Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Georgia to 25?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools! (With one exception, you know who you are.)
==========================================
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
==========================================
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Mississippi. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
==========================================
A Mississippi State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-55. He says to the driver,
"Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout What?"
==========================================
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Texas State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
==========================================
Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
==========================================
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
=========================================
What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
I-40.
==========================================
Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray,what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK, Ummmmmm.....five?"
==========================================
What does a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
==========================================
A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department
and shouted, "Hurry over here, my house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
==========================================
Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
==========================================
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.
The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up
there?"
===========================================
How do you tell if a Bama cheerleader is a level-haided gal?
Cuz the chew juice runs out both sides of her mouth at the same time.
===========================================
A Southern brunette goes to her doctor and tells the doctor that her body hearts all over whenever she touches
it. The doctor doesn't understand, so the brunette explains. She touches her arm, screams in pain. Next, she
touches her leg, and shows pain. Her shoulder, side, hips, and so forth.
The Doctor looks at her and says, "You're not really a brunette. You are a blond."
The girs says "How did you know?"
The doctor replies, "Your finger is broken."
============================================
Once I was on I-85 near Auburn, Ala. going home toward Georgia. A big red Dodge pickup flashed past me,
followed by 3 Alabama trooper cars in a high speed chase. Soon all 4 vehicles were out of sight.
I stopped at the last exit for a coffee onload/offload and ran into the same 3 troopers filling out their paperwork.
I asked what happened.
"Well, we chased that ol' boy clear to the Georgia line. Once he crossed it, we knowed we'd never of catched
up."
"Why's that?" sez I.
"Dang, boy, ain't it plain? Because, when he crossed into the Georgia time zone, he gained a whole hour ahead
of us."
==============================================
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned - "What if the place is still
bugged?"
The groom says "I'll look for a bug."
He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug "AHA!"
Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and
the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds a few questions: "How was your room?"; "How was
the service?"; "How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?"
The hotel manager says "Well, the room UNDER you complained of the chandelier falling on them."
Facebook
Twitter