OK...I've got a joke about this very topic.
3 guys in a bar...
A doctor, a lawyer and a hillbilly mechanic (I can say hillbilly, my whole family is nothing but hillbillies.

)
They're discussing what they're going to give thier wives on their respective birthdays.
The Doctor says "I'm going to buy my wife a red Mercedes and a blue Mercedes...that way, if she doesn't like one color, she can take it back and keep the other."
The Lawyer then pipes up and says "I'm kinda doing the same thing...I'm buying my wife a mink coat and a fox coat. If she doesn't like the mink, she can take it back and keep the fox."
Then they turn to look at the hillbilly, who is standing at the corner of the bar staring into his drink, not saying a word.
Finally, the Lawyer's curiosity get's the best of him and he asks "So...how about you, Clem? What are you gonna get for your wife on her birthday?"
Clem leans back and stares thoughtfully up at the ceiling and says:
"Well, I reckon I'm gonna buy her a hairdryer, and, a dildo.....
cause if she don't like the hairdryer,
she can go f@ck herself."
