat around the Busch, Americans like beer. Many will argue about which is the best brand to drink and when they really get rough, it's a bottle to the death using brewed force. All of the trendy people like to drink the imported beers because somehow they think that this will make them popular, but with the way some imported beers taste, it just ends up Grolsching people out. Unfortunately, you just have to look at it as a Stein of the times.

Oh, well, to Michelob story short, I had better get going. My wife is tired of seeing my ugly mug around the house.

So in closing, let us salute beer. Face the capital city of your favorite beer, whether it be Old Milwaukee or St. Louis and say a silent prayer of thanks. Silent because, everyone knows Silence is Golden.
 
Enter: The Bad Little Scantilly Clad Princess..... with crystal champagne glass in hand, she pitches in in the fireplace.

 
<pitching glass into the fireplace>

Well, I think that one takes the keg. 🙂

That's going to tough to beat. Anyone need refills on drinks?
 
I'll just watch, thanks. I really don't relish the idea of having peanuts thrown at me...they get stuck in my silky red locks....and, <shiver>... the Princess does not like that.🙂

Awwww.....boogie....we can continue that kiss back at the Realm in my Private Cove.😉

Princess😀

PS: Is there going to be a karaoke night? Not that I'll sing....I just think it's funny.🙂
 
<goes to the back room and reappears with a karaoke box>

Here I remebered I have one of these. <setting the box down.> Anyone is welcome to try it.

I need to leave to take care of some business (refill the stock room etc). Go ahead and continue with the puns, flirting and whatever else seems fun. Just keep this place respectable 🙂.

When it appears that no one else is going to share their pun, go ahead and send in your vote for the best pun (email or PM). The winner gets to pick the topic for next punday's contest.

Happy 4th

- bones
 
Dr. Boogie wonders if that karaoke box has an 8-track tape player in it, cause he has some good 8-tracks he would like to karaoke to.
 
For the princess ...

He was born in the summer of his 27th year,
coming home to a place he'd never been before.
He left yesterday behind him you might say he was born again,
might say he found a key for every door.
When he first came to the mountains
His life was far away
on the road and hanging by a song.
But the strings already broken
and he doesn't really care,
it keeps changin' fast, and it don't last for long.
It's a Colorado Rocky Mountain High,
I've seen it raining fire in the sky
The shadows from the starlight are softer than a lullabye.
Rocky Mountain High, ...in Colorado....Rocky Mountain High.

He climbed cathedral mountains, he saw silver clouds below,
saw everything as far as you can see.
And they say that he got crazy once and that he tried to touch the sun,
and he lost a friend, but kept the memory.
Now he walks in quiet solitude, the forest and the stream,
seeking grace in every step he takes.
His sight is turned inside himself, to try and understand
the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake.

And the Colorado Rocky Mountain High.
I've seen it raining fire in the sky
You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply.
Rocky Mountain High, ....in Colorado....Rocky Mountain High.

Now his life is full of wonder, but his heart still knows some fear,
of the simple things he can not comprehend.
Why they try to tear the mountains down to bring in a couple more.
More people, more scars upon the land.

In the Colorado Rocky Mountain High,
I've seen it raining fire in the sky.
I know he'd be a poorer man if he never saw an Eagle fly
Rocky mountain high
It's the Colorado Rocky Mountain High,
I've seen it raining fire in the sky.
Friends around the camp fire and everybody's high....
Rocky Mountain High, Rocky Mountain High, Rocky Mountain High, Rocky Mountain High.
 
I am truly touched that you dedicated it to me boogie....it is one of my favorites.😉 And, btw, you have a beautiful, sexy voice....mmmmmmmmm......and so on that note....another crystal champagne glass will get tossed in the fireplace simply because you were wonderful.🙂

Princess🙂

 
<Dr. Boogie bows to the crowd of one ... but the one is the bad little princess who makes it all worthwhile ... 🙂>
 
The orders for the stock room have been placed. So I decided to stop by real quick to clean up the peanuts and the glass from the fireplace and let everyone know that there were 2 votes for DrBoogie's pun, and no votes for any of the others.

Congrats DrBoogie, you get bragging rights, and you get to pick the topic for next punday.

Callahan's is alwasys open, so no need to feel rushed out. Drinks are behind the counter.

I'll be back after the fourth maybe sooner.

😀
 
Well, it's Wednesday. I've decide to make Wednesay, Whoasday.

On Whoasday you can share amazing stories that have happend to you that made you go &quot;Whoa!&quot; or &quot;Woe&quot;. You see, the stories can be either funny, or sad, or just plain cool.

