Awesome Want Ad

[MikeyIs4Dcats]

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cpg/424888857.html


if ($web_developer == true)
{

if ($n00b == true)
exit("pwned!");

if ($ms_developer == true)
exit("Sorry, we're a linux shop");

if ($php5_experience == false || $php_years < 2)
exit("Go get some experience kid");

if ($mysql_master == false && $postgres_master == false)
exit("And you call yourself a web developer?!?");

if ($javascript_is_an_awesome_language_and_not_just_for_cutesy_(and_annoying)_effects == false || $knows_ajax == false)
exit("Hi, I'm 2007. 1998 is down the hall and to the right.");

elseif ($knows_jQuery == true)
$brownie_points['lead_developer']++;

if ($can_code_html_and_css_by_hand_in_sleep == false)
exit("And you've made it this far? wtf?");

if ($mac_fan_boy == true)
$brownie_points['ceo']++;

if ($willing_to_consider_short_term_contract_work == true)
{
$to = "drgath";
$to .= "@gmail.com";
mail($to, "I want a job", "Check me out, I'm teh awesome. I've attached my resume.");
}

}

 

[nick1985]

I always thought programming looked confusing as fuck.


/shrug

 

[nakedfrog]

LOL
That's good stuff.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: nick1985
I always thought programming looked confusing as fuck.


/shrug

Actually, that's pretty easy to read.

The parts I found funny were the brownie points.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: rivan

Originally posted by: nick1985
I always thought programming looked confusing as fuck.


/shrug

Actually, that's pretty easy to read.

The parts I found funny were the brownie points.

Agreed. The brownie points were pretty funny.

 

[PepePeru]

thats funny.

 

[Adul]

mm i meat all those criteria to

But I got a good paying perm job

 

[Demon-Xanth]

"If you don't know what this is saying, you don't need to."

 

[Pugnax]

Haha pretty clever! I wonder how the turnout will be.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

hahaha that's great!

 

[homercles337]

Javascript is teh evil. I fail.

 

[brxndxn]

It looks like the kind of job where some 17yo skript kiddie is your boss.

 

[ViviTheMage]

Originally posted by: nick1985
I always thought programming looked confusing as fuck.


/shrug

bunch of if then statements, its EZ.

 

[Acanthus]

Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine

I only know C++

 

[DnetMHZ]

I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine

I only know C++

That's PHP.

 

[RadiclDreamer]

Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

I would

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

hehe ya.

It sounds a bit too childish, and that script looks way too basic....waaaaayy too basic. Although cool, it'll probably only attact recent grads or current students.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP

Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I don't think I would want to work for anyone who uses "words" like "pwned"

"Hey boss, the doctors office says my medical benefits are no good"

"pwned!!!1oneone"

hehe ya.

It sounds a bit too childish, and that script looks way too basic....waaaaayy too basic. Although cool, it'll probably only attact recent grads or current students.

That's my thought, too - they're looking for someone very young, who will probably work for beans.

 

[homercles337]

Originally posted by: clamum

Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine

I only know C++

That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge?

 

[Acanthus]

Originally posted by: homercles337

Originally posted by: clamum

Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine

I only know C++

That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge?

Thats odd, why mention java if its php.

 

[azilaga]

funny stuff

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: homercles337

Originally posted by: clamum

Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine

I only know C++

That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge?

I'm guessing they're insinuating that they don't work with JavaScript or think it sucks, and that they wish for candidates to have AJAX experience.

 

[homercles337]

Originally posted by: clamum

Originally posted by: homercles337

Originally posted by: clamum

Originally posted by: Acanthus
Weird i dont know java and i was able to read that fine

I only know C++

That's PHP.

I thought so, but i havent written any php in a *long* time. If thats php then why in gods name are they saying exit() to javascript being teh awesome or no ajax knowledge?

I'm guessing they're insinuating that they don't work with JavaScript or think it sucks, and that they wish for candidates to have AJAX experience.

If javascript is *not* teh awesome or if you dont have any ajax knowledge, exit. Thats how i read it. Plus ajax is javascript. Based on the statements that line should be (true || false). I think they are saying that javascript is a great language that can do a lot more than cutesy/annoying effects, then they fuck up by calling that false. Wait, why in gods name are we talking about this?