At age 35ish, which is the bigger "red flag"?

[Capt Caveman]

BZZZZZZZZZZ WRONG.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/04/AR2006090400513.html

Yeah you can still have kids at 50 but your kids will be hardcore retarded.

If you're 40+, read the article you linked. Women develop child bearing risks much earlier than men.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

The women I know usually fall in the opposite camp. They're artistic. Their apartment or bed room is either well decorated or simple and tidy. They're not the greatest chefs, but they all seem to know how to bake things. Their main character flaw is that they simply don't care about making money. They all want to spend money and have nice things, but only 1 of them (as far as I know) makes more than 40k per year. My income is over 40k and most of the guys I hang out with earn more than me. The women I know are often single because they chase after the bad boy loser who ignores them and wants them to stop calling so damn much.

Most of my wife's friends went to expensive private liberal arts colleges, spending a ton of money and ending up in huge debt while generally making less than $40K because their degrees really gave them no marketable skills. The one in particular that I've been describing then compounded that by going to a private school for an MBA (an unranked program, I might add), racking up tens of thousands of more in debt. Like you mentioned, she can't maintain a relationship because she has picked:

1. A 20 year-old redneck (she is 31) who was clearly interested in getting laid
2. A whiny, overly emotional asshat she met online who couldn't hold down a job (but it was always the employer's fault)
3. A guy who was employed but was very obviously cheating on her

Now, at first, she acted like she was the one calling the shots and just making booty calls, but when these "relationships" ended, she started moping around and going into her "poor me" routine. These guys were obviously all asshats, we all hinted at this fact many times, but yet, she continued. She has passed up a few seemingly decent guys because:

1. No "spark" on the first date
2. A guy in sales wanted to meet her and she bashed his job as a salesperson. We told her she was being stupid because sales is where the money is in most professions and after all, she was a retail bookstore manager making under $40K per year so she had no room to judge anyone.

My wife and I are both pretty fed up with being the people she goes to to cry ALL THE TIME. I'd almost guarantee that she will be single at 35 and this is the type of girl I'm talking about -- lots of opportunities but for whatever reason, nothing works out.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Red flag? Most people are just getting out of their first marriage then.

 

[Rudee]

If you're still renting at 35 that's a pretty huge red flag for most quality women. I know several women who have promptly stopped dating men after finding out they didn't have their own place and were still renting in their mid to late 30's.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Nowadays, it's not gender specific. Has more to do with:

1. Have they ever been in a LTR
2. Career
3. Ambition/Motivation

Lots of divorced men/women in their mid-thirties.

 

[classy]

Age has never been a red flag for me. But if I see an attractive woman who is 35 or older and they are divorced or never married, I usually think that is a red flag. Same for a guys who I think are good looking and still single after 35.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Who cares they are old anyways.

 

[MotF Bane]

If you're still renting at 35 that's a pretty huge red flag for most quality women. I know several women who have promptly stopped dating men after finding out they didn't have their own place and were still renting in their mid to late 30's.

So they want the man to already have a house, and then in the divorce, the woman will take the house.

A perfect plan!

 

[ShawnD1]

Now, at first, she acted like she was the one calling the shots and just making booty calls, but when these "relationships" ended, she started moping around and going into her "poor me" routine. These guys were obviously all asshats, we all hinted at this fact many times, but yet, she continued. She has passed up a few seemingly decent guys because:

I have a friend like that. She went to a vocational school instead of liberal arts school, she has a good job, no debts, very cute, amazing personality, her friends are awesome, but she only dates douchebags. Despite being nearly perfect, she still manages to find people who will stand her up and not return phone calls. I always wonder why people like this don't end up dating one of their friends. If you get along great and you can sleep together.... hey that might make a good relationship. If she's single at 35, it's 100% her fault.

 

[Harrod]

I'd have to say its all about priorities for some people, I grew up with 2 brothers and 2 sisters from parents who probably shouldn't have had more than 2 kids at most(financially). While I enjoyed my childhood and had loving parents, I honestly have no idea how they got by on what they made.

When I started to date in college I literally ran from woman who would say stuff like, "I just want to have as many kids as I can" and stuff like. I would usually try to avoid dating people where that was there primary focus.

I've been involved in a mid 30's social group at church and have noticed that there are some pretty attractive girls in the class, but I honestly believe that most people are single for a reason, be it financial reasons, or maybe being bitter from past relationships, or they have a kid or two(this seems to be the biggest reason the attactive ones are in the class).

