boyfriend -> friend = backwards !?

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kohutek

Member
Nov 29, 2000
171
0
0
She is making herself feel more comfortable. So if it is over, and she is making herself feel comfortable at your expense... BAIL OUT FAST! Abandon ship.

That's the way that I feel -- she seems to be getting a really good deal: keeping me around for friendship, while being unattached so she can do whatever she wants. While I, on the other hand, seem to be catering to her. I think that's backwards.

/me puts on parachute

scrapster: I am sickened that you have that link up so fast -- you must have it bookmarked ;)

randal

 

Scrapster

Diamond Member
Nov 27, 2000
3,746
0
0
scrapster: I am sickened that you have that link up so fast -- you must have it bookmarked

Yeah, I keep it under my "just got dumped" folder. :cool:
 

Chris A

Golden Member
Oct 11, 1999
1,431
1
76


<< Yeah, I keep it under my &quot;just got dumped&quot; folder >>



LOL@Scrapster....

kohutek, Get a hobby or do somthing fun. Life is all about you, when you are single. Besides nothing pisses off a ex more then for them to see you having fun and getting on with out them.





 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
I think you should gently explain to her that you need some time apart, that being so close to her when you have feelings for her hurts. Don't just push her away without telling her why.
 

mundania

Senior member
Jun 17, 2000
921
0
0
As scrapster said... BREAK CLEAN!! Don't talk to her for 6 months.

But first thing first. Do her the courtesy of telling her why. But you have to be
strong. She might complain, or all of a sudden become soft, mushy,
and sentimental... BUT you know WHAT you have to do!
If she's fine with it..then that's great. If not, you still have to do it.

In the long run.. your heart and mind will just get messed up if you
pursue the friendship as it stands.

I SOOOo identify with you when you talk about feelings coming back.
As long as they are there... and as long as they 'hamper' your friendship,
you just have to back off and allow time to makethem disappear.

Good luck!
 

Entity

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
10,090
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<< Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. The 6 month rule is not meant to put your friendship &quot;on hold,&quot; it's meant to get your mate out of your mind and to move on. After 6 months, you both should be well moved on. >>



This advice is - while difficult to follow - probably the best advice I've found in this thread yet. I had a similar situation a few years back, and I wasn't able to get her out of my mind until I forced myself to.

Rob
 

Elita1

Golden Member
Nov 17, 2000
1,757
0
0
Tell her you can't see or talk to her anymore. Flat out.
Tell her friendship is not enough, at least right now and that perhaps down the road friendship will be the best thing...but that because of your strong feelings for her you need to distance yourself properly.
One of 2 things could happen:
-she'll miss you terribly and realize she DOES want a deeper relationship
-she'll miss you terribly but realize only as a friend and respect your feelings and decisions on the matter.
I'm sorry you are going through such a terrible time, but distancing yourself is probably the best thing to do right now. Just remember it's not a permanent solution and that it's better than the slow torture of being near her yet not being able to be WITH her.
I pray things work out for you and take heart. It is very painful now but time does heal hurts, and I'm sure things will get better.
God bless and best of luck
 

NutBucket

Lifer
Aug 30, 2000
27,155
635
126
Time es muy bueno. I'm about 2 1/2 months into psuedo 6 month deally right now. Can't say it ain't workin, cause it is. Hell, I really didn't even &quot;go out&quot; with her, just expressed my feelings and managed to make a few bonehead statements. But I know that its easier for me then for kohutek cause at least this chick is about 600 miles east of me in school. Distance can certainly help as well. Good luck to ya man.