A kinda gross one, but funny nonetheless:
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in!
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in!
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
LOL, most of these are sooo horrible, I can't believe some of you guys have the nerve to actually say this stuff to people !!!
This list guarantees a few slaps although I took out 15
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Baby, you're so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Can I have fries with that shake!
You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
I'd look good on you.
When does your centerfold come out.
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
You have nice legs. What time do they open?
Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Baby, you're so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Can I have fries with that shake!
You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
I'd look good on you.
When does your centerfold come out.
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
You have nice legs. What time do they open?
Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
Want to play Army, I lie down and you blow the hell out of me?
My favorite math equation: You + Me - Our Clothes / Our Legs and Multiply
Love is a sensation
Caused by temptation
A man sticks his boneration (yes, I know it's not a real word)
Into the woman's destination
To increate the population
For a better nation
Did you get my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?
Girls are suckers for rythmes.
-- mrcodedude
My favorite math equation: You + Me - Our Clothes / Our Legs and Multiply
Love is a sensation
Caused by temptation
A man sticks his boneration (yes, I know it's not a real word)
Into the woman's destination
To increate the population
For a better nation
Did you get my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?
Girls are suckers for rythmes.
-- mrcodedude
I have to agree. I can't imagine saying any of these lines or thinking that they were cool.
A friend back in college told me a pretty funny story about a time he and his Army buddy were at a bar. There were 2 pretty girls sitting by themselves at a table and his Army buddy wanted to go over and say hi. He told my friend that he wanted to do the talking. My friend knew better and asked him not to say anything too stupid or lewd. Army buddy says don't worry. They walk over and Army dude says, "Hi........so which one of you wants to sit on my face first?"
How's that for smooth? And no, it didn't work.
I was once in line for a bar and the bouncer checked my friends' IDs, then checked mine, asking me questions about my address, where my hometown was, etc.
Then he said, "You're hot".
I was caught off guard so I just said, "um, thanks," and went inside. I didn't think that was a very good "line", if you can even call it that.
But here's a good line story. The other day I was sitting with my friend on campus when I saw this old dude walk past us, catch a glimpse of my friend, then backtrack and sit down near us. He then proceeded to ask her inane questions about where the library was, followed by what amusement parks she'd visited in the area. Here was his line: "I was wondering if we could go to Magic Mountain and make some magic together." :Q
I had to laugh...I couldn't help it.
Then he said, "You're hot".
I was caught off guard so I just said, "um, thanks," and went inside. I didn't think that was a very good "line", if you can even call it that.
But here's a good line story. The other day I was sitting with my friend on campus when I saw this old dude walk past us, catch a glimpse of my friend, then backtrack and sit down near us. He then proceeded to ask her inane questions about where the library was, followed by what amusement parks she'd visited in the area. Here was his line: "I was wondering if we could go to Magic Mountain and make some magic together." :Q
I had to laugh...I couldn't help it.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Originally posted by: Zakath15
Originally posted by: baffled2
Me either ,hahaha
Pics?
LOL,silly I don't pickup girls !
Originally posted by: baffled2
LOL,silly I don't pickup girls !
I know, but you can still... nevermind.
<--- has too many 'curious' female friends...
Originally posted by: Zakath15
Originally posted by: baffled2
LOL,silly I don't pickup girls !
I know, but you can still... nevermind.
<--- has too many 'curious' female friends...
And this is a problem because....
The winning line of course is:
*Look at the girl* (...) *look at your crotch* (...) *look at the girl* (...) "Well?!?!? It ain't gonna suck itself...."
-Ice
If you want success this has a better likelihood
(especially in a non-alcoholic environment)
Top 10 flirting tips
10. Flirting is an attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks.
Be enthusiastic and positive, it works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello.
Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, state an opinion.
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous.
Show your vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters.
They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you.
Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, interesting ties, hats, or an interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host.
You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet.
Say hello!
4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because
you should listen twice as much as you speak.
Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you.
Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner
in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away.
Don?t stare ? it?s a turn off.
2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner.
The best compliments have the element of surprise.
The ?flirtee? will know that you really noticed them.
Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine.
When you receive a compliment the best response is merely, Thank You!
1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable.
A smile lights up your face and draws people to you.
You will be a people magnet. Try it!
(especially in a non-alcoholic environment)
Top 10 flirting tips
10. Flirting is an attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks.
Be enthusiastic and positive, it works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello.
Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, state an opinion.
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous.
Show your vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters.
They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you.
Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, interesting ties, hats, or an interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host.
You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet.
Say hello!
4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because
you should listen twice as much as you speak.
Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you.
Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner
in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away.
Don?t stare ? it?s a turn off.
2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner.
The best compliments have the element of surprise.
The ?flirtee? will know that you really noticed them.
Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine.
When you receive a compliment the best response is merely, Thank You!
1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable.
A smile lights up your face and draws people to you.
You will be a people magnet. Try it!
Some people can't even get the awful, cheesy lines right!
"That shirt is very becoming on you. 'course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too."
"That shirt is very becoming on you. 'course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too."
The one John Gnash used in A Beautiful Mind was classic. Somebody else try it and let me know how it turns out.
Originally posted by: icecool83
Originally posted by: Zakath15
Originally posted by: baffled2
LOL,silly I don't pickup girls !
I know, but you can still... nevermind.
<--- has too many 'curious' female friends...
And this is a problem because....
The winning line of course is:
*Look at the girl* (...) *look at your crotch* (...) *look at the girl* (...) "Well?!?!? It ain't gonna suck itself...."
-Ice
thats not how it goes. You're supposed to drop trou first and then stare at the chick with a puzzled look on you face and say "Well? It's not going to suck itself!"
Hopefully You're Not Trying Out Those Lines On Any Of These Women
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
:Q
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
:Q
I heard this 14yr old punk say this to a woman last week and it had me cracking up for a while
"Your parents must be a terrorists cause you're the bomb!"
"Your parents must be a terrorists cause you're the bomb!"
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