 

[zinfamous]

these days, being single at 35 generally means you're successful and/or well-educated.

...not that such excludes the possibility of bat-shit whacko, but I think today's society assumes something far different from the society of the past where people lived on a farm and were expected to marry at 17, when this assumption of "red flag" first developed.

 

[Fingolfin269]

I think it depends on which generation you're asking. Most of us in our 30s will have a completely different answer than our parents would to this question.

 

[Joseph F]

Yes banging them and burying them in the backyard...

Not particularly in that order. :sneaky:

 

[SP33Demon]

I'd bet you a million dollars that most women would disagree with you on that.

Yes, the only reason that they'd disagree is b/c they're fcked in the head to expect Romeo who's 6-5, a millionaire, and helps needy children in Africa in his spare time. And they wonder why they're still single at 35... pop culture like Sex and the City has only made it worse for them.

 

[DougK62]

For me, I just wish that others would realize that some people actually choose to be single. If I get one more person looking down on me because I'm not married I swear I'm going to blow a gasket. You being married or having kids doesn't automatically mean that you're "winning" life and I'm "losing".

This mindset is especially prevalent around where I live in the midwest.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

... pop culture like Sex and the City has only made it worse for them.

Great point. I've mentioned to my wife on several occasions that her friend (the one I've mentioned 2 or 3 times in this thread) acts like she is a cast member of Sex and the City.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

For me, I just wish that others would realize that some people actually choose to be single. If I get one more person looking down on me because I'm not married I swear I'm going to blow a gasket. You being married or having kids doesn't automatically mean that you're "winning" life and I'm "losing".

This mindset is especially prevalent around where I live in the midwest.

I'm in the midwest too and when I was younger (late teens/early 20s), I didn't date. That prompted some of the nosier relatives to ask my mom and grandma if I "liked girls" or not. Obviously we all knew what they were getting at and keep in mind that was in the late 80s/early 90s, when being gay was still not widely accepted especially in the midwest.

But otherwise, I never really felt like people looked down on me in the intevening years between being 21 and finally getting married at 38. Oh, sure, I had a few people try to fix me up, but their hearts were in the right place and frankly, I did appreciate them thinking highly enough of me to want to fix their daughter/cousin/friend up with me.

 

[Remobz]

I am 38 years old and NEVER been married and NEVER had any kids that I know of.

Been dating a 43 year old divorced woman with 2 kids for 5 years now.

The majority of my women have been older and with kids. No biological clock thing to worry about...

If I never have kids or get married I am prepared to live with that fact.

By the way, my grandfather had a kid at 58 years old with his second wife......hmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Baked]

Younger women dig older men. Older men dig younger women.

BTW, I'm not a serial killer even though I live in a 3 bed/2 bath condo by myself. 2/3 of my time is spent at work.

 

[BurnItDwn]

BZZZZZZZZZZ WRONG.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/04/AR2006090400513.html

Yeah you can still have kids at 50 but your kids will be hardcore retarded.

Thanks for the link, I didn't know that. Learned something new today

 

[NetWareHead]

If you're still renting at 35 that's a pretty huge red flag for most quality women. I know several women who have promptly stopped dating men after finding out they didn't have their own place and were still renting in their mid to late 30's.

This is the most retarded post in this thread.

 

[hanoverphist]

A single man in that age groupe is either gay, a serial killer, lives in the basement with his parents, or all three. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

or divorced. ive been single for almost 6 years, im 41 now. while im not gay nor living with my parents, serial killer hasnt been ruled out.

 

[alkemyst]

Rudee, most are renting today and they are the one's playing it smart.

Being single a 35 shouldn't be a red flag anymore.

Living at home esp if you never left at 35 should be.

 

[shortylickens]

Wrong forum I think.

Also, I'm 32 and I HATE being single. And I suspect its a lot like getting a new job. You need to be actively employed to go looking for a new one with any hope of success.
If I could just break back into the dating pool I think I'd be alright. Its that first hurdle.

I miss Oregon.


As for females: I dont have a problem with a woman being single at 35, but I do know women dont like themselves when they are that old and not married. In fact as desperate as they normally are to be settled down, I'd say its a bigger red flag for women than men.

 

[alkemyst]

wow it's messed up the dudes above that think 'not dating' is normal.