MEDIA: "President Bush, what do you have to say about the latest reports, videos and images of American Soldiers grossly mistreating, torturing and raping Iraqis?"
BUSH: "I'm really mad about it! I mean, seriously! This is....(searches for word)....bad. REALLY BAD!"
MEDIA: "And how do you feel about the fact that reports of this behavior have been going on for close to five months? Do you feel personally responsible? What about Donald Rumsfield, who acknowledged knowing about the violations since January?"
BUSH: "I'm not satisfied at all. No sir! Rumsfield let me down!"
MEDIA: "What will happen to Rumsfield in light of this negligence?"
BUSH: "I'm going to not let him play with my toys for a WHOLE week! But, since he's a good ol' boy like me, I'll let him stay in office!"
MEDIA: "One more question, how do you plan to deal with any Arabic discontent with the disgusting ways that the Iraqis have been treated?"
BUSH: "I'll meet with their leaders, make a half-assed excuse, and then declare their country as part of the Axis of Evil in an attempt to conjur up some old WWII nationalism!"