Awesome Want Ad

Nov 5, 2001
18,366
3
0

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cpg/424888857.html


if ($web_developer == true)
{

if ($n00b == true)
exit("pwned!");

if ($ms_developer == true)
exit("Sorry, we're a linux shop");

if ($php5_experience == false || $php_years < 2)
exit("Go get some experience kid");

if ($mysql_master == false && $postgres_master == false)
exit("And you call yourself a web developer?!?");

if ($javascript_is_an_awesome_language_and_not_just_for_cutesy_(and_annoying)_effects == false || $knows_ajax == false)
exit("Hi, I'm 2007. 1998 is down the hall and to the right.");

elseif ($knows_jQuery == true)
$brownie_points['lead_developer']++;

if ($can_code_html_and_css_by_hand_in_sleep == false)
exit("And you've made it this far? wtf?");

if ($mac_fan_boy == true)
$brownie_points['ceo']++;

if ($willing_to_consider_short_term_contract_work == true)
{
$to = "drgath";
$to .= "@gmail.com";
mail($to, "I want a job", "Check me out, I'm teh awesome. I've attached my resume.");
}

}
 

rivan

Diamond Member
Jul 8, 2003
9,677
3
81
Originally posted by: nick1985
I always thought programming looked confusing as fuck.


/shrug

Actually, that's pretty easy to read.

The parts I found funny were the brownie points.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
Originally posted by: rivan
Originally posted by: nick1985
I always thought programming looked confusing as fuck.


/shrug

Actually, that's pretty easy to read.

The parts I found funny were the brownie points.

Agreed. The brownie points were pretty funny.
 

DnetMHZ

Diamond Member
Apr 10, 2001
9,826
1
81
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"
 

RadiclDreamer

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2004
8,622
40
91
Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

I would
 

DanTMWTMP

Lifer
Oct 7, 2001
15,908
19
81
Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

hehe ya.

It sounds a bit too childish, and that script looks way too basic....waaaaayy too basic. Although cool, it'll probably only attact recent grads or current students.

 

rivan

Diamond Member
Jul 8, 2003
9,677
3
81
Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

hehe ya.

It sounds a bit too childish, and that script looks way too basic....waaaaayy too basic. Although cool, it'll probably only attact recent grads or current students.

That's my thought, too - they're looking for someone very young, who will probably work for beans.
 

homercles337

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2004
6,340
3
71
Originally posted by: clamum
Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine :p

I only know C++
That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge? :confused:
 

Acanthus

Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
19,915
2
76
ostif.org
Originally posted by: homercles337
Originally posted by: clamum
Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine :p

I only know C++
That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge? :confused:

Thats odd, why mention java if its php.
 

clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
26,252
403
126
Originally posted by: homercles337
Originally posted by: clamum
Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine :p

I only know C++
That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge? :confused:
I'm guessing they're insinuating that they don't work with JavaScript or think it sucks, and that they wish for candidates to have AJAX experience.
 

homercles337

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2004
6,340
3
71
Originally posted by: clamum
Originally posted by: homercles337
Originally posted by: clamum
Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine :p

I only know C++
That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge? :confused:
I'm guessing they're insinuating that they don't work with JavaScript or think it sucks, and that they wish for candidates to have AJAX experience.

If javascript is *not* teh awesome or if you dont have any ajax knowledge, exit. Thats how i read it. Plus ajax is javascript. Based on the statements that line should be (true || false). I think they are saying that javascript is a great language that can do a lot more than cutesy/annoying effects, then they fuck up by calling that false. Wait, why in gods name are we talking about this? :confused: