Bio professor owns one student!

[Phokus]

So is the kid going to 'pound me in the ass' prison or not?

 

[Phokus]

Originally posted by: Armitage

Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
Its probably part bluff, part true. The kid is in a world of hurt. He probably will get caught eventually. Turning himself in now IS the best thing for him to do. If he waits and he gets caught he WILL be screwed.

If he turns it in, at best his academic career is over. At worst, he will have a criminal record and may do time. If I were the kid I'd get rid of it and hope for the best - but then, I wouldn't have done something that stupid to begin with.

I doubt they have anything on him now - his best bet is to deep-6 the laptop and forget it ever happened. But I hope he continues his idiocy and gets busted.

I'd probably clean off all the fingerprints from the laptop, then get on a boat at some california harbor, and throw it in the f'in ocean... and pray that all the stuff about the video camera and eye witnesses is bullshit!

 

[alien42]

that was like going to the spa and not getting a happy ending cause the time ran out.

 

[robertcloud]

this thread needs a parody from the thief's perspective

 

[Phokus]

Originally posted by: robertcloud
this thread needs a parody from the thief's perspective

"So anyway, i copied all that trade secret crap from the laptop and sold it to the russians"

 

[LordSnailz]

T

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: NogginBoink
Yes, it's obviously a bluff.

But using psychology against ignorant undergrads to get the laptop back seems to me a very smart thing to do.

yeap.

Hopefully the guy who stole it knows nothing about computers. Heh pretty good bluff though.

 

[KK]

The computer probably only had child porn on it. That's the professor trying to scare the kid in not wandering around on the C drive.

 

[Toasthead]

ouch. all you gotta do is look for the seat with the puddle under it and theres your theif!

 

[Fausto]

LMFAO....that's the best thing I've seen all week.

 

[FlyLice]

i think he should get a lawyer. but pwned

 

[Nozirev]

Tons of empty threats.

Transponder - hilariousness. I'm sure that laptop has a tranponder that prodcasts its location everywhere it goes. Must really be good for battery life.

Hey if you can see the wireless card - that means he is on the campus network. Probably the best chance you are going to have of finding this guy. Negates your orginal assertion he wasn't on the network.

We all know Microsoft isn't tracking versions of windows everytime you get on a network. Funny.

As far as the data goes. Every year, numerous computers contain secret data. As in US Government Secret data are stolen by people who don't realize they have taken it. Ya, not many end up being charged with stealing secrets.

SEC will only go after someone if they use the data as inside information in buying stock at the IPO. Not likely. Unless the student could, figure out the company, and what the data actually meant. Not likely again.

Not sure why the FTC would care about trade secrets unless the student used them. Not likely again.

Very funny bluffs though.

The funniest thing is, the professor is the one in the deepest trouble. Because if he had a computer with all this "important data on it", they are going to want to know how it came to be that it was stolen. I doubt the student mugged him, meaning the professor left a computer with all this "valuable info" lying around.

 

[daniel1113]

That professor is full of it; however, I did enjoy the pwnage.

The real question here is: Who would be stupid enough to steal an entire computer just for an exam? Obviously the professor will change the exam now.

 

[arcenite]

Professor's argument lost any weight it had when he said "microsoft was interested to know why two computers were running the same copy of windows"... as amused said.

 

[SaltBoy]

I see that the professor watches 24 on a regular basis.

 

[Schrodinger]

Translation:

"I'm not nearly important as I've led you to believe. My laptop on the other hand--it contains some very important and confidential information. Of course I wouldn't conceive of ever encrypting that data, because, you know... its SO important like I said. I'm actually scared sh!tless once the people who own the research & data find out. Please bring it back ASAP so I don't take it in the ass."

 

[tami]

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
I see that the professor watches 24 on a regular basis.

it made it more enjoyable

 

[Jhill]

This tasteful manner? LOL.

I don't know sh!t about computers compared to a lot of people here and I called his bluff about 5 seconds in his bs speech.

If I was the kid there is no way I would sell or format the hard drive now that the professor told him about all the cool stuff that is on there.

Why does he think a student stole the laptop for an exam? Maybe the kid wanted the actual laptop?

The prof is going to look like a big douch if 2 weeks rolls around and no laptop and no one gets caught. Where's those 2 eyewitnesses and the photo sparky?

As long as he was making crap up he should of said he could blow up the laptop up at any second with a second transponder.

 

[RaynorWolfcastle]

alright who's going to make an eBay auction for a laptop with that description

 

[cjgallen]

HOLY SH!T

LMFAO

 

[Kev]

won't load for me... wtf

 

[cjgallen]

Worked just fine with "Real Alternative" and "Media Player Classic"

 

[Ilmater]

Originally posted by: cjgallen
Worked just fine with "Real Alternative" and "Media Player Classic"

Why hasn't someone converted this yet?

 

[Oscar1613]

haha... what a douche. the biggest flaw in his argument is trying to convince him that suddenly "innocent until proven guilty" no longer applies. even if the guy knows nothing about computers and believes his BS about tracking it, he's supposed to believe that now HE has to prove he DIDNT make copies? thats damn near impossible and no court in the US would convict based upon that

 

[chuckywang]

50 bucks that the kid skipped class and wasn't even there.