At age 35ish, which is the bigger "red flag"?

[DougK62]

Being a single man, or being a single woman?

This question was asked on the local morning radio show and the people calling in were giving some very amusing answers. I'm 35ish myself. Obviously there is no "one size fits all" answer, but the people calling in sure are convinced that there is. So ATOT, what do you think?

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I don't think either is a red flag, but I didn't get married until I was 38 so what do I know? Though I will say, it is easier for a woman to find a man than vice versa so maybe I would wonder more about the single 35 year-old woman.

 

[DougK62]

BTW, the people phoning in to the radio show (mostly women, but some men) overwhelmingly thought that a single man that's 35ish is the bigger "red flag".

 

[DougK62]

I don't think either is a red flag, but I didn't get married until I was 38 so what do I know? Though I will say, it is easier for a woman to find a man than vice versa so maybe I would wonder more about the single 35 year-old woman.

This is my line of reasoning as well.

 

[mizzou]

Considering that women can get a man whenever she wants, im going with a woman

 

[CrazyAznDriver]

A single man in that age groupe is either gay, a serial killer, lives in the basement with his parents, or all three. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

BTW, the people phoning in to the radio show (mostly women, but some men) overwhelmingly thought that a single man that's 35ish is the bigger "red flag".

I'd like to hear that logic, but obviously women would say it was men. They're wrong. In my view, women are generally the ones who make the decision to form a relationship or not. So, if a woman is average or above and goes out regularly, she is probably going to get hit on or asked out many, many times. She is the one that gets to choose who she goes out with.

Contrast that to men, who are the ones who generally do the asking and are at the mercy of the woman saying yes or no. True, some could argue that the "red flag" for a single 35 year-old man might be that he isn't aggressive enough and possibly hasn't asked enough women out, but you can't tell that for sure. It might be that he has been rejected so many times that he finally gave up. Or, maybe the guy is just generally unattractive and can't find someone. That's a sad truth for some.

As I mentioned, I was 38 when I finally got married. I had a couple of chances in my 20s but they didn't work out and to my knowledge at least, I don't have any obvious red flags.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

A single man in that age groupe is either gay, a serial killer, lives in the basement with his parents, or all three. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Pffftt -- I was single at 35 and had my own house, was banging a hot girl I met through friends, and wouldn't harm a fly.

 

[Wyndru]

Considering that women can get a man whenever she wants, im going with a woman

This, the outcome of this poll is pretty obvious.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

My wife has a good friend who is single and 31 who can't ever seem to get into a relationship. The girl is above average in the face but has a smoking body. Her problem is that she is really pretentious and allegedly is "really picky" but in reality, she picks these losers and has sex with them on the first date and is then baffled when they treat her like a piece of ass. I really think she will be single forever.

 

[CrazyAznDriver]

Pffftt -- I was single at 35 and had my own house, was banging a hot girl I met through friends, and wouldn't harm a fly.

Yes banging them and burying them in the backyard...

 

[waggy]

A single man in that age groupe is either gay, a serial killer, lives in the basement with his parents, or all three. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

pfft. I'm 37 and single (recently divorced). have my own home and am not a serial killer (but thinking of it. dexter looks like he enjoys himself@!).


the OP's question is silly. i don't think either is bad. you don't have to get married or have kids. Not everyone wants to be a parent or husband.

 

[vi edit]

It just really depends on the person. Lots of miserly cat women in that age range that want nothing to do with men. Lots of permanent bachelor men that are neither appealling to women or want the headaches associated with women in that age range.

But then you have the opposite of that demographic with trendy professionals that have preferred casual relationships and didn't have the time or interest to settle down. That demographic has a huge female bias.

At 35 you are getting very close to a huge changeup in lifestyles. Up to that point I think women have the upperhand and can easily marry up or down in age if they find someone they are compatible with. Once they start inching closer to 40 and beyond their marketability becomes much harder. Men on the other hand can easily still easily pull a younger woman or someone their own age at that point. Once you get past mid 40's I think things mix up again as divorces start going through and people start having teenage/adult children and are looking for a hookup through retirement. Things get more even at that point. But 35-45 is a shakey age for remarriage.

Going back to the earlier point about the demographics...I think that a lot of the men that are in that range are either happy in their situation or are better able to change it. By nature I think men have less of a need for companionship/long term relationships. Women on the other hand are raised from birth with fantasies of weddings, and romance, blah blah blah and eventually start feeling a need to settle down and build a family. The older they get the harder it is for them.

Long story short....I think men are there because they want to be/content there and have a better chance to improve it. Women are on the downhill slide by that age until things come back into parity in the late 40's/50's.

 

[amdhunter]

I'm gonna choose man because I'm 36 and single and I know it's fucked up. I've already accepted the fact that I'll probably die this way too. Ah well...

 

[DougK62]

A single man in that age groupe is either gay, a serial killer, lives in the basement with his parents, or all three. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

This is basically the stance of the people calling in to the show and answering "men". Essentially that a single man at 35ish isn't stable enough in some way to be in a relationship.

 

[edro]

All of the single 35yo women are either divorced or fat.

 

[lxskllr]

Person unmarried at 35=Smart

 

[MotionMan]

pfft. I'm 37 and single (recently divorced).

There is a big difference between being 37 and single and being 37 and divorced.

IMO, the answer is definitely the woman for the reason given above. IF you have a vagina and cannot find a man to marry you by 35, then it is on you.

MotionMan

 

[novasatori]

I'm gonna choose man because I'm 36 and single and I know it's fucked up. I've already accepted the fact that I'll probably die this way too. Ah well...

I made this for you. I hope you like it:

 

[jupiter57]

A single man in that age groupe is either gay, a serial killer, lives in the basement with his parents, or all three. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

LOL!
85% of ATOT members fall under 2 out of 3 of these categories!
(Me wonders how many fall under ALL 3!)

 

[Ancalagon44]

Poll is missing two options - "Neither" or "Both".

Anyway, I do think that its more of a red flag for women since they tend to marry younger than men. I mean, men tend to marry younger women, thus, on average, women are younger when they do marry. So, a 35 year old single woman would be more of a red flag to me.

 

[brainhulk]

I know many 35 year olds females that are single. Good looking, but with 2 kids, divorced, and, seemingly desperate for a sugar daddy.

I have buddies that are around this age that are still single. But then again, they've been in school for the past 10-15 years.

Neither scenario strikes me as alarming at all. Sign of the times

 

[amdhunter]

I made this for you. I hope you like it:

 

[CrazyAznDriver]

LOL!
85% of ATOT members fall under 2 out of 3 of these categories!

Notice the one sided answers on the poll

 

[ShawnD1]

35 single woman is worse because men are usually older than women. I'm 5 years older than my gf. My dad is 1 year older than my mom. Stories like Romeo and Juliet are about 20 year old men fighting over a 14 year old girl.
35 year old man being single is maybe equivalent to a 30 year old woman being single.

Though I will say, it is easier for a woman to find a man than vice versa

I would definitely NOT say this. Almost all of my girl friends are datable. Most of the guys I know are good friends but would make horrible boyfriends. Finding a good man is a lot harder than you think.