ATOT Consensus needed! Cheating neighbor with a deployed spouse

AndrewR

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
11,157
0
0
All right, we live in a military housing community, and our next door neighbor is a Security Forces officer (military police for the Air Force). That career field is deployed as often as they are home, and he was deployed from about March through August or so. I was deployed for some of that time, but when I came home, I noticed (and my wife told me it was going on while I was gone) that there was another guy there with this other officer's wife. Now, there were other cars and some women as well so it was hard to tell what was going on.

So, the Security Forces guy comes back, and the other cars for the most part disappear with an occasional female around at times. We're not friends with these people as they have never been particularly welcoming (when they moved in, my wife and another neighbor's wife went over to say hello, and they were essentially ignored by the woman).

Fast forward a few months, and it appears the guy has been deployed again -- their ops tempo is horrible. Now, we've noticed that the same "other guy" we saw before is over quite frequently, and we haven't seen any others over (female friends) like we did last time. Today, the wife appeared with the "other guy" leaving the house holding hands. My daughter's room overlooks their driveway so it's easy to see by happenstance.

[/b]CLIFF'S[/b]:
1) Wife of military officer who is deployed appears to be cheating.
2) What would you do?

Anyway, would you do anything? I had a buddy who was deployed to Saudi Arabia for the start of OIF, and his wife cheated on him when he was out there. They subsequently divorced (he found out from a guy who was in the same unit as the bastard that was shacking up with his wife).

I'm tempted to take a photo and wait for the guy to return and hand it over. I also know some folks in Security Forces that I could talk to about this other officer (to get his name and contact info, nothing else). I don't even know the guy's name. No, it's not really my business, but if it were me out in the desert, I'd want to know if my wife were sleeping around in the house that I provide for her.

What do you think?
 

doze

Platinum Member
Jul 26, 2005
2,786
0
0
Unless this guy is a real good friend this is not your business.
 

BigJ

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
21,330
1
81
I'd normally say MYOB, but this situation just really rubs me the wrong way.
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,112
930
126
MYOB
Get a life. I guess between posting on AT and spying on your neighbors, you must have a full schedule. ;)
 

AndrewR

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
11,157
0
0
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
MYOB
Get a life. I guess between posting on AT and spying on your neighbors, you must have a full schedule. ;)

Posts: 16708. Well, it looks like you only need one thing to keep a full schedule! :D

The only reason I really care is what happened to my friend in Okinawa and how it tore him up with his cheating wife. Seeing as how I can identify with the situation of being deployed, it bothers me to see this going on.

Incidentally, my wife does most of the spying since she stays at home during the day. I only see what happens when I'm in the driveway!
 

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
Why would you want to put yourself in the middle of any possible situation? You want to be party to all the bullcrap that would follow? You could easily end up on someone's sh!tlist if you tattled.
 

dawnbug

Golden Member
Oct 29, 2002
1,670
0
0
Originally posted by: AndrewR
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
MYOB
Get a life. I guess between posting on AT and spying on your neighbors, you must have a full schedule. ;)

Posts: 16708. Well, it looks like you only need one thing to keep a full schedule! :D

The only reason I really care is what happened to my friend in Okinawa and how it tore him up with his cheating wife. Seeing as how I can identify with the situation of being deployed, it bothers me to see this going on.

Incidentally, my wife does most of the spying since she stays at home during the day. I only see what happens when I'm in the driveway!

I would probably be thinking MYOB too, but something similar happened to my brother and his now ex-wife, except she was cheating on him while she was in Iraq and he was here putting his life on hold. He said he wished he would've known sooner so he could've started moving on with his life.
 

FusionKnight

Member
Jun 29, 2004
132
0
0
Role reversal - if someone else saw your wife with another man while you were deployed, would you want that person to come forward and tell you? If the answer is yes, do something about it. Otherwise, MYOB, as per the general consensus.

Personally, if my wife were cheating on me, I'd most definitely want to know about it. I also don't think I'd care where the information came from, but I've never been in that situation so I can't say for sure ;)

FK
 

Safeway

Lifer
Jun 22, 2004
12,075
11
81
This MYOB bullshit is just that, bullshit.

How can you tell the OP to not say anything? Would all of you 'MYOB' posters really NOT want to know if your wife or your husband was fvcking someone else behind your back? Yea right. Don't give sh!tty advice to other people.

As I said before, the OP should definitely step in and do something about the situation. He is out of the country, and his wife has totally fvcked their marriage up, and I don't think it is fair to the husband to continue on without knowing his wife is a heartless whore.
 

esun

Platinum Member
Nov 12, 2001
2,214
0
0
Originally posted by: IAteYourMother
do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Agreed. I'd want to know, and I think you should inform him.
 

KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
You use of the words appears to be makes me think you should MYOB.

When she gets to the point that she freely admits it or does something in public, then you can think of getting involved into someone else's marriage.
 

Presence

Golden Member
May 8, 2001
1,121
0
0
People saying that you should MYOB has no freaking clue.

I would defintely tell him. Especially if she is freaking dumb enough to go out in public view holding hands with this "other guy" or showing any type of public affection. Since you dont really know him I would go with the idea of taking pictures of them and giving them to him.

Absolutely no one who risks his life in a foreign country and whos only comfort while deployed is a loved one and someone to go home to, should go on believing that she is a faithful and devoted person to him.

edit - With that being said. I know when I was deployed I saw plenty of husbands cheating on their wives overseas. So who knows maybe she is getting back at him =/