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blah, I don't want to go to work today...post some good call in excuses

"Hi, Heidi Klum is visiting, so I won't be at work the first few days!"
"I need to meditate a few days to purify my soul."
"The FBI is after me, I'm going into hiding a little while!"
"I'm pregnant! (If you are a guy)"

Edit: Or, you could just say you are taking a day off or are not feeling well.
 
The easiest one for me is sick kids.

People are a sucker for the beleagured parent doting on thier ill child.

Knew they were good for something.


😉

(~edit I'm sleepy, I forgot the 'K' in 'knew', maybe they'll let me go home... I obviously shouldn't be working.)
 
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