The rest of the rules apply. BTW you only have to step up to the chalk line when you are giving a toast. Toasts can be given on anyday. Today you may want to give a toast for your story if you feel so moved.

The fireplace has been cleaned up. The peanut and peanut shells are gone. There is a nice crackling fire giving out a warm glow. The karaoke machine is till out on the counter. There is a piano in the corner next to the entrance. The tables have a rustic look to them and match the hardwood floors. There is a sign above the entrance to an alcove that reads, &quot;Hot tub under construction.&quot;

You can hear the small clinks as I, the barkeep, an cleaning glasses behind the counter.
 
Here is a story to start things off.

When I was young, under 5 yrs of age. I was visiting a great uncle who has a farm. Well one day when I was there, I decided to meet the farm bull. Now this is not the kind of bull you see around here, but a genuine live bull; the kind that gets the cows all excited.

So while wearing bright red clothing, I crawled under the fence and proceede to hit the bull on the nose and pull on its tail. My parents ran out to where I was. They were very scared. Fortunately, either I was under some special protection, or the bull was just smart enough to know I was just a kid. The bull did nothing but just stand there.

Whoa!

Thats my honest true story for today.
 
How about this? My son was two years old, and loved to chant all the time. He'd chant my mommy, my mommy or anything else he could say. So one day, we went grocery shopping. Near the end of the trip, he was walking along, holding my hand, and chanting. Now his father and I did not really listen, we just kept walking along with him. All of a sudden, I caught what he was saying, and it was my pants, my pants. I looked down, and he was marching along, with his pants and underwear around his ankles. His little butt was sticking out for everyone to see, and they were all laughing hysterical. I could have died! So I pulled his pants up, and put him in the cart. I left my purse in the cart next to him. Well, lets just say it was a bad time of the month for me. He then proceded to take out all my &quot;personal belongings&quot;, and put them up on the counter. I did not know it until the cashier looked at me and said: &quot;Uh, miss, are those yours?&quot; When I looked down, they were on the conveyor belt, mixed in with all the food. :Q

Boy, that kid is lucky he has made it to eight! 😉
 
When I was two...we were on vacation in Oregon, at a filling station. This was of course back when you really didn't have to keep a leash on your children, and worry about if someone was going to nab them. I slipped out of the open cardoor and walked over to the phone booth and shut myself in. I guess, of course, I was not concerned....I just wanted to play....I was 2. A while later my mom came running up to the phone booth frantic and picked me up and held me tight. She was a bit hysterical. Apparantly, 30 minutes had gone by.....and my parents had taken off after getting gas, and 15 minutes down the road, my cousin Teresa innocently asked, &quot;Where's Crystal?&quot; Since this was a caravan type vacation....all the cars pulled over to the side of the road, and I was not with any of my relatives, so they turned back around and thats where my mom found me in the phone booth 30 minutes after they left the filling station. I remember only being in the phone booth, playing with rocks....and my mom picking me up hysterically. Whew, it's a good thing it was 1970, and not 2000. I'm sure I'd probably have been kidnapped.🙂

Princess😉
 
Hello all,

Today is tall story day. If I remember right, in &quot;Callahan's Crosstime saloon&quot; the tall stories were long pun jokes like my &quot;kicks are for trids&quot; pun.

You can tell long puns stories if you like, however a new kind of tall story will be allowed also. It's the tall story you might hear from the &quot;liar's club&quot; or some such organization.

You can order a drink and sit back listening to the stories, or add your own.

BTW the hot tub is almost finished.

Here's my tall story to start things off.

Everyone has heard about those places in America where it gets really cold like 50 below. Well I've been to a place that is much worse that these places. This place I'm talking about is in the high sierra mountains.

You see, unlike normal places, the rocks in the high siera's freeze. We'll one day I was backpacking in the summer and unknowingly stood on one of these frozzen rocks that hadn't thawed out yet.

Well, as you guesed it, my shaddow froze. Luckly I had my trusty swiss army knife and was able to free myself. Unfortunatly I had to leave my shaddow there.

You can't immagine how embarassing it is to be walking around without a shaddow.

<pauses to take a drink>
 
<continuing story>
Well that wasn't worst of it.

No.

Two weeks later, that rock thawed enough for my shadow to get away. I got a call from a sherifs office saying that my shadow was going around frightening small childeren, and I better come and get it quickly before they charge me with indecent exposure:Q.

😀
 
Well, it happens to be pun day again. DrBoogie won the last punday contest.

DrBoogie, you get to pick the topic. Name the topic, and while you are at it, go ahead and kick off the puns with one of your own.

Others can go ahead and sit down at the bar or at one of the tables and enjoy the festivities.
 